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the NOCD Community

discussion!: who here is a believer that ocd can be “cured(no symptoms/minimal).” who is a believer that we will have to put up w this for the long run. i’ve read so many mixed stories and i’m real curious what people think/ what their goal is for recovery. let’s spread some hope if we can in the comments. i’m feeling like i only have a few more turns left on this road to recovery, but i am not sure exactly what that means even tho i’m going thru it. i know i will always have the thoughts as they can’t be “removed”from my mind. but it’s almost as if they are turning into memories i can recall when i remember associations w them. ok that’s all but a discussion on this would b cool :^]

I can not live with all of this episodes I had eve since ocd attached to my religion I feel like just feeling that I committed the unpardonable sin makes me feel sometimes that I shouldn’t be alive or that should of had die when all of this started happening there is days when I have hope but there is others where I feel like this😔

I wish I could just watch TV like normal. I'm always like "she's pretty/skinny" but never think it about guys (I am a straight woman) and that makes me anxious. I was never really one of those girls that had pictures of famous guys. So whilst feeling anxious, I anticipate any intrusive thought/mental compulsion, which makes me have an intrusive thought cos I'm just waiting for it. Cos I'm starting to accept better that I AM straight and the "I'm gay" thoughts are OCD, it's now trying the "I'm bi" as a way to keep the OCD present even though I KNOW that I am straight. I don't like the idea of being with a woman (gosh my anxiety/OCD brain is triggering me by being like "you might like it if it happened" or you never know unless you try - but I do KNOW). Dammit! I just want to watch TV, sometimes I become so aware of where I am looking when I watch it, it's like "do I just stare at their face" (shows clothes for example) "or do i look at the clothes?" "Whats normal? How do normal look at the people on TV? How do I even HUMAN??!" 😒

This is a question for really anyone. Growing up I didn’t have a ton of friends, but in my later teens, early twenties i met a group of guys that I would hang out with. One of them I became really good friends with and I looked up to him as a brother, mainly because he was a few years older. He was basically everything I wanted to be, funny, smart and very charismatic. It was a very Tyler Durden/ fight club type scenario. We would hang out one on one and sometimes just drive around and BS, or talk about relationships, girls, etc. My OCD/HOCD is now attacking it as if I was attracted to him romantically or some other bullshit and I wanted to be around him because of that. Honestly I never had a fleeting thought of romanticism towards him back then, I just thought it was cool to hang out with someone I admired and wanted to be like and was essentially the older brother I never had. Does/did anyone else have this type of friendship or relationship? Does it sound “gay” I guess (he’s married with a kid now, I’m obviously dealing with HOCD but never felt any type of sexual feelings toward)?

Hey please anyone active I need someone to talk to not about reassurance not ocd related

How do I do exposure for obsessions about being a lesbian or fears that I don’t love my boyfriend well enough or fear of becoming lesbian?? Anyone else have this problem??

My life was so different before this theme hit. My boyfriend had just left for boot camp and so I was working on myself and trying to grow and I was making so much progress. I was working on opening up about my feelings, learning how to trust others and really learning so much about my emotions. I was learning how to cook, trying out different hobbies, roller blading, playing video games and for a small glimpse second it felt like I could finally see a future for myself. The future I wanted. I could see myself going to college, becoming a teacher, traveling, and if I was lucky enough I’d have my partner by my side. The reason this all started was because in December I was trying to work out why my intimacy with my partner wasn’t as good as it should be and why I felt disconnected at times. I thought I wasn’t attracted to him or that I was forcing it but in reality I have low self esteem, a fear of abandonment and other fears and worries around sex. So the thought popped in of “Am I not enjoying it very much because I’m gay?”. I dismissed it but then a few days later I thought a new friend of mine was very pretty and again, “Does this mean I like her?” After two weeks of ruminating I dismissed it until my friend came out as bi and after that it never went away. Since then everything has become a blurry mess and that small glimpse of hope I had for my future is gone. I just don’t know anymore and it breaks my heart. I’ve never been one to give my life over to a man but I did always imagine I’d have a great guy by my side. Now it’s all on pause and it really hurts, I feel distant from my now partner, distant from my goals and future, distant from friends and family. It really feels like I want to be with a woman and the idea of that just puts everything on hold. How could I possibly be happy with anything I used to want for myself if I have to be with a woman? There’s so much I haven’t done with a man that I want to do , so much to explore but it feels fake now. I wish I could get back into the same groove as before and try to work on myself, but my heart just isn’t in it. It feels like everything I believed in was just a lie to cover up my “true” self. :/

Alcohol and OCD: A cruel mistress! Hi all. I wanted to share my thoughts and potentially start a discussion about the role of alcohol in OCD. Certainly in my case I think it is a fundamental contributor to my suffering, and I'm not surprised about the statistics related to how many OCD sufferers also suffer from problematic drinking. My current obsessive themes are Real Event/guilt OCD and are often related to situations and events where I was incredibly drunk with fuzzy and missing memories, or my drunkenness contributed to certain actions that I now obsessively regret. Whilst this was in the past, alcohol is still contributing to my suffering, and I'm starting to wonder whether I would be much happier without it. I find that after sometimes months of feeling fine, most if not all of my major relapses have occurred directly after a night of heavy drinking, and that spark has sent me spiralling for days and sometimes weeks. I then became obsessed about limiting my drinking in certain situations, I had a fear that if I was drunk I would end up committing some horrible crime or cheating on my partner. Now though I'm finding that I'm drinking moderate amounts of alcohol on a very regular basis, just to take my mind off my obsessions, which is very unhealthy. When I have a drink, even just one, it feels like my thoughts just almost vanish in importance, it's like a beautiful break from all the suffering. This feeling scares me a little and I now worry that I might be verging on some form of dependency on alcohol. I'm not looking for any reassurance here, just wanted to share my experience and chat with others who might also be struggling in this way.

Does anyone want to chat with me? I’m not looking for reassurance, I’m just feeling really upset and anxious and would love some encouragement. 😢

Who else constantly wishes they could go back to their old self? A time when you didn’t have such horrible obsessions. It made me realise, you only appreciate what you have when it’s gone. I’d do anything to have my sanity back

Has anyone else become obsessed with something related to politics or news? For the past two weeks I can’t stop thinking about one issue and I end up researching it endlessly. And when I’m not researching it I’m ruminating on it constantly, basically from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep. I want to stop thinking about it because it’s exhausting but I feel like I can’t. I don’t know if this is my OCD manifesting or if I just have an obsessive brain and fixate on things. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any tips on ERP for this?

I’m so scared that I do have ocd but I am also in denial. Like it’s so obvious now that I do all these compulsions and things, but I’m so scared that I’ll get better and find out that I am gay/ bi, and I was just in denial whilst also having ocd about it.

Hi, I have this problem everytime I feel asleep I feel like I hear something inside my head, feels like I have television inside my head playing an advertisement and it is loud enough that I can hear it. I am in the stage of confusion if I only hear it thru my ears or thru my head but 80 percent sure that I am not hearing thru my ears but loud enough that I can hear it in my head. I don't know what's happening actually. I am so confused right now. By the way my currently fear is having a multiple personality disorder. Your comment will be much appreciated.

I used to think like aw how sweet this girl thinks I’m cool enough to hug when receiving affection from female friends it was like “Yay I’m one of the girls” but now it just makes me insanely uncomfortable. Today I was taking pictures at my banquet and my friend cupped my face in her hands and did a kissy face for the picture and I felt like running away. Before it wouldn’t have bothered and I would’ve gone along with the picture but ugh no, not today. I guess the new “cycle” of this stupid theme is whether or not me liking affection means I like my friends. 🙄

I sometimes say I'm gay like I can't control it ?

for anyone suffering right now, here is some reminders that may ease the pain. 🌷 -you’re not your intrusive thoughts (no matter how ugly, disgusting, disturbing they are) -there will be better days so just keep going -thoughts don’t mean anything about your character (how you treat others, your spirit, your wants) -if you’ve had a horrible intrusive thought, i’ve probably had it. you’re not alone. -the reason we get attacked by horrible images, scenes, thoughts is because they’re labeled in our brains as threats. -there’s a difference between a “fear” and a “want”, people with pure o are usually fearful of their thoughts, they don’t want them. -lastly, take care of yourself, watch a movie, do some self care, get some well needed rest. 🍄you matter and you’re important, no matter what your intrusive thoughts tell you. 💐<3

this isn’t ocd related but me venting instead. i am graduating high school next saturday and i can’t help but think that i wasted my 4 years there. never drank, never done drugs, and never gone to parties. i feel so painfully boring and i am really leaving without having these experiences and it hurts. i am also going to community college for financial reasons and i am just missing more of it :/

Does anyone know why hocd and rocd usually occur in that order? My hocd started bothering me and almost immediately I started doubting my relationship with my spouse? Any information would be helpful. I hope everyone has an anxiety free weekend!!

Isn’t it so frustrating when you’re having a great day and in a wonderful mood (rare) and then all of a sudden, you’re triggered by something silly and now you’re anxious about something that keeps coming up over and over in your mind? I feel like this might sound silly (or many not). I’m scared to share in case everyone replies and just says what a big red flag this is but I’m so sick of being anxious about this so here goes... My partner and I will have been together for 4 years this year and he’s never posted about me on social media 🤦🏼‍♀️ on one hand, I feel so stupid for worrying about this (we’re in our 30’s for goodness sake!), but on the other hand, it still makes me extremely anxious when I think about it too much. We’ve had sooo many conversations about it, because I would get really upset that he was ashamed of me or trying to hide me. He always promises that isn’t why. He feels like posting on social media is like, the highest level of commitment lol. Last time we had this conversation, he told me he would feel more comfortable proposing to me than posting online. I know he was always uncomfortable with it, even when he was married. Apparently she would post photos of them from his account and he was always super uncomfortable with it. But yeah....I thought about it again today and it just makes me feel like there’s something seriously wrong with us. His family and friends all know about me, we’re always going out in public, but it just feels strange that we don’t post online. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I want sappy posts or anything....I just want the comfort of feeling like we’re “normal” and that it’s not just a huge red flag waving over my head. Okay, I guess that’s it. Thanks for listening! If you have any opinions, please be super gentle so I don’t totally freak out 😅 thank you!!

Hey everyone any tips for Contamination OCD? For example: The sufferer is constantly worried about things such as household chemicals and outside stuff getting on her and then on her stuff and then harming her animals. For example, if she steps on something in the street (something she believes is unsafe like car oil) she worries about it transferring from her shoes to her clothes to her belongings and then to her pets and then she worries about her pets getting sick from it. Because of this she avoids touching some of her belongings (like some of her books) because she worries that she will now think that the "contaminant" is now on the belonging and then she's going to feel tempted to throw it out when she really doesn't want to. Any advice? Tips on how to get this to stop?