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So yesterday I had an unintended exposure which left me pretty uncomfortable. But today, I feel really happy. I've been smiling a lot more and I don't exactly know why. But, I'm glad I can be able to share this happiness with my family and friends. Maybe it's because my friend told me she could finally get the therapy she needed. Maybe it's because my best friend is there for me and will always support me. Maybe it's because of the journaling I've been doing, like right now. I'm sorry to anyone that might be annoyed by me talking about myself a lot in this post, but sometimes, I just like to journal here, you know? It helps me. My current problems are my OCD latches onto something that happened in 2018 when I was 16/17 and of course my addiction to adult content for about 8 years. It all started when I was 11. I'm working on stopping it right now and so far I'm 13 whole days clean. I haven't peeked at anything, and I haven't even gone on Instagram. I'm better off not being on any platforms that are triggering for my mental health in these conditions. I'm grateful that I at least know where I want to be at the end of all this: I'd like to be worry free, have my brain be 100% rewired, and pretty much get the old me back. True happiness from doing the simplest of things. True confidence and feelings of strength in order to get through the day. Strong natural and not forced attractions of the opposite gender, and pretty much an overall enjoyment of life. I don't want these past events to get to me and I don't think I should. Maybe I'm beating myself up over it, and I can give myself breathing room. I've tried this, and I seem to be much happier than usual. I'm going to take small steps to enjoy my day. I always tell myself: One day at a time. Day by day goals can help me get through things long term. I hope everyone else is well. I hope everyone is getting the help they deserve. I hope everyone has courage and the willpower to get through their days. I wish everyone a good day, a good week. Heck, a good month. :)

I'm convinced. Loss of attraction will be the death of me. I let in too essily.

I am going to carry a pocket knife with me. at this point I don't know I am a pedo or a pocd but I am not going to trust me anymore. I am going to carry a pocket knife so by any chance If I ever had any uncontrollable urge (which I never had), and there was a chance of me harming a child, I would just cut my hand or injure myself so that the urge would be take over by the Pain of the injury

Every single waking moment is filled with sexually intrusive images. I almost had an orgasm out of pure fear. Idk what to do anymore...

I'm not diagnosed with anything. People who have a fear of developing schizophrenia how do you deal with it?

Feeling Unworthy. I've talked a bit about how my OCD makes me look up threads online from people who are very anti religious and against believing in things like a Biblical creation story etc. It makes me feel unworthy to have a life and enjoy things knowing some people are so staunchly against some of what I believe and say to teach it is brainwashing kids etc. It's hard for my brain to get over how anti religion these people are and to just let it go as their beliefs and focus on my own.

First night without picking in AGES. And I just painted my nails so I know I won’t now at least till they’re dry. :) Also, I’ve been thinking a lot about my scars (from picking). Mostly I hate them because they’re on my face and feel so visible and shameful. I’ve learned to love my stretch marks from pregnancy though, and I’m working on loving my bumpy little belly that’s just part of how I’m shaped. I’m wondering if I can apply the same sort of thinking to my scars, even though they’re self-inflicted. They’re still part of my journey, you know? Anyone else have thoughts on/experience with body positivity around scars from mental or physical illness?

Lately I’ve been feeling urges that come along with my thoughts. I get thoughts of me harming others, but sometimes I can’t tell if I am capable of doing it or no, and it’s really disturbing. Do i really want to harm others? Am i capable of doing it? I can’t tell and it’s horrible! I feel the need to make sure it’s only OCD and nothing else. Is this normal?

I'm finding it so hard to transition into adulthood. I feel like I'm smart enough or prepared enough for any of this. :(

My inner voice tells me I don't value him enough, I don't love him enough, don't miss him enough and everything I feel and do isn't enough

If I walk through doors or door frames or walk through something like with wall near it or somwthing big or small or whatever near it and my mouths open/didn't breathe right/didn't do something right/didn't do something. I keep doing it but i keep like spitting ish, not like actual spitting but like making saliva bubbles and i feel like it helps but i dont know if it does, The thing is I got told i dont even have ocd, i got told its stress and anxiety resulting in ocd things, everytime I think about it I want to cry, the thought of someone thinking they know better than me ABOUT ME (I know they do know better but it angers and upsets me) MY FRIEND TOLD ME TO SEND THE FOLLOWING TO MY MUM AND SHE WROTE/ TYPED. IT "Dear Miss Eastwood, Hii so i am Charley one of lillys best mates, you havent met me before but i went to her primary, so ik lilly had a call from Cahms on monday over her mental health and the results came back saying she was completely fine and she has no problems, well thats where its kind of confusing, lilly told me not to tell you this but i am sick of her feeling like no one understands how she feels or that she feels like a mong, but i am going to tell you anyway cos lillys mental health matters the most to me and i am sure it does to you aswell, lilly has stated to me "Apparently when I've told them i can't eat I can't even brush my teeth or get in the bath can't even walk through a door or a door frame but don't worry I'm fine" in this sentence it shows that lilly is not okayy she struggles to do simple everyday tasks clearly there is something not okay with her, one night poor lilly messaged me saying she couldnt eat her tea, i had to force her to eat something even if it was one mouthful so i knew she had something in her belly, she had a couple of beans that night, she didnt want to eat cos she didnt want to repeat things as it drained her, a 13 year old girl cant eat, drink, charge her phone, have a bath, walk, talk, message at all but yet there is nothing wrong with her, lilly has messaged me multipul times crying asking for help, wondering why God made her like this and thinking nothing will ever get better, it hurts me soo much knowing that lilly (part 1)" ".... knowing that lilly isnt getting the help and support of her family at all, she feels like a mong whenever she has too repeat things because that isnt 'normal' she feels as though she has to say sorry after repeating things which she shouldnt have too, i am not trying to make you feel guilty at all about this but i want you to know that lilly is not okayy and isnt the happy little girl anymore, she goes to bed everynight crying wondering why she aint normal and why everyone thinks nothing is wrong with her, it annoys me that no one is taking her seriously anymore, she feels as though the only people supporting her are her closest friends, i have told her so many times that things are going to get better and its okayy not to be okayy, i have told her inspirational quotes that have helped me such as 'a glowstick has to break before it can glow' i have told her to follow accounts on imstagram that help her mental health because she needs support, i have done so much for this girl and when she finally gets better someone hurts her again and no one at home helps her, i know you have heard some of this before and there is more but as a best friend to lilly i feel like this needs adressing, also it is mental health awarness month and lillys mental health i s getting pushed aside. " "part 2" "...... why should a little girls mental health get ignored, idc if u think nothing is wrong with her, this girl is struggling no matter what some 'special' doctor says. Sorry about this i hoep things inprove now you know if you want to know anything else feel free to ask me and lilly cos lilly isnt going to suffer in silence anymore its time she gets her voice heard. hope you have a nice weekend and stay safe. Charley x"

Can somebody please respond?? Whenever I get intensive thoughts about being gay, I get a weird positive vibe about the thoughts. Like I like the thoughts, but I dont want to. I always wanted to have a girlfriend. I never had feelings for a guy. What the fuck is happening to me... I don't even het excited anymore whenever I think of girls

What do you guys do when you have thoughts that have to do with something you did in your past? I am having an obsessive thought about something I used to do as a young teenager and feeling like I’m disgusting for it and worried about doing it again.

God I really am starting to hate pornsites. I try to only go on the bigger name ones since they put more effort into regulating it and every once in awhile I see an armature video where the girl looks young but can easily be 18 and that happened recently. I tried looking on the comments to see if anyone else questioned her age or confirmed how old she was and no one has. I didn't watch the video but I guess I feel guilty because from the thumbnail the girl looked attractive but questionable on her age and instead of moving on I tried to investigate it. I keep feeling intense guilt even though I didn't even watch the video. Even thought about going back to the video to report it and see if it gets taken off but I decided it would probably be better if I let it go, but now I keep thinking this over and over. I try to use uncertainty to counter these thoughts but the guilt and anxiety just piles on. To the point I was starting to have a panic attack and started disassociating which just made the anxiety worse. Now I just feel disgusting and I hate the feeling. Makes me feel like I don't deserve the air in my lungs.

I don’t see a lot of Harm OCD posted on the thread; unless it’s being posted as Pure OCD because rumination, etc. takes place mentally. But I can’t be the only one who experiences Harm OCD towards others that’s using this app. I would truly appreciate any feedback from anyone who can relate to this post. Thanks in advance!

I don't know why but I saw a lot of YouTube videos on phedophiles. Now I feel like I am not only a pedophile but also a psychopath who is going to molest any children insee. God please help me i am crying 😭

What is something you wish more people would understand about what OCD is like for you?

really struggling here. i actually accepted the uncertainty for once about experimenting and now that doesn’t even bother me anymore i’m just letting myself be open to whatever 🤷🏻‍♀️ i was also trying to be so perfect with my sexuality and stuff and it really took a toll on me and i kind of let myself go and just said hey i’m not 100% straight but i would like to identify that way and i was fine!!!! but the main things i’m struggling with right now are: 1. because i accepted myself as 100% not straight i feel like i need to label myself as bi 2. i’m struggling with a false attraction 3. i think i’m in denial i feel like a lot of people are going to come at me and say i’m bi because i’m more open and not so “OCD” about being 100% straight anymore and that im open to the idea of experimenting even though i have no idea if i would even like that because i genuinely don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️

What are ocd moments you had as a kid?

how do i convey my ocd thoughts to my partner without scaring them off? my obsessions are about how i feel scared that “what if i don’t love her”. what do i do?