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I want to open up about something I struggle with still, and maybe some of the people I comment and offer help on may in turn have ideas for me? Because we know ocd is a constant path of recovery we coast on I struggle a lot with picture-taking. I feel like any time I notice something I want to “remember”, I need to take a photo of it. And if it doesn’t look exactly like how I’m seeing it (a plant catching the sunlight, my body in the mirror), i need to continue retaking it. This is starting to get to be a problem because I’ll end up taking around 50 or more photos a day. My phone gets super cluttered, and when I can’t find a photo of something actually important/worth keeping, it’s very embarrassing. I go back and delete as many old screenshots and random photos, but until I stop doing it every day I’m basically treading water. I’m not sure if this need to remember something exactly how it was in that moment came about (I think when one of my family members passed away from dementia I got this fear of not being able to preserve things exactly so) but I figure as a community, I could reach out to some of you guys. Thanks for taking the time to read. :)

is there any good songs about ocd? not the stereotypes, though. i like to use music to help with my thoughts, and finding lyrics i relate to really help :)

becoming crazy with life, cant speak english nor spanish no more, ocd killing me, loneliness killing me, depression killing me life is worthless

I'm so scared right now, I don't think my intrusive thoughts are intrusive anymore. I feel completely numb and disconnected from everything and everyone. I feel like I'm insane. I don't feel reassured by anything which makes me think I want the thoughts. for example I have harm ocd thoughts about my daughter and always have since she was born, she is now 9. I've suffered terribly with mental health since she was born. and an intrusive thought I have just had is "if I killed her i wouldn't be anxious anymore" can thoughts become this distressing? this can't be normal, please someone help.

Anyone elsw feel happy and calm but then suddenly a rush of cheating ocd pops out like oh you shouldnt feel calma round your partner because you cheated! But heres the thing how did I cheat if I dont even recall talking to anyone sexually or flirty during the time we became official. I think and think but all I can remember is telling someone I basically couldnt talk to them anymore because I was taking someone serious.

wowww i’m having a panic attack. the requirement to be a pedophile in my country is 16. i’m terrified, i’m so scared. ocd is so horrible

Hi everyone, A quick introduction I’ve had ocd for many years I’m 41 I did not get diagnosed until I was 30 and I went through an extremely bad patch. I had cbt and am on medication still. I had a relatively good 10 years where i could carry on my life I look back now and think there are certain things I never dealt with as I was too ashamed all I told my therapist was I get intrusive thoughts around knives just telling her that I felt scared when I know now I should of told her everything. So they revolve around harm to others this can be anyone Fear of certain things news, horror, etc. But the one thought that I always pushed to the back of my mind is relationship ocd. I have been with my partner for 17 years he has been extremely supportive throughout my life but the ocd revolves around me questioning if he’s cheated about four years ago I was at a wedding with him and someone came up to me and said I don’t know if this is true but I’ve heard (your partner ) has a child with someone else and a partner and he loves you both well as you can imagine this was an absolute shock I rang this person when I got home and I said so where is this lady and child and all she said was oh birmingham or Bristol not quite sure it could be a rumour. Anyway it nearly split us up and fast forward last 4 years nothing has ever come of it but i have not done well constantly asking for reassurance being horrible to him the intimacy side has been non existent we both work very hard I have my own business and he works 2 jobs so is away at weekends which feeds the anxiety I’ve realised I’ve got into a pattern for the last year or so for asking for reassurance without realising he cares for me and looks after me but I still have a niggle in my mind and always have a dig at him. I’m exhausted from it all and at Christmas I went to moms for a few weeks as I was so unwell with ocd I’m waiting treatment and I’m working on not asking for reassurance. I want to stay with him but something needs to change. I have thoughts of harm around him I tell him everything and he just makes a joke about it which we laugh at. I google cheat quiz how often you should have sex everything. I’m just at a loss. He works long days 14 - 15 hours I do to but have had to cut down as I couldn’t carry on like that so we have no time for each other since I’ve been ill he’s been getting home earlier and making sure I’ve eaten and took medication. There’s also been a lot of illness around me lately people I know through work and I think it over in my mind. Sorry for such a long post just needed to get it out there.

Hello everyone. I seem to have moral scrupulosity. I made some purchases last Thursday that I am feeling guilt over. Conscience is telling me to return them, but part of me is saying this is OCD but another part says it is reasonable guilt. So I am trying to sit with the guilt and hoping it goes away, but it is not. Having extreme anxiety over this and it seems to be growing. Ruminating about it all day and getting little sleep. The premise of ERP is that resisting the urge to perform the compulsion would lessen it, but it is only growing. After almost 6 days, it is just getting worse. I am on the verge of giving up in order to get relief. Any suggestions from anyone?

i saw some videos last year and i feel incredibly guilty for viewing them. i’m not sure how to get rid of that guilty feeling and being terrified that my future could be ruined, or that i could be arrested and hated by everyone. i’m not even over 18 but it’s so terrifying. what can i do? i’ve realised yesterday that a compulsion is to ask for reassurance, so i want to help myself. it’s just difficult because they calm down for a moment, but then get really bad again. i miss being able to sit down and do nothing without being attacked by this guilt and terrifying thoughts of the future.

Hey guys! I just want to thank everyone who answered my posts these past few days /last week and who prayed for me. I have came out of one of those mental storms, and I am not despairing any more. Thank you so much for answering me as I am truly in a scary place during those times..Of course I give this praise to God who is the author of all things and giver of all comfort and help. He used you all to give me encouragement and relief during those times. Thank you so so much!! I hope to help you too whenever you need🌸

Hi everyone. My son (14) is having a terrible experience at Rogers IOP and we feel we need to leave the program. What’s it like to leave a program in the middle of it? He completed full 6weeks of IOP at Rogers online, which was so disorganized. He’d get links for n multiple places, sometimes after a meeting had started. It CAUSED him anxiety. He only got his plan and schedule and distress list 4-5 week into the 6 week program. So they recommended he move to an in person program which has been worse. We drive 90 minutes every day for Kane to sit in a windowless room by himself for three hours with the behaviorist popping in for maybe the mins total. I have no idea what hat they’re working on, but hat the plan is, how I’m supposed to help at home, just anything. The therapist doesn’t seem to know even the basics about him. We finally met with her 7 days into the program and she was asking me basic questions, like Does he have an IEP? We’d answered repeatedly in the hours and hours of intake meetings. It was like they didn’t know much about him or why he was there! My sons behavior is worse, we’ve totally disrupted our family and other kids by spending 7 hours a day away from home every day. I just don’t feel they are organized or coordinating. I don’t feel any real care or compassion. I’m so heartbroken. Two totally failed IOPs. It seems crazy not to me not to end this program at this point. But I have no idea what it means to end a program in the middle or what to do for my son now. We tried NOCD several months ago and loved it, so maybe we try this again. I’m so sad and disappointed. This has all been so exhausting for everyone and to have it end in failure, worse than where we started, is devastating. 😞 you welcome your advice.

The thoughts are more believable when you don’t have anxiety

This post may be triggering for those with SOOCD, so please don’t read if you’re in a vulnerable spot in your recovery. I feel like this will end my marriage. I’ve read things on this app that triggered me, and I’m doing a lot to keep going. But I feel like every day is a new battle. Someone said that finding women more sexually arousing in porn is a common theme for lesbians. I do have that, but I also love and want to be with my husband. My sex life has always been pretty hard due to anxiety. Am I in denial then? What’s happening to me. Last time I had sex was miserable. My therapist thinks I’m making progress but I keep having dreams with naked women where in the dream I cry because I’m afraid I feel aroused. I’m not aroused by abs on men. He told me to look at pictures of men with abs for exposure but I tried today and I feel helpless. I’m not hopeful sex will get better or that I’ll ever get out of this.

So I have this compulsion and it's kind of like reassurance and for some people could be triggering so beware. I spend hours on the internet looking up if it's possible to change your sexuality because even if my obsessions happen to be true I'd still have the chance to change it. And I get so anxious and depressed when I don't find anything because sexuality is still a complex matter. I don't endorse any type of conversion therapy because they basically have zero scientific arguments and cause more harm than good and also I don't think that people need to change their sexualities unless they wanted to. So it makes me feel bad because I really end up wishing that science hurry up and comes with some concrete facts regarding sexuality so that I can be reassured that I won't have to be what my thoughts tell me to be

This has an aspect of OCD but isn’t mainly about that. I’m 90% sure I have ADHD, like I keep seeing articles about how symptoms present in girls and I match with most. Currently counselling isn’t an option as I’m in a tier 4 zone and in lockdown, so there is no way to ask a counsellor for their opinion, which means I’m stuck, unsure of what is happening. I don’t want to self diagnose because I know that is awful and the whole situation just makes me feel very anxious. My OCD is making me doubt that I have the symptoms and telling me that I’m faking having everything. That I’m faking OCD, anxiety and that I have no symptoms of ADHD. Does anyone have advice on a way for me to get this checked out over lockdown to appease this?

Hey everyone, my ex girlfriend broke up with me in October. She told me she wasn’t ready for a relationship with me as she hadn’t healed from her previous relationship even though she left her ex boyfriend for me. I met her in College two years ago and we became really good friends. I was single at the time and she was in a long term relationship so there was always boundaries there I suppose. However, early last year she confessed she had strong feelings for me whilst still in a relationship. Tbh, I was quite in shock. I always felt she had feelings for me but never thought she’d confess whilst being in a relationship. Therefore, I rejected her and explained why because I had a feeling this would eventually happen as it wasn’t straightforward and all seemed quite rushed on her end but because I loved her so much, I foolishly went along with it. Looking back now with my OCD being less severe, I can think more clearly about how naive I was at the time and why did I tolerate so much bull shit? I have so much anger built up inside about all the red flags and why I didn’t put my foot down sooner. She used to tell me about other guys such as a guy in work who sent her nudes. I told her to block him and I’m not even sure if she did because I see she follows him on Instagram now. Then her male friend who was flirting with her and texting her who she told me not to worry about even though this is the guy she’s now dating which I will discuss below. She told me when we broke up she needs to be alone for a long time anyways. I contacted her last month to see how she was keeping and she told me she has been dating this guy since 3 weeks after we broke up. I found out that for myself she just denied it even when I proved it with evidence. I was fuming and we had a huge fight. I text her a few days after we broke up because I was genuinely suicidal and asked her to meet up to find some closer yet she went drinking in a park with him and some of her other friends and bare in mind, she never broke up with me in person. She broke up with me over text message and I never seen her in person since we broke up. I just can’t believe after everything I sacrificed, how much love and time I gave her how she could do this to me and pretend it’s not a problem?? I hate how blinded I was by her when she literally begged for me to be with her last year. She even used to slag the new guy off to me saying he’s ugly and just a friend yet told me last month she has more feelings for him instead the same thing she told me about having more feelings for me over her other ex. I’m furious about how deceitful, manipulative and easy she has become. I have lost all respect for her. I’m not perfect by no means but I’m such a loyal person. She knew how bad my OCD was and how much of an effort I was making in terms of my relationship because anytime I was with her my OCD was very manageable, it was only bad when I used to be at home thinking about it. One month before we broke up, we were planning our future. How many kids we want. Where we want to live. Where we want to travel etc. She even told me I’m the love of her life and she wants me forever. I just feel so betrayed and taken advantage of. I feel like a fool 😔😔

HELP PLEASE so this guy I had a thing with nearly 2 years ago messaged me about something, we are still friends but my bf is uncomfortable with it, we were talking about him getting over his ex and he said he has been getting fit and he would show me but he doesnt wanna make me or my bf uncomfortable I dindt reply to that I just changed the subject, after I said I had to go he said "talk soon yeah" and I havent replied and I feel like I've cheated on my bf or something and I feel like this guy was trying to flirt with me but I'd never do anything with him whilst I'm with my bf and I've told him I'm happy now I cant relax 😥

I'm new to this app and really need support or someone to talk to right now. I've been feeling horrible the last 2 weeks. I feel like I have had OCD for about 8 years now but recently it has been making me feel horrible. I have been feeling anxious, sick to my stomach, crying most of the day. I have been feeling unmotivated to do my college classes or play video games. I have experienced Harm OCD, HOCD, and a couple others but right now its ROCD that has been bothering me. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years now and he is literally the most amazing and loving boyfriend that I could ever ask for and we have no problems in our relationship but I have just been having these thoughts and like "Do I love him?" "Should I break up with him?", "Do I have feelings for him?", Ect and it really bothers me cause there's no reason to break up with him. I keep trying to dissmiss the thoughts or I look for reasurance by looking up ROCD on the internet but I know that it probably makes it worse by doing that. I can't tell him about my ROCD because he's going through his own mental problems right now and also has tons of family stress at home and he's seeing a therapist and I know that If I tell him about these thoughts that it will make him feel confused and insecure and I don't want to risk harming my relationship. My mom is currently trying to find me a therapist that covers our insurance and is affordable for us cause my brother also needs a therapist for OCD. I just think that I really need a therapist right now to help me through my OCD. I have always been so scared to talk to someone about my OCD because I thought that it was crazy but now I realize that so many other people are going through this as well and that I'm not crazy.

Please help I feel like a horrible human being. I’ve never cheated on my partner but I almost did 5 years ago. I was in another country and I got blackout drunk. I was walked to my hotel room by a woman I didn’t know. The next day she talked to my cousin and told him what happened. She also told him that I was talking about my girlfriend the whole night but I can’t help but think that I was too drunk to think straight and reject her had she tried to hook up with me. I know I didn’t initiate anything but what if I’m my mind I thought about cheating? What if I wanted to and we didn’t because she was a good person and knew I had a girlfriend? I feel so horrible about this incident and I wish I could go back in time and not get that drunk. I know for a fact that nothing happened but what were my intentions that night? I can’t figure it out and it’s driving me insane. Please help

Hi, I'm a girl and I'm 20 yo I'm Italian, so first of all, I'm sorry for my bad English. I've always had an anxious and obsessive personality since I was a child. when I was 9, I saw a gay couple in a movie, from that moment and for about a year I was constantly afraid that I could be homosexual. with the beginning of middle school and high school, however, I acquired more maturity, I probably moved all my anxiety into the study as I was getting panic attacks almost every day bc of school and exams. A year and 3 months ago, with the end of high school, I met also my boyfriend and I can say that between us it was love at first sight. but after a while I started to be afraid that our story might end at any moment, I was afraid of the future, I started to question my feelings towards him, and lately I am scrutinizing my gestures and my behaviors when I am with him, believing that my feelings are not spontaneous. I don't know if mine is a rocd, but I know that I constantly think about these thoughts, sometimes they seem so real to me that I can't be productive in anything. sometimes I feel I love him, other times idk. I fall asleep and wake up with the same thoughts. when I am calm and without anxiety, I fall back into the vortex because I tell myself that if I have no anxiety, then it is all true. sorry for writing so much. I wanted to share my story. I am not very good with English, I only get by with writing. Thank you and have a nice day