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Harm ocd hits hard... brain I think we need some time apart 🤦‍♂️ who else feels this 😔

You know how everything says “you can’t stop your thoughts”, but then everything also says “don’t ruminate or analyze or mentally check” and I’m like is that not all thinking??? How do I stop myself from thinking but also not stop myself from thinking??? I can’t tell what’s intentional thinking and what’s not! I’d like to sue my brain.

Ive had ocd for years they keep changing i used to do numbers even numbers then odd numbers then washing my hands now its harm ocd (and unplugging plugs but i didnt know that was a sign of ocd but when i do unplugg and plug in things i have to do it loads of times) i think about harming people and myself that i DO NOT want to do and i hate it it tortures me i have to think "f*** off (my name) no your not no you dont shut up (my name) no your not no you dont" i have to walk over or past things alot of times becsuse it "slits my wrists" or "slits my neck" and i dont want that to happen so i do the things and i even dont do school work because if i write things wrong i have to cross and cross things out and write them loads of times just to cross them out again and put loads of dots and underline things loads of times and sometimes i cant even put my hand on the paper because its "slitting my wrists" or "slitting my neck" and i dont want to put my self under that much stress so sometimes i just dont do it so i dont get stressed but sometimes i get stressed and carry on and then takes ages to stop and when i stop i dont want to start again incase it starts again and i get shouted at by my teachers for not doing any work most of the time the teachers dont notice that ive done none or not much but then they dont notice me crying over it anyway the worse part is mental health day or when they talk about mental health because all they talk about is depression i know depression is bad but why cant you talk about other things like ocd like eating disorders why cant you just talk about the problems im facing and what other people are facing instead of depression all the time ive told teachers about this my old head of year i told her more than ive told any other teacher more than ive told any one i think actually but theyre no help ive never been to a therapist or whatever you have for things like this i really want to go to one because i think i need one but i feel really awkward talking about things like normal things like underwear and puberty and mental health Ive never actually been told i have ocd I have never been to a doctors or anything I've been reading things about adhd and now i have a feeling i might have that but at the same time i have a feeling i dont have that I also feel like ive gave ocd to my friend because she used to copy me doing things and she told me that she still does them sometimes Thankyou for reading xx

There are several things I've done in the past with the same gender and I never questioned my sexuality it kind of just happened, but I considered myself straight and also liked and wanted to be with guys...but now looking back I wish those things didn't happen, I question why I did them and I feel like I'm trying to convince myself that I'm not bi/gay...and now I wonder if I'm really suffering from hocd or if I'm in denial. Can anyone relate or help?

I have ROCD...does anyone else ever feel like they’re constantly checking their surroundings to see if there’s a pretty girl your Bf or husband could be looking at? I can’t go anywhere Without doing this.

Hi guys I need some help. My OCD has kept me at a standstill. I watched so many videos on OCD recovery and I think I made a theme of ocd around recovery like ‘am I doing this right’ or ‘I think you did that technique wrong’. I then tried to stop obsessing so much but then I know OCD compulsions fuel OCD and became terrified of doing compulsions. Like I would be talking to my brother and my OCD would say this is a compulsion. I then grew a fear I was doing compulsions and when I tried to fix it my OCD theme about recovery would kick in saying I should not be trying to recover so much because I then won’t recover. Does this make sense?? I feel so stuck on what to do

Hi, everyone! I have my first appointment scheduled with a NOCD therapist next week and will be discussing this with her, but until then, I wanted to see if anyone else could relate to this summary of my OCD experience: _____________ I am constantly worried that I’m doing or have done something wrong and that I need to do the “right thing” about it, or that there’s something wrong with me. It’s mostly sexual obsessions, but even contamination obsessions, and they are all connected by the same theme: morality, and the fear that I’m doing something wrong and I need to do the “right thing” about it. I am constantly, wildly overanalyzing everything I do or think or feel, and I think almost everything I’m doing is wrong, or that there’s something morally or sexually wrong with me, and that I desperately need to do the “right thing” about it. My compulsions are to overanalyze my concerns to determine whether or not to do a specific “right thing”, or explain everything to my parents to gain reassurance on whether or not I’m okay. I’ve done this hundreds upon hundreds of times, but my brain is never satisfied with their answers. It always overanalyzes their answers or finds different pieces of logic or factors that play in and evidence that I think really does mean that I’m doing tons of things wrong. To me, my logic and evidence make totally perfect sense that I am doing something wrong, but when I do my compulsions and explain everything to my parents and get reassurance, they say it’s just fine and it’s just OCD. I can’t tell what’s OCD and what’s not. Because of all this, I constantly feel guilt and anxiety and a horrible “something is wrong” feeling so strongly that I can’t enjoy my life anymore. But I know that doing my compulsions never ends; it’s an endless cycle. I try to do ERP as much as I can and not do my compulsions, but I get stuck in panic, wondering if some obsessions are NOT actually OCD, because my logic makes perfect sense that I am doing something wrong and I need to do the “right thing”. But asking my parents to correct my logic is just keeping the compulsion cycle going and because of my over-analyzation, my brain is never satisfied and it never ends. ______________ So that’s my summary that I’m sharing with my NOCD therapist next week. I was wondering if anyone else can relate? It’s not intrusive thoughts that bother me. It’s my own logic. To me, my logic makes perfect sense that I am doing something wrong but when I explain to my parents, they say it’s just OCD. Therefore it’s a LOT harder for me to do ERP — if I knew it was just OCD, it would be easier to resist compulsions! But because my logic makes perfect sense that I AM doing something wrong and that it’s not OCD, it is SO much harder to do ERP, because I would never in a million years want to do something morally wrong or not dk the morally right thing. I can’t tell what’s OCD and what’s not, but trying to fix my logic is an endless cycle of analyzation (and a reassurance compulsion). Can anyone relate and does anyone have advice? (And yes I am religious, that is why my morals are important to me :))

Does anyone else feel like there mind is trying to make them something they dont want to be ? 😥

I get concerned (not really anxious right now) that I’m not really sexually attracted to my husband. I get caught up on something I heard someone say on a podcast, that she always felt like sex was a chore, something to do to keep the relationship working, like changing oil in a car. That bothered me because I sometimes feel like I’m not always totally into it. Like I enjoy it, but maybe it doesn’t give me the same feeling. And at first it caused intense distress, but now that OCD isn’t as dominant (still there just clucking away in the background), it just makes me feel... concerned that it’s because I’m gay. And that I would feel much more stronger sexual feelings if I was with a woman. It’s this nagging in the background that can really pull me in if I’m not consciously trying to aviod doing mental compulsions and ruminations. I’ve really avoided this thought and having to deal with it. I just push it down. And I also get concerned that because it’s just there and not causing intense anxiety that it’s the truth. That I got scared to confess, which I know is an OCD compulsion, and I’m not doing that so it must be more true than the others. That because I’ll try to deal with other OCD things first and this one is too deep and too true to deal with. I’ve probably tried to write this a handful of times, but I wanted to just not deal with it. Like denial. Just pushing it away. I don’t even know what I want out of this. I guess it is a sort of compulsion maybe. I don’t know. I guess I’m looking for reassurance, so please don’t do that. Maybe someone can give me ideas on ways to approach this. I just want to feel sexually alive, but I’m scared to feel that incase it becomes blatantly clear that women do that for me, instead of my husband whom I love to pieces.

I wish I just let the first worry pass. Instead I feel like overthinking this whole thing has taken my straightness away. I don't feel the same with my boyfriend or about boys but I also know I don't like the other thoughts but this makes me feel like I do sometimes but I don't.

Is there a way we can just train our brains to forget particular thoughts?

I’M PROUD OF YOU! Hey everybody! I’m new on this app. Starting treatment tomorrow and I’m super excited. Just wanted to say I’m SO proud of everybody for being here and getting help and being so strong. There is always light at the end of the tunnel and it’s so awesome we’re all connected and being proactive - that’s the most amazing step. I’m 20 years old, love rap music, writing, basketball, sneakers, and would love to connect if anybody wants to talk, meet a new friend, or somebody to listen! OCD-wise... I suffer from somatic, religion/spirituality, relationship (I have a girlfriend), and in my early teen years POCD & harm OCD. So, if you need to talk or want to share thoughts or anything really, drop a comment or friend request and let’s connect.

This app can be extremely counterproductive for people with SOOCD. Not the app itself, but the community. I have been in the position where I posted constantly looking for “clarification” (cough cough reassurance) about my sexuality in terms of porn, nudes, whatever, all day and night. It’s incredibly unhealthy. I urge you, listen to the app when it tells you you’ve already posted 4x in 24 hours and it’s becoming a compulsion. Using this app to post every fear and thought I’ve had about my sexuality is no better than reddit or quora and certainly only reinforced my ocd. Take care of yourself and realize when it’s time to delete the app or take a vacation. This comes from a place of love, you will not get better using this app as a crutch.

Ocd about hitting someone while driving and not realizing? And guilt over being a distracted driver (I changed the radio while driving many times). Any ever have this? I want to go back to the street I was driving on to make sure no one is hurt

I'm really trying to be less obsessive... wish me luck... This illness sucks 🤦‍♂️

I feel like my neighbors have been taught what to do smh haha. Go from having the wife looking at me to then the husband to create the illusion of gay thoughts coming in after thinking about sex with a chick and vice versa. They’ve probably looked at me at the same time too. Like no thought I get while chilling in my bed isn’t anything new I haven’t seen. I wouldn’t even know how to check for anything afterwards. All these thoughts are thoughts.

I don’t know how to battle this. I don’t feel like I’m having “intrusive thoughts” like everyone else. I definitely have normal intrusive thoughts like with harm ocd and sexually intrusive thoughts, but with what I’m struggling with right now, it feels like I’m just always thinking about this stuff and it’s always there and when I’m “triggered” (which is by almost everything), I don’t have an intrusive thought I just get a bad feeling and then that leads me to look for the fears. I don’t know how to stop compulsions when I can’t identify an intrusive thought. Cause it’s like I just keep it there all the time and when I become aware of the absence of anxiety, I feel uneasy so I think I have to bring it back. And I’m always afraid I don’t have compulsions. I’m always afraid this isn’t OCD. My biggest obsession is that I don’t have OCD and if I don’t have OCD and I don’t have compulsions and I don’t feel anxious, then I am in denial and what I fear is going to come true. There is evidence that it’s just me. That I really do want it or even if I don’t want it, I’m just denying it because I’m afraid even though I have to do it. I hate when things say “your ocd isn’t aligned with your morals” or something like that. Cause I don’t know how to interpret that when it comes to what I’m afraid of. My primary doctor asked me “when you think of these things, do you think it’s rational or irrational?” and I want it to be completely irrational, but I know there’s a lot of people who would say it’s rational. I remember the first time the fear became real to me, it was a combination of two different fears and the one fear was probably an intrusive thought and maybe that’s what set everything off. But I got over that fear because the other fear seemed more realistic and plausible. But I can’t remember if that was an intrusive thought??? I know I’d been angry before and when my mom had asked me “what are you going to disown us?” and I had shouted back “maybe I will!”, but I didn’t mean it. Or maybe I did. I don’t know. Maybe I did mean it. My mind is always thinking of reasons why this is going to happen or why I have to do it and some of these reasons seem rational or valid idk anymore. I just don’t know how to fight this when I can’t tell what’s a compulsion or if I’m even doing compulsions. I can’t tell when an intrusive thought is intrusive or it’s just me bringing it up. I can’t tell anything anymore because it doesn’t feel like I’m having intrusive thoughts or that I even have OCD. I feel so alone cause no one’s thoughts are like this. I feel so alone cause no one really knows what’s going on in my head and how do I stop compulsions if everything and nothing feels like a compulsion?

This isnt exactly OCD related, but you guys are the best with advice so if someone could help me with this itd be much appreciated! I've been with my bf for a year, and I dont wanna be with him anymore. He doesnt help me with my OCD much, he doesnt have similar morals to me, and he acts like one of "the boys 🥶‼." Its getting exhausting, he's not what I want anymore. It feels like he's holding me back from what I want, not that he is, I would just feel more free being single. Hes nice, but not what I want anymore. I've been feeling like this since March, and I've attempted to break up with him but he wont accept that I want to. I've told him what I get offended by of what he does and he argues with me about it. I told him about my OCD and he said it happens to everyone. I dread talking to him, and calling him gets really tiring. Almost always after I talk to him I have a new worry. I just want to leave him but it's like he wont let me. I want to be free you know. Hes sweet, but he doesnt take into account how I feel. It makes me feel stupid for saying this because I imagined a whole life with him, but now I just wanna be single again. If we could stay friends it would be so much better, I hate feeling tied to him you know. Any advice? I dont want to hurt him, I just wanna be myself again.

Does anyone else’s hocd make you feel like your sad your not with the same gender? Im the only single one in my friend group cause the one guy i love and want doesn’t want me and im sad about it And im scared im convincing myself ti be sad about it and like him And now im just saying im sad because i cant be with a girl but i dont wanna be with a girl And i feel like i wanna and am just repressing it but i truly dont :(

I cant carry on with my life until this is gone