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the NOCD Community

Does anybody know what do when you’re stuck?

Has anyone wiped away bleach with other types of cleaners or used them at the same time and then worried about it causing toxic chemical fumes or scared of combing two chemicals by accident? I’ve never had this ocd fear but since spilling bleach and cleaning the area after wiping with a towel with other cleaners, I’m paranoid and scared to go into my apartment. :(

I’m so scared because some clorox bleach from my laundry dripped and spilled out the bottle onto my hands and the floor. It was on the floor and I used my swifer wet jet cleaner over it. Now I see the wet jet cleaner has Didecyl Dimethyl Ammonium Chloride and youre not supposed to mix ammonia with bleach. Now I’m scared of the chemical fumes in my apartment and that it’s dangerous

Can someone with sexual orientation ocd explain a little to me? I know what it is but my confusion is like... What's wrong with the possibility of being gay? What's scary about it? I'm someone who's ok dating both men and women and seeing people on here being terrified of the possibility kind of hurts? Some people even seem to get arousal responses, and I'm so confused as to why they have to fight it??

What have you all named your OCD? I’ve called it the OCDemon, the Worry Monster, the Assassin (this was in reference to the Rurouni Kenshin manga), and more recently, Bobert. For those who aren’t familiar, the principle behind naming your OCD is to help externalize the experience. Personally, a major part of my recovery has been learning to accept that there are so many things that go on in my brain that, while they show up in my conscious thought, are not under my conscious control...or, won’t come under my conscious control just because I feel they ought to, but will require a lot of concerted and targeted effort on my part. (Intrusive thoughts fall into the former category; changing my fear response from Flight/Freeze/Fawn to Respond Constructively *might* be part of the latter; I’m experimenting with this.) Conceptualizing OCD as a whole other person/presence—“an obnoxious teenager talking shit over Xbox Live” is the way someone on tumblr put it—can (eventually; it takes awhile) go a long way in sucking the fear and therefore the power out of the experience of intrusive thoughts.

How do you guys deal with your ocd in the workplace? Does it affect you at all?

I'm not sure if I have OCD. I wasn't diagnosed with it. But I really think I do bc of my actions and thoughts. My mind tells me that I need to organize everything I possibly can. Most of my day is of me organizing something. And I will worry about it so much, that I sometimes forget to do other things that are more important like eat or shower. It stresses me out and I feel it's taking over my life. Im not able to do the things I need to take care of myself sometimes. And it drives me nuts when I have to stop organizing wen my mom needs me in the room to help with the kids or something. I've had bad luck on finding a good therapist in the past. I'm going to try to find one soon, hopefully.

Man how can people go about their lives having OCD? I would understand if you don’t have an arousal feeling from people looking at you but unfortunately that’s what I’m faced with. Taking an antidepressant and antipsychotic doesn’t take away my arousal feeling. I keep telling my therapist is cuz I’m not able to have sexual thoughts like regular cuz I have weird images or thoughts that pop up with women which is causing my arousal feeling to be exacerbated but I don’t know what to do on the daily. How can I wake up and eat healthy, workout, go to work, have a little bit fun while feeling all this. How am I supposed to have real connections with women if this is what’s wrong with me. I’m not going to keep acting like everything is ok cuz it’s not. Please tell me there’s some genius on here as to how to get health insurance right now to leave to a treatment facility so I can get the 24/7 care I need.

It’s been so difficult dealing with my hypochondria today. After I found out that Chadwick Boseman died of cancer (which, Rest In Peace, I loved him) my anxiety has spiked and I can’t stop thinking about if I have it too. I’ve posted on here about the bump I found on my vulva that’s really under the skin and hard, but I’ve always felt like something is wrong down there and now I’m really nervous but I don’t wanna ask for reassurance or compulsively schedule a dr appt because I told myself I’d wait 1-2 months but god I feel like I need to see a gyno or something just to make sure everything is okay because I’m so scared that I have cancer and just don’t know about it. Anyone else feel this way too?

i’m suddenly stressed about something so stupid. i procrastinated on reading this book for an essay due tonight. so, i did the essay. but i used enotes and spark notes for the information, and found my own quotes from the book. i’m upset at myself for “lying” about doing it. i don’t know why i’m so upset at this, i mean, think of all the people who did the exact same thing!! and the people who cheat on EVERY assignment. i’m not even like that. i’ve been stressing out about lying recently. even though i’ve only “lied” 2x. one, was because it was something personal and i didn’t want to tell someone the truth.. now this. i mean, do i deserve to hate myself over this?!??

Even if I was one, which there is no proof that I am, I am still attracted to adults. No doubt. I could still find happiness and satisfaction with someone my age. I know my OCD can't just up and leave, I can't just change how my brain developed, but I need to stop worrying about it. I know that's close to impossible without treatment (and trust me I WILL get treatment), but if I'm still content with adults exactly the same way before my pocd hit, then logical me doesn't find a problem. I just have to accept that this is OCD and it isn't me because six months ago this would have never been a problem. I know it might take even years to get through, but I can still find happiness. Even if I don't believe I can on my bad days. I've already hit rock bottom, the only way to go now is up.

Neuralink livestream scheduled from 3pm PT (6pm ET, 11pm GMT). https://youtu.be/sr8hzF3j2fo Neuralink, a BCI, is expected to be able to very effectively treat even treatment-resistant OCD and depression through inhibiting particular neurons from firing within 5 years or so. The great thing is that this is claim is one of the most highly plausible for this interface, working in a similar way to deep brain stimulation and transcranial magnetic stimulation, and will ultimately be a minimally invasive or noninvasive treatment. Anticipated highlights: - The first demonstration ever of neurons firing in real-time - Footage of a monkey controlling a computer or prosthesis using its mind (primary motor cortex- imagining movement) - Human trials announcement - Demonstration of the robot which currently performs the surgeries in animal subjects, using machine learning to avoid hitting any blood vessels entirely I'll be here for any discussion for several hours and to provide links and resources for any questions at the end of the event.

everything is ok then i suddenly think what if i have some object from my past i need to get rid of? what if there are still unwanted snaps in my snap memories? i need to check that rn to make sure. this happens so i make sure everything is in check n ok even tho i have checked it before..but i have forgotten things before i didn’t see or didn’t realize it fully yet to get rid of it. or just didnt rlly care till realizing how it was. (ik i do not need to get rid of stuff from my past (for example: a gift) but i feel like it makes me feel better) basically i feel ok. sometimes it’s cool sometimes my brains like no make sure. yk? idk if this is ocd but ya this happens to me.

So I’m new to this app and am really struggling in life right now. I have not been diagnosed with ocd (I am looking to be diagnosed but it’s hard with COVID around) or have had an experience of it since about 2 months ago when I think POCD started to happen. One day I had a random thought saying ‘what if you’re a pedophile?’ and literally had a panic attack from that one question. I never had any intrusive thoughts until after that one day. My mind was checking for a groinal response every-time I even looked at a child and now I can’t even look at a child without feeling anxiety and it’s so frustrating. I’ve never had thoughts like this before, every time I even look at a child and think ‘they are cute’ my mind asks if that’s actually attraction? I feel so guilty and anxious every time I even think about being a pedophile and I never in a million years would hurt a child. It’s like my brain is convincing me that I am one. Some days I reassure myself and think that it’s such a stupid thought to have. But others I feel genuinely like I’m a pedophile and it’s so scary. I went on holiday a few weeks later and suddenly my intrusive thoughts about children were gone and suddenly moved on to my sibling. This is what I kind of turn to when I think I’m a pedophile because I stopped obsessing about being a pedophile but turned to worrying that I was attracted to my sibling. I could openly think that a child was cute without overthinking about if I actually thought they were attractive. I’ve also noticed that my intrusive thoughts are more questioning about how I look at children and less actual sexual thoughts about children (I don’t know if that’s a thing with pocd). However after my holiday was over and I got home and saw my sibling less often pocd seemed to take its place entirely and worse than before. I’ve been home for about a week and honestly I’m at my lowest and if this is not ocd then I’m truly terrified. I would rather die than be a pedophile. Also thought I should mention that I obsessed for about 2 weeks that I wanted to be a man. It was very strange and I had never thought of it before and am very comfortable in my own body and my sexuality as a lesbian. Why I think I have ocd apart from the all the things I’ve said above is that as soon as I said “f*ck it, what if you want to be a man?” The thoughts never bothered me again. Due to be never being diagnosed with ocd, my thoughts terrify me and if I don’t have ocd then I honestly don’t know what I am going to do with myself. Any comments would be greatly appreciated and any advice until I get diagnosed? X

How do I not be anxious over a date ?? So I’ve never been in a long-term relationship because I was like “I don’t belong to any man I love being single” but that could easily have been a cover for being to anxious to date or having standards that were way too high I don’t know. I went out with a friend of mine for a month a couple years ago and while he was nice and everything I just panicked and broke up with him one day while I was on vacation because I felt like he was holding me back from living elsewhere or growing on my own because I assumed I’d have to bring him along with me (??) it was confusing but I think I was just scared to be in a relationship. Now fast forward 2 years and I finally felt ready to date like at the beginning of this year one of my resolutions was to start dating I felt it was time. Then covid hit so that messed everything up and I left it alone. Anyways there was this one guy friend of mine I met back in college who I liked at the time but didn’t pursue anything with because I was nervous. We fell out of touch but I found him on Facebook later on and we reconnected. For the past year or so we’d just Snapchat each other but that was it, no deeper discussion. The last time I saw him in person too was last summer because he lives in another city for school. So the other day I was snapping him and I’m gonna be honest it was late night and I was feeling him so I was flirting with him but it was one of those things where you flirt and then the next day you kinda move on from it, even though I do find him attractive but again I think it’s my fear of getting more serious. He asked for my number because this whole time we never had each other’s numbers just social media, so I gave it to him and we chatted for a day and now today first thing he asks is if I’d like to go on a date with him in the near future and I said sure. But now I’m freaking out haha. Like I said he’s attractive and friendly and cool but I also don’t think we have that much in common so I keep going back to what I’d ideally like in a guy and what he doesn’t have so I feel like it couldn’t go long term, but at the same time it’s just one date like we could easily have the date or two and just decide it isn’t gonna work out..? As you guys can see I’m way overthinking this hahaha. Can I get some advice on this please? I feel like I’m too old to be going all over the place with this (I’m 24) but I’m still inexperienced when it comes to actual relationships and dating

I’m struggling with my real event/false memory ocd right now over the same damn event I’ve talked about on here forever. I have so much anxiety and guilt about it. Every time I start to feel better I get back in my head about it and find a new detail to obsess on that doesn’t sit well with me. I was doing so good for a couple of days and now I feel like I’m right back to square one...

I think I’m at a point where I can no longer be helped. My thoughts seem too convincing, I can’t talk to anyone in my life about them. I feel like I’m going to be stuck with this mindset for the rest of life and I’m just going to continue to get crazier. I’m too afraid to interact with people irl because I’m afraid they’ll notice something is up, or that I’ll get thoughts. Almost my whole life is being consumed by these thoughts, I noticed a lot of things that used to keep track of in my day to day life I’ve completely forgot about. I’m worried if I see a therapist I’ll get misdiagnosed and only get worse. Everytime I try to remind myself of old morals my mind tells me that I was only being brainwashed and that I’m trying to brainwash myself again. It feels like I don’t even want to go back to my old life, it feels like I only want to follow these thoughts and see where they lead me and it sucks that I predicted all of this would happen. That my mind would come up with more unwanted stuff and I’d forget about everything I’ve ever cared about and become lost in confusion. I think I’d rather see someone in person than online, but I’m not sure about the therapists in my area or if they’ve ever even seen anything like what I’m going through. I don’t even know if it’s ocd anymore, but I really wish I could get out of this. It feels like I’m getting worse everyday even though I know it’s just all in my head and I need to let it go and focus on real life but I can’t stop worrying about what’s in my mind and what happening to me and what’s going to happen.

Contamination anxiety playing up at the moment. My brother who is living with us at the moment refuses to brush his teeth, wash himself/his hair or change his clothes. He doesn’t take hand sanitiser out with him, he’s been meeting friends without a mask and he only washes his clothes like 1 every 8 weeks. To be frank he does not smell good. It makes me so anxious, it makes me not want to be around him and it makes the rest of my family irritated too. We’ve tried talking to him but he says that it is our problem and that we should just get over ourselves, and that society is what makes us want to wash. I can’t tell whether my ocd and anxiety is being unreasonable or whether I am justified in my ill feeling. Not sure. Has anyone else got experience with this?

i'm very scared.. i feel like i can't take it.. i feel so hopeless. am i the only one that gets thoughts like " yeah you are attracted to that child" or sometimes i feel like i can't control myself but, something tells me it's just that my thoughts are so hard that i feel as if i can't. i'm very scared though.. i'm literally so young , 18 to be exact, i feel like i can't control this POCD, i'm planning on ending my life on september, i cant anymore. i get scared ill act on my intrusive thoughts

*Recovery Inspiration* Hi everyone, I hope you’re all doing as well as possible during these difficult times. I have decided to share my success story so far. Bare in mind, I’m not fully recovered yet but definitely on the road to it (maybe 75%) recovered. Therefore, I just want to pass on some inspiration and words of advice from my journey of Pure OCD. I found it all started during quarantine maybe because we started to overthink too much when we had too much time and stress on our hands. I felt awful because at the start of this year, I was at my happiest. I literally thought life couldn’t get any better. However, that soon changed when the OCD and anxiety kicked in. This was such a shock to the system because I went from one extreme to the other (My happiest to my saddest). I started doing my research online and learned this is just OCD and that your thoughts are just thoughts no matter how hard it may seem to recognise that. This gave me a great sense courage and massive relief. I learned in order to defeat this monster, I must be hungry for success and I’m sorry to say it but by nature, I am quite blunt, you have to grow a pair of b***s. Don’t get me wrong, I did dwell on my thoughts for many weeks, had breakdowns, do compulsions and ruminate etc. I’ve had urges, sensations, false attractions, guilt, shame, feeling of numbness and being emotionless. Basically all the usual symptoms of OCD trying to scare you. I’ve been going through depersonalisation/derealization too because of OCD but I don’t care anymore because I know this will pass too and is just a protection mechanism sent from my brain. Finally, once I started to stop fighting the thoughts and let them flow without giving them attention, they started to lessen and lessen. At this stage now, I finally understand this is just my OCD talking, NOT me. See OCD is essentially a bully, it will try convince and manipulate you into believing the thoughts it sends you. The bully craves attention and will feed off reactions which is why you must limit your reactions. I have being taken Prozac since June which has been a massive help in reducing my anxiety so it can allow me focus more on doing ERP work. I haven’t had any therapy because unfortunately I couldn’t find any OCD specialist where I live. I’m sure therapy is great and I would advise it if it’s available for you but the more and more I think about it, it’s up to us at the end of the day to make the change, not a therapist. They will provide you all the skills and tips to recover but it’s up to you to implement them. So guys I wish you all the very best in your recovery. I promise things will get better once you take the steps towards getting better and more importantly, you yes YOU deserve to get better. Don’t mind OCD doubting you. It is the doubting disease after all. People with OCD are the total opposite of their thoughts, they are good people. That’s the reason why we worry so much because we’re more sensitive and against our thoughts. Don’t hold off until tomorrow either to make a change. Start today so that you’re one day closer to living your normal life again. Good luck.