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I don’t really know what to do when I try to explain to someone that I have ocd and then they laugh and say, “but your room is so messy” any suggestions? I’ve tried explaining but they don’t seem to listen...

Hey guys, I’m new to this app and honestly at my lowest point possible. I realized my OCD variates on different topics through out the years and comes in waves. I would say the most distressing for me is POCD, I’ve completely isolated myself and don’t know what else to do. Has medication helped any of you manage the intrusive thoughts ? Thanks..

Vent warning cos my hearts hurting as I observe my world of family: I don't care who's at fault. The one parent escalating the hate relationship further between [my] parents need to stop. One of my parents is deeply shattered and feeling hopeless... in having custody of my little brother. My other parent is suing for custody. Stop it! You're legit killing each other. Is it weird to think that I could've forseen these years of struggle in family? I'm 19 and when I was 11 I dreamt my family separated. My parents hurt each other, they died, and it was just me and my little brother truly alone. I was barely an adult, he had to be homeschooled as I worked. I could only afford a small house somewhere. Then one day he was taken from me. I fell into a state of no emotions. Then I lived with my best friend and her family. I met someone. Fell in love. Bff married. I joined the navy, became a pilot and some specific kind of analyst. Then I married. My love was of military or army. (A few yrs later I had the same end of the dream but it like resumed to a new dream... it felt like real years.) I had a kid while he was deployed elsewhere. Then soon later I was taken from my home, my baby left alone, the house on fire. My other bff saved my child but I didn't know until 10 yrs and 4months later when I escaped from captivity and finally found them. I was so torn yet happy to meet my baby all grown up, kind and beautiful. My other bff found me, created a way for me to escape the torturous place. Two things kept me going in that long dream: a young man knew what was going wrong and treated me with kindness when I was held against my will. And one day holding my child and seeing my childs eyes again helped me through. I was held because I had information "higher power" people wanted and I was the only one who had the knowledge of what they wanted. I knew several languages... and never told them a single true thing or anything that would harm another person. They searched for my friend and child, always told me how they suffered and died. But I knew they were lying. Yet it still hurt. When I escaped, the man who helped me died for me. I lost him and he was only a kid. A good person! And I finally found a way to where I thought I'd find my friend and child. And those 4 months of escape I finally found them. I was finally safe. I was held tight by my loved ones, and I held my child again. I woke the next day In The Dream, the sun was just barely rising. I had a warm drink in hand. I was bruised and broken, happy, safe... and a weapon beside my hip. I stood outside closed my eyes and spoke... "Whatever it takes. I will always protect those I love. I am alive, I am hurt, yet here I stand immovable." I am a friend. There I was a mother. I am a warrior and overcomer. There I was a warrior and surviver. I have a story to share right now and every day. And there, too, in the dreams I was a story. A dream, but a story nonetheless. My point: I believe/d dreams can or could come true. Everything has made sense so far. I am afraid, yet I know I can be stronger for whatever coming my way. All I want truly is for my parents to quit screwing each others lives. Someone is going to get seriously hurt or worse. I want to help them go another direction, find a way to forgive each other for whatever happening now and for whatever happened in the past. It's DIFFICULT to forgive I KNOW. That doesn't mean that their actions towards each other can keep happening. It's not RIGHT. I want to help but I also don't know what else to do at the same time I want to take my brother with me and leave our parents to figure stuff out but I know that's a bad idea so, I think about just leaving them all even though running is a bad idea. But everytime they fought since I was 6, I wanted to run away. Idc what the root of it is even though I should find it out and help remedy the problem and make a solution but are my parents problems truly become my own to solve? I'm a kid still! I worry for the OVERALL safety of all four of us individually, and I want us to care for each other but come on! What's with this habitual, endless circle of same/ similar actions and words? Only it's escalating every year! They're divorced for 3yrs now. Who cares! The problem is their current moods towards each other and actions and bad-idea-future-intentions towards each other that'll make things worse and escalate even further! Thank you for letting me vent and sharing helps not let shatter what's left of my heart about my parents and family overall, moreso the safety and happiness of my little brother. He's my constants. I look out for him and in a way that helps me have courage to look out for myself. If he's not happy, I won't stop looking to find happiness. If he's not safe, no one is. I won't hurt anyone. But man will my loved ones hear words from me they've never heard before. Just be kind yaknow? What does it take to just........ find some peace and let go. Each of us has a choice in whether to be happy or no. Each of us has a choice in doing something or nothing. Accept what cannot be changed, right? Well if there is a way, then find that way, know the way, and help others see that way also. I want to let go and move on from finding a way to help my parents care and forgive each other, yet that feeling of knowing there is a way is too strong. Every time I jump that ship, the water rises and carries me back... every time. Every. Time. I want to move on. Is that bad? Or is it also bad that I still want to help, even though my body wants to run, yet my heart and mind know there may be a way to all of us to get along again. Okay. Timer's going off. Laaate dinner. Thank you for reading this. It means a lot. I may have caused some unnecessary stress, but any kind words will help me feel anything other than utter sadness. Much Love to you ♡ thank you for your help :)

How do you recover when OCD attacks your own recovery? At this point I don't know what's OCD and what's recovery. It's gone meta. And I'm trying to hold out, trying to just sit with these feelings, but I'm going insane. I desperately need to find a therapist soon who gets it.

I feel like if there was a naked man and a naked woman infront of me right now, I’d be more turned on by the woman 😣😣😣 I know I’d rather have sex and be in a relationship with a man. But I fear I’m just telling myself that.

I know maybe it's not a place for this... but I really need help or just some virtual hugs: My parents.. my dad is suing my mom for full custody of my little brother. My dad has reasons, and my mom has reasons to be upset. I can't tell exactly what's going on but all I know is that their bad relationship kept escalating since the divorced three yrs ago. I've JUST turned 19 and they're still not getting along whatsoever which Whatever. I've done my bit in trying to help them be friends somehow for so long, but nevermind now. If my brother is in any way mentally, emotionally, spiritually (etc) more depressed by our parents actions and words, I have so many reasons to find a way to just have custody of him. My parents won't quit. And It's making my heart break. I just feel so shattered. Idc that they are divorced. I have overcome that. But the fact they hate each other more is beyond a shattered heart. My brother is not an excuse to lash back at each other. I have worked so hard to move away from self harm or worse. I will nOt see my brother suffer similar/same/or worse days than me. If I have custody of him somehow, will that help my parents "case"? Or am I now just another escalating-livid-jerk...? Are my intentions going to hurt my brother more than what is presently going on with my parents? Idk anything anymore. It's always been him and I.... on our own. Helping each other find reasons to love the world the way we see it right now. I'm done with my parents. I love them greater than their hatred, and I choose to step away because I want to protect my view of what my future love life will be like. And I choose to hope to be a better loving example, than my parents unchanging habits, for my little brother.. show a way for him to be a better person for his future love and family.

Hey everyone! I just have a curious question. When you started taking the right meds, what did you start to notice? Were you having less intrusive thoughts? Or the same amount but not as much anxiety? I'm just very curious on how medication actual effects you! I might have to start it and I'm a little nervous.

I'm ruining my relationship. My boyfriend and i were not having talk about my thoughts because he thinks it's a compulsion so he tried to stop them but not telling anyone my thoughts made me feel numb and empty from inside. But i told him yesterday that we are not talking about this and this is making me feel like this. We had a discussion but he said if i want to leave i should let him know and not let his life hanging. But this is not what i want. i want him. I don't know why he told so. He tells me you cannot stay positive for a day what to expect from you. I always did 100% for my relationship,I'm not able to do now. It's not easy for me. I know i want him but idk why I'm afraid to love him. Why ocd attacked my relationship. I've never wanted anyone else other than him. My thoughts tell me that i want someone else but i really don't want it. I want a life with my bf but I'm scared if i want it or not. I never wanted to hurt him. My only fear is because I'm not feeling this way and if i chose him i would never make him happy and ruin his life. He loves me so much. He motivates me but i don't listen to him. I cried yesterday so much. He hates when i cry. He tells if it would make everything alright i would also cry. What do i do so that my relationship becomes good like before. I want everything to get right but I'm afraid if i want it or not. I only have him who understands me and loves me. I don't want to lose him. I don't know what trauma I've which led to ROCD but i literally don't want to lose him. I want to marry him. My thoughts tell me I've never loved him because i don't have the will power to face my fears. Please help me. I don't want to leave him. My thoughts are telling me i want to leave but i don't. I am really hopeless now because he said to tell if i want to leave. I only knew he understands me but i feel like he is also doubting me but also this is not so. He even told after that don't fight with your thoughts just love me. I don't like it when you cry. Why cannot i see this. He is a very good man. I've always wanted him. Why am i doubting myself and scared to live him. I really want to get better now. I cannot handle this. I'm just crying while writing this. My relationship was going so good. I destroyed everything. I just want this relationship to work. I don't want anything else. Please help me.

Anyone with real event OCD that just can’t get out of it? It seems as if it grabs onto something different every single time and it’s just a never ending cycle of worrying. So draining.

My only task at the moment is to write an essay for my university course. A never ending cycle of rewriting, rethinking, restarting. I desperately want to work through the noise and finish. Any tips from fellow students would be most appreciated.

One day I’m fine, and then the next I get hopeless with suicidal thoughts. This pandemic is really causing me some cabin fever!! The same routine everyday. No car in the suburbs just relying on my moms car when it’s available. Working from home in my bed because the other rooms in the townhouse are loud. What a depressing life.

Hello everyone. Happy to be here. I suffer from GAD and possibly pure OCD. Lately I can't seem to get over the fact I snooped through my partner's stuff when we first started dating and read something I shouldn't have. It happened years ago and for years I never even thought of doing that. I went through therapy for similar but also unrelated issues and started feeling more confident in myself. I am a good partner now. But the pandemic is getting the best of me. Something triggered me the other week and now the guilt has been consuming me for some reason.it is far from being the only thing from my distant past that I feel guilty about. I decided I won't try and rationalize it anymore. I did a shitty thing. And damn right I wont do it again. Also just felt like telling someone.

Has anyone ever had an OCD spike/compulsion that caused so much anxiety that virtually all other spikes experienced that same day pale in comparison? So much that when those other less important spikes occur you don’t even feel the need to perform the normally occurring corresponding compulsions that accompany them.

No pressure to answer but what countries does everyone come from?

Will this program get rid of my thoughts? Reducing anxiety and ocd isn’t enough for me. I need these thoughts to go away completely. Am I doomed?

Hello everyone. (tw: break-up) I’m new to this community and not officially diagnosed with ROCD. But, I’ve read the symptoms and signs and it’s like they have put into words what I’ve been struggling to understand with myself every time I am thinking or feeling those thoughts. Unfortunately, I found out about ROCD too late and broke up with my SO because I wanted the thoughts and anxiety to stop. I found out what ROCD is 3 days after the break-up and by then, he and I already agreed that we’ll work on ourselves first before we give it another shot. Now, I really want to get better. But my problem is that my triggers are connected to my SO. We aren’t talking as of the moment, so I don’t know how I will expose myself to my triggers if I’m currently not in a relationship. If anyone can help me, I would be forever grateful. By the way, I’m also not in the US so I can’t access the free therapy. Mental health is also stigmatized here, and my family doesn’t believe in mental health issues and I’m still dependent on them that’s why I can’t get professional help. Keep safe, everyone! 🌻💝

my existential ocd gets very detailed...usually when I haven't been existentially obsessed I would be good at making up things about life and death to comfort me like if friends casually talked about death and like cremation vs burial stuff I would always joke about oh I'm going to get frozen so that way I don't have to die and people would laugh and it would comfort me that I could pretend death isn't going to happen to me and now my existential ocd is back but normally I could come up with jokes or something to delude myself and be like you don't know if you're going to die Elon Musk could find the pill for immortality tomorrow and you live on Mars you don't know what will happen but I just can't comfort myself in that way anymore or right now even as a dumb joke because my brain keeps saying death is real its inescapable and it will come for you and if I let the thoughts run off on their own then I even start to imagine the day i will die not like what will happen but I just visualize myself on my death bed old and gasping for air and realizing that this is the end life is over and like how did I get here in the first place why are we born into this world to love our family and friends so much just to be deleted. It's like you are in this movie and as one of the characters you don't know it's a movie you dont know there will be end credits at any point you are just playing out the story, but I feel like one of the characters who realized the end credits are coming and there is nothing I can do about it and therefore it's hard to watch anything lately where my mind doesnt say yeah that actor is dead, or that actor will die, and so will I, and even animated movies with death I am avoiding which I know I should stop doing and expose myself more. But it doesn't even have to be shows about death if I see a show about a family and people who love each other my brain is like yeah they will all be dead one day and forgotten... In the future this show will be one of trillions of tv shows from my time that no one will watch and me and my time on this earth will be a blip on a huge never ending universal existence. And usually it's at night when I am alone that I get the most scared and it's really hard to be mindful and present and tell myself you aren't there yet stop going there.

I’m so afraid of getting cancer. I’ve been to the doctor so many times for false alarms, it’s starting to cost so much money. I hate this subtype of OCD. I’m hyper-focused on small pains in my body and I always make them out to be much more than they are. Literally the past few days I had a pressure headache and I was convinced it was brain cancer. This is ridiculous. I don’t know where to begin with ERP for this type of OCD. My compulsion is going to the doctor and that’s becoming a very expensive compulsion... My other compulsion is googling my symptoms, which always freaks me out cause every symptom means “cancer” according to google.

I THINK I REMEMBERED I WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH A MALE FUCK MY LIFE LITERALLY I- do not want to live.

Experiencing cannibalism ocd thoughts, it made my mouth water or salivate and my stomach a sensation of "hunger" but it is just OCD trying to scare me Does anyone else having these thoughts?