Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Can I be turned on by women more than men in erotica(and like naked women, I.e. breasts) and still be attracted to men/be okay with my husband?? I cannot let this go. I know this teeters on reassurance but I just got out of surgery and I’m trying to get better but this is ruining me.

I find it interesting how well we can hide ocd despite how intense it feels. It feels like its burning up our entire world and yet... Last night I asked my husband if he has noticed that cipralex is making a difference in me (been on it nearly 4 weeks now). And he said a little yeah. Meanwhile I've felt it's made a huge difference. I'd say my ruminating is down by 50-60%. But he didnt always know when I was ruminating. I was also hiding a lot of my compulsions from him. I'd wait until he left the room to go on sanitization sprees etc. Because I didnt want him to stop me or shame me. I also started my job 3 years ago and it was a BIG jump up. Like massive, I was so lucky to receive the job I have. I was truly not qualified just in the right spot at the right time. I admitted to my boss maybe a year or so in that I'm a really anxious person. She was shocked. She was like "what? You're so calm and everything always goes off without a hitch!" Which was me feigning confidence in meetings then ig insane overtime to make sure everything in my projects were perfect and crying in my office. I never thought I was fooling anyone. I always thought it was obvious but I'd continue until someone called me out. And no one ever did. Because I was so secretive.

My day was going okay but now I’m really anxious and want to cry :( I know they were trying to be positive but that post on my post sent me into a lot of distress . I know I’m still into guys I just don’t have feelings towards them rn . I just want to be my old boy crazy self :((

"Supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting." - Sun Tzu, The Art of War➡️ Maybe I'm taking this quote out of context, but I find it interesting that this aligns well with OCD treatment. Don't fight your thoughts. Not doing so is SUPREME EXCELLENCE ?!

I'm scared I'll always be like this. I am ruining my relationship. My boyfriend supports me and tells he is not irritated by me still i feel like he is getting irritated because I'm behaving like this. Why does OCD even exist ?. HOCD is even making me feel like i would like a girl. I'm very scared why are these thoughts getting so real. I'm seeing images of me kissing a girl i used to do with my boyfriend. I don't even know the reason why my ROCD and HOCD started. My relationship was going very well. I want my old days back. This lockdown ruined everything. I don't want to leave my bf but my thoughts keep telling me i don't love him and i want a break up with him but before these thoughts i was so sure i want him as my husband. I want to get well but I'm scared if i get well I'll stop loving him. I want to focus on my career but i feel like if i get a good job I'll become so proud of myself that I'll leave him and reject his marriage proposal. I was very good in studies but this ocd has made my life worst. ? I was a topper since my childhood but i cannot do anything now. My family even hates me. Only my bf loves me. I don't want to leave him. When will these thoughts go away. Will i ever recover. These thoughts keep shuffling. I just want my good old days with my bf back??

Just a vent but i deal with certain ocd themes and get anxiety over sexual intrusive thoughts But I heard research that it’s possible to have those if you have had any type of trauma and/or abuse in your life and I unfortunately cannot remember my past much so it’s very hazy I usually don’t like my bad thoughts bc they get in the way of my daily live so I can’t rlly dwell so much in the past

Guys, I'm at a breaking point. I don't know what to do anymore.

I think I am gay. I led on my husband.

How does OCD get in the way of living your life? What are some things you can do to drop the worries?

Has anyone who’ve experienced taboo based OCD have had triggering thoughts that were like “oh yeah you liked that” and than had an immense amount of anxiety come about? This happened to me a while back and I ended up in the hospital due to the panic and anxiety it produced. It led to constantly avoiding and checking to make sure I was okay. Of course it just blurred the lines more. Most days I am good but I just got diagnosed and all my old obsessions are coming up that I feel like I never properly dealt with. Almost like it wants me to question my diagnosis.

"...the more we value things outside our control, the less control we have." - Epictetus

I can’t stop fidgeting during my classes. any suggestions?

Hey guys what is your experience with Zoloft and weight gain?

...Any tips on boundary setting? I see hurting people and want to help them and next thing I know, I’m exhausted with no time left for myself.

Anyone else suffer with acne or trauma scars? I had perfect skin and then a few years ago a makeup counter used dirty brushes on my face and I got an impetigo staph infection all over my face and down my arm. After the open sores healed and the infection went away, I am left with a depressed white scar in my forehead where it started and a white raised one on my arm fold. Yes there is makeup but I’d like to feel good naturally again and white scars are usually permanent. I have dumped thousands into CO2 lasers, subsicion and peels, and currently waiting to heal after getting CO2 laser months ago to build up collagen in my scar. I don’t have confidence anymore like I used to. I don’t wanna have to go to the gym and beach with makeup on.

I guess this is kind of reassurance seeking, but I'm curious as to what is "normal" for non-contamination ocd people. Do you guys wash your hands after handling things in your house? After literally just stepping out of the shower, I just accidentally touched something I purchased today. Normally I would wash my hands, but my husband discouraged me from doing so because he knew it would start a spiral of still not feeling clean and wanting to wipe things down. So then I had to open my drawers, put on my pajamas, and get into bed/touch our clean bedding. I'm obviously veryyyy uncomfortable. Is this something that would even register as a red flag on anyone's radar? I know some people have taken to wiping groceries down during the pandemic, but that's not the concern in this case.

I took a psychopath checklist test and it said I had traits but am not a psychopath....still concerned about feeling empathy, guilt, remorse etc because of feeling so foggy and emtionally numb... I know it was a compulsion, I'm sorry..

let’s do something comforting! if you see this reply with a few things that make you feel a bit happy or safe

I was watching a dog movie and for some reason I felt uncomfortable?? Not super but it was an uneasy feeling like I thought the dogs were cute then “hey what if ur into dogs” BAM it hit me and then I had very little intrusive thoughts about it and BAM small groinal response and through the whole movie I still felt uneasy and I’m not freaking out so much about it?? But I am analyzing way to much

So I’m currently drinking accutane for my acne. And I’m literally worried that although it says having kids is safe after a month after using accutane; I’m worried that drinking accutane will affect my kids later. P.s accutane causes severe deformities in babies if accutane is consumed during the pregnancy or you become pregnant while drinking accutane. On top of the fact I have pocd and hocd I’m also really worried about having a child with a disorder.