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the NOCD Community

Don’t flag I need to rant or I’ll scream. Its so unfair to have to TRY to LEARN to be normal, (and it’s not even guaranteed) when other people are LITERALLY FUCKING BORN NOT OBSESSING If my life never improves/goes wrong I don’t honestly see the point I think it’s a waste of time trying to force myself to be normal

So, is anyone able to differentiate their conscience/gut/convictions from OCD?? I feel like I automatically get anxious when people talk about their gut or intuition cause I have no idea what is what!

Hi all... I’m not sure if this is the right place for me here... but I’m suffering... not because I have an OCD I’m here for my husband... who suffers from OCD ( I think) along with a lot of other traits... but it’s hard.. because he doesn’t admit he has a problem.. so obviously I’ve been suffering and been having major anxiety and depression... I’ve sought for help for myself only realise that the root of all my anxiety’s my husband’s behaviour.... I’m not saying I’m perfect... and I know I might not be welcome here because I don’t get OCD... but since my husband has too much of an ego to realise he needs help... I’m only looking for ways to cope from my end... this marriage is long lost in the endless fights we have but I’m too afraid to leave him... because I know he needs help.. n I want to help... also because he also obsesses about me... and I feel trapped...

"Question about pocd false memories" TW: pocd, false memories (23, F) Can they get much worse if you ruminate on them?? I found a document. An old document where I wrote my worries and real life events that I thought were meaningful for a diagnosis to whether I had a pocd or not. For those who know me, you know I've been struggling with a bad false memory about groping a child's butt while giving her a piggyback ride. Today it got much worse....... During that day, after the pool, she showed me her drawings and for some reason, I started to wonder if I got alone with the child during this time (I don't remember that. I think my friends were there the whole time But I also can't be sure because I don't remember leaving the room with them so I'm scared) and if I sexually assaulted her! I even got fuzzy images about it! What is wrong with me!! I know this is fake but I'm so anxious about it!! I just want to contact my friends and ask them if we were together the entire day but I'm afraid of what they'll think and I already asked so many questions about that day! But this child loved me! She thought I was sweet and fun!! She wouldn't have liked me if I had "hurt" her right?? I'm so desperate because I knew that if I continued to ruminate on this bullshit memory, I'd get burned but the other times I had false memories, I overcomed them by ruminate them and "attack" them with logic, If it makes sense!! I know I didn't do this! I'd remember! But I don't remember... I just have stupid images in my head. In the original document from like September or early October, I have wrote a little about this because at the time I didn't think this event was so important, except on the fact that it was the first time I had pocd thoughts. I will quote what I wrote back then: *"I remember one of the earliest events that made me scared was with a friend's sister... (I was almost 21) She was 8 (I think) and she was very sweet I just had weird thoughts. It weren't even images or anything! It was just... "am I p? Am I attracted to her?" I felt so bad but I tried to dismiss the thoughts... And have fun... I even played with her and talked with her! I always wanted to have a sister so this was like a opportunity to have a sister for a day... I now feel bad for playing with her but it wasnt to do anything weird. I truly tried to dismiss my thoughts and I felt bad through the entire day... But I wanted to actually fight them and do just innocent things with her. We played at the pool... And she showed me her toys and drawings... Like if she were my sister... I know this may sound weird but I promise I had the most innocent reasons... I would never do something that could harm a child."* I don't even mention the piggyback ride! (maybe I don't think it was important at the time and FYI the piggyback ride did happen! But the groping, I don't think so) I need help??? Or else I will kill myself. Im tired of this shit.

My insurance does not cover OCD therapy, what would I be looking as far as cost goes?

So, I have these sexualt thoughts that are usually about family members, they distress me and I don't know how to seek help. How to talk to my family about it?

Is this normal in pocd?? (23, F,) Like I was just watching a YouTube video and I got a recommendation of a 13 to girl coming out and I thoughr she was pretty and I immediately click the button to stop recommending the video because I felt "attracted" to her... I don't know how sexual attraction works but I felt so poorly because I know sexual attraction is wanting s-x with a person and I immediately asked myself that question and I know I'd never do but I didn't know if I wanted to. I don't want to have these feelings! I don't want to get involved with anyone, specially any minor. I don't! I don't want to! I want to cry because I feel like a p right now... And I want to die! I can't handle this pain anymore! This is too much to handle and I don't know what to do... I feel such an embarrassement to everyone... She's too young. She's a child... I want to cry so badly... Why did thishappened to me... no I can't live any longer. I'm not strong enough

30' of ERP today, the scenario was not able to make me feel anxious, just a little sad. It was me recording a script about how being with my partner will make me feel guilty and ashamed, how being together will be a bad experience and how we'll eventually break up because of this. It's like the repetition of these thoughts makes me numb. During exposure, I also see that my mind is coming up with realistic responses instead, such as "If you do indeed cry, it's not a big deal like you've made it in the past, so it's fine." or "If he's looking fat to you, then alright you don't like him physically as much as you could possibly like someone who is fit, but so what?" I'm unsure if this is just my brain healing, since it feels calm and logical, or a sneaky way of reassurance?

I was on social media page and saw something on OCD and it made me wonder if I have it . I’ve always been told I have anxiety and depression and some agoraphobia and some hypochondria and I’m sure some OCD. But I wonder if I have more OCD. My thing lately or since ever is that I can’t breathe. I’m constantly yawning trying to catch my breath. If I don’t catch my breath I will get very anxious. So I will yawn and yawn until I catch it . Lately I’ve been thinking, like who decides what that right breath is ? Who says this is the one? I mean I know which one it is cause it makes me feel better, but then ten minutes later I back to feeling like I’m suffocating and trying to catch it again. I focus on my breathing and feel I have to be in control of my breathing cause if I’m not I’ll stop breathing. It’s crazy and it’s driving me crazy . It’s all about my breathing my never catching it and never wanting to do anything to alter it for fear of not knowing how to get it back to normal. Sometimes i swear I forgot how to breathe all together. Sorry for the long post . Could this be OCD or am I just anxious?

I was on social media page and saw something on OCD and it made me wonder if I have it . I’ve always been told I have anxiety and depression and some agoraphobia and some hypochondria and I’m sure some OCD. But I wonder if I have more OCD. My thing lately or since ever is that I can’t breathe. I’m constantly yawning trying to catch my breath. If I don’t catch my breath I will get very anxious. So I will yawn and yawn until I catch it . Lately I’ve been thinking, like who decides what that right breath is ? Who says this is the one? I mean I know which one it is cause it makes me feel better, but then ten minutes later I back to feeling like I’m suffocating and trying to catch it again. I focus on my breathing and feel I have to be in control of my breathing cause if I’m not I’ll stop breathing. It’s crazy and it’s driving me crazy . It’s all about my breathing my never catching it and never wanting to do anything to alter it for fear of not knowing how to get it back to normal. Sometimes i swear I forgot how to breathe all together. Sorry for the long post . Could this be OCD or am I just anxious?

This isn’t purely OCD related, but is to an extent. So usually when I get a spike of OCD, I’ll go into a really bad depression a couple of days before and after, and this usually lasts a little over 2 weeks, usually every 1-2months. I was invited to a little get-together thing with a couple other people who I don’t honestly know *that* well, but I digress, but the thing is, I’m afraid that since it’s gonna be a whole weekend, that I’ll be in the middle of a depression/spike or fall into one DURING the event, which would obviously be awful. Any ideas on how to express this to these people without sounding like I’m just making up an excuse? Like “sorry, but I might be in a depression/spike of OCD” doesn’t exactly sound that wonderful, almost as if I’m asking for putty or something, which I’m not. Sorry it’s not super related, wish there were a “random” or misc channel on here. Anyway, if anyone has an idea on how to express this, I’d really appreciate it.

You know you have fantasies of love and just doing happy stuff. They're normal but its werid because I can picture him with a different girl because she is better and prettier than me. Its like my brain wants to be an enemy. Idk i want my brain to quit. I want to be able to imagine my life even its just a fake one. I want to day dream like normal.

What do you do for a living? If you do work, or maybe just go to school? How’s your OCD when at work or school? Just another fun topic if you wanna share.

I know there’s a reason God is letting me go through this mental torture. But why. What could His purpose possibly be. What is this preparing me for, what’s the reason for this.

Hey friends! Just seeing if anyone here has been/is on a Ketogenic/Carnivore diet? Been doing research on this topic for awhile now. Some doctors and psychiatrists are coming to a conclusion that psychiatric disorders may be autoimmune.(Leaky gut may be causing your immune system to attack itself) With that being said, I believe therapy such as ACT and ERP rank supreme in treating OCD. But I have also seen improvement while being in Ketosis. Any experiences?Just want something fun to talk about!

I have my first appointment with a psychologist and support worker July 8th... but just waiting for that date feels like my mind is even more messy than it usually is and I can't stand it. I keep convincing myself that I'm wasting their time and that there's nothing wrong with me- that my worst fears are an actuality and I'm just a- I don't even know. It makes absolutely no sense because I can acknowledge that my obsessions are 100% irrational- like I don't smell like sewage, I'm not morbidly obese, my house isn't emanating a foul smell, my house isn't going to spontaneously catch fire, I'm not going to accidently hurt anyone, I don't have a parasite and there are no bugs/rodents running rampant in my house.... I know none of these things are true- I know it's ridiculous tearing my house a part looking for things that arent there, asking my coworker to smell me over and over, googling medical symptoms, dissecting my own stool, throwing up because I make myself so upset, bleaching my floors until my fingers burn- so why the hell do I feel like I'm wasting the psychologists time at that they're going to be mad when they find out nothings wrong?

I've been thinking about starting meds. My therapist said she thinks it might help me, and I'm starting to agree. My brain keeps jumping from one obsession to the next to the point where I'm exausted. I've heard meds are really effective in lessening the obsessions and compulsions, and at this point I'll do anything to make it stop. Have any of you tried meds? What are your experiences with them?

Hi id like to ask anyone here if you're ever had thoughts like if I do this, eat this, or drink this id consent to enemy (the bad spirit I don't want to type its name since it's too scary)? I really feel awful about it and I feel like Jesus doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I'm afraid for my salvation. I don't know what to do I've been dealing with this for months and I go to therapy and have.medication and yet today the thoughts are really strong. The scariest thing is that.my mind is telling.me I don't care anymore. I am terrified. I dont don't want to care. I want to care about it.

i used to get really worked up obsessing over if i was gay as a kid. and i didn’t want to be i just thought but WHAT IF and it would drive me absolutely crazy with all the intrusive thoughts and compulsions and anxiousness. turns out...im like super gay lol. i have a girlfriend now (secret from my family until i move away after college) and honestly coming to terms with that was such a weight off my heart. i no longer spend hours obsessing over it and trying to do everything in my power to make those thoughts go away. ugh it’s awesome. small victories.

Guys. I continue to go longer and longer without giving into my compulsions. My main compulsion is reassurance. I’ve gone so many days lately with not doing my compulsion once. It continues to be longer and longer that I don’t give into reassurance. At the same time, I gave in today and did some reassurance after going the most days without it since I started having ocd. So I’m not down on myself for that. I can sit with uncertainty and the doom longer and longer which is showing erp is clearly working. But then my ocd starts to doubt my erp treatment. When I’m calm and rationalize it, I clearly know this erp treatment is spot on what I need and is working. But when I get so worked up and the ocd becomes so convincing, I get convinced that I’m dojng the wrong thing. I’m legit retraining my brain and not giving into the noise. I continue to get horrible memories from when i used to react, which is like my brain trying to warn me I’m in danger. I’m working so hard, I just need continued motivation. I have this thing almost beat! I’m going so much longer without givin into compulsions which is so amazing and I’m so proud of myself. I gotta continue to sit with the doom and the intrusive thoughts of doubt. I’m so close to beating this and claiming my life back! Pls keep me motivated! My therapist is amazing and does a good job of putting me back on track as well