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the NOCD Community

I have my first appointment with a psychologist and support worker July 8th... but just waiting for that date feels like my mind is even more messy than it usually is and I can't stand it. I keep convincing myself that I'm wasting their time and that there's nothing wrong with me- that my worst fears are an actuality and I'm just a- I don't even know. It makes absolutely no sense because I can acknowledge that my obsessions are 100% irrational- like I don't smell like sewage, I'm not morbidly obese, my house isn't emanating a foul smell, my house isn't going to spontaneously catch fire, I'm not going to accidently hurt anyone, I don't have a parasite and there are no bugs/rodents running rampant in my house.... I know none of these things are true- I know it's ridiculous tearing my house a part looking for things that arent there, asking my coworker to smell me over and over, googling medical symptoms, dissecting my own stool, throwing up because I make myself so upset, bleaching my floors until my fingers burn- so why the hell do I feel like I'm wasting the psychologists time at that they're going to be mad when they find out nothings wrong?

I've been thinking about starting meds. My therapist said she thinks it might help me, and I'm starting to agree. My brain keeps jumping from one obsession to the next to the point where I'm exausted. I've heard meds are really effective in lessening the obsessions and compulsions, and at this point I'll do anything to make it stop. Have any of you tried meds? What are your experiences with them?

Hi id like to ask anyone here if you're ever had thoughts like if I do this, eat this, or drink this id consent to enemy (the bad spirit I don't want to type its name since it's too scary)? I really feel awful about it and I feel like Jesus doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I'm afraid for my salvation. I don't know what to do I've been dealing with this for months and I go to therapy and have.medication and yet today the thoughts are really strong. The scariest thing is that.my mind is telling.me I don't care anymore. I am terrified. I dont don't want to care. I want to care about it.

i used to get really worked up obsessing over if i was gay as a kid. and i didn’t want to be i just thought but WHAT IF and it would drive me absolutely crazy with all the intrusive thoughts and compulsions and anxiousness. turns out...im like super gay lol. i have a girlfriend now (secret from my family until i move away after college) and honestly coming to terms with that was such a weight off my heart. i no longer spend hours obsessing over it and trying to do everything in my power to make those thoughts go away. ugh it’s awesome. small victories.

Guys. I continue to go longer and longer without giving into my compulsions. My main compulsion is reassurance. I’ve gone so many days lately with not doing my compulsion once. It continues to be longer and longer that I don’t give into reassurance. At the same time, I gave in today and did some reassurance after going the most days without it since I started having ocd. So I’m not down on myself for that. I can sit with uncertainty and the doom longer and longer which is showing erp is clearly working. But then my ocd starts to doubt my erp treatment. When I’m calm and rationalize it, I clearly know this erp treatment is spot on what I need and is working. But when I get so worked up and the ocd becomes so convincing, I get convinced that I’m dojng the wrong thing. I’m legit retraining my brain and not giving into the noise. I continue to get horrible memories from when i used to react, which is like my brain trying to warn me I’m in danger. I’m working so hard, I just need continued motivation. I have this thing almost beat! I’m going so much longer without givin into compulsions which is so amazing and I’m so proud of myself. I gotta continue to sit with the doom and the intrusive thoughts of doubt. I’m so close to beating this and claiming my life back! Pls keep me motivated! My therapist is amazing and does a good job of putting me back on track as well

so the therapist i have now doesn’t even know anything about ocd, she tells me “don’t let the negative thoughts take over your mind, everyone has negative thoughts” like do you not know what OCD IS?? and my mom asked if she treats it and she said yes but i feel like she only said that for the money. there are no ocd therapists near me and i don’t have the money for one on here either

Have any of you guys tried the therapy the app offers? If so what was your reason, did you prefer to do it over the phone or was an OCD specialist just not close to you? I’ve done therapy but never seen an OCD specialist and am not totally sure how i should go about it.

Are there any studies about if CBD oil helps with OCD at all?

Has anyone here managed ocd?

What are your thoughts on identity/platonic crushes ?

I feel awful. I haven’t felt this bad in a really long time. I really want to talk to someone, but I’m so scared to trigger them. Because the thing bothering me is extremely triggering to someone with hocd hahah

I'm stuck in an OCD cycle and having a hard time trying to figure out how to treat it with ERP. Basically what happens when I go to the bathroom, shower, walk past the kitchen sink, my mind goes "You've just ran over to the soap/shampoo bottle, and pumped soap on yourself for no reason." I think that's a weird thought, where did that come from. Next, I'll sometimes re-rinse my hands, body, etc. to make sure I haven't just ran and pumped soap on me for no reason. For ERP I get confused if I'm just supposed to let the thought "you've just ran over to the soap/shampoo bottle and pumped soap on yourself for no reason" be there and not react with compulsions. Or if I need to pump soap on me and not rinse it off, making pumping soap on me the new norm? I don't know, it's confusing to me.

Anyone got any advice for stopping mental compulsions? I’ve noticed that sometimes I’ll just be doing them automatically to prevent the intrusive thoughts in the first place, which then triggers my intrusive thoughts, and sends me down into a spiral of anxiety. I have a interview-type-thing tomorrow and I’m scared that I won’t be able to focus- or worse, I’ll have an anxiety attack during it. I’m starting to go “no, that’s just a thought, we’ve been over this, it has no basis in reality, there’s absolutely no reason to fixate on this” instead of mentally checking and reassuring myself with every single reason, but my thoughts then go to “well are you sure? Why isn’t this possible? What if it is?” I started doing this yesterday, going cold-turkey on the reassurance-seeking (trying to treat it like an addiction, and in my experience weaning doesn’t work, though I’ve never had a *real* addiction other than caffeine). It’s probably a good sign that they’re doing that, since I’m not giving them as much attention as my OCD would like, but it’s still pretty disabling. Anyone got any tips for getting through this? Maybe just a word of encouragement? Thanks!

Hi guys, Firstly, before I share what troubles me, I would like to thank you for all your support and kind help. It is very much appreciated! Also, I would like to add that I feel really disgusted with what I'm about to share, and I apologise beforehand if my words will hurt anyone, I really don't mean it. I don't know if this Is OCD but here goes: For the last few days I have felt ignored by my boyfriend (I'm sure he didn't ignore but that's how it felt to me). It made me feel down and weird. I know he loves me but the feelings (of being ignored) were real and quite overwhelming). That's when I started to get thoughts of wanting to punish him for ignoring him. (I know, I have no limits!) The thoughts were not the only thing I experienced. I also got the troubling and worrying feeling of actually wanting to carry out the action (of punishment). In addition, the feeling almost came like a desire. It felt, and still feesl, like it would feel/be nice/satisfying to hurt my boyfriend. To make everything worse, the thoughts and feelings don't seem intrusive at all. I feel absolutely terrible. I saw him today at work (we work at the same place) and he was really sweet and nice to me. And all I wanted was to scream because I felt like an imposter. This is probably even worse than my POCD. I don't know why I'm like this. I'm really sorry. Can anyone help me with this, please? I really feel like I'm becoming a monster because it feels that I like the thoughts and feelings I get, and also because they are not intrusive. I'm really sorry again!

OCD related to yelling something inappropriate in public? Lately I’ve been having intense OCD and subsequent anxiety that I’m going to say something extremely inappropriate to a stranger when I’m in public, either when I walk past them or drive past them. A lot of times it’s related to horribly intrusive thoughts that make me extremely uncomfortable and anxious. For example I’m afraid I’ll yell something racist, or homophobic, or shame someone based on their looks, or something misogynistic etc. I am none of these things, I’m actively against all of them. But I keep having these intrusive thoughts pop into my head and then I obsess that I will, or already have blurted them out to a stranger or group of strangers. Then I obsess about “well, if I would never say that, but if I had of I would definitely know, I wouldn’t just forget. but what if I did say it and what if I did actually just forget that I said it. Or what if I have Tourette’s syndrome but I just don’t know it and I actually have been blurting these things out?” Gosh it’s exhausting, 15 years of ocd and it seems like there’s no end in sight.

How r u even supposed to tell a girl, hey I like girls but have constant gay intrusive thoughts about men want to be my girlfriend lol it's a mindfuck and embarrassing

My HOCD is stuck on the theme, what if I'd enjoy gay sex more. I don't even know what ERP I could possibly do for this

Sometimes it feels like therapy is pointless. I like my therapist and she’s ocd specialized, but she always tells me things I already know. Sometimes it feels like nothing will actually help bc I feel like I know what I need to know but that doesn’t change how I feel

does anyone else feel like they’ve completely lost themself and don’t know what they really feel like or who they are anymore. i have no idea what i should have as morals or if i even care about anything, i’m really stuck, i don’t even know my sexuality anymore, it’s really tough.

This day has been on of the worst in my entire life. It started with having HOCD. Around the mid-day it changed to POCD. And now I'm back to HOCD. The whole day ruined by looking for reassurance on Google. I get urges of killing myself. I can't take this anymore