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My brain is telling me all I can see in my future is leaving my amazing bf to be gay and wanting to not live anymore. I can’t stop crying. It feels too real. I can’t stop panicking. I don’t want this. I don’t want this to be real.

So I had a therapist but he wasn’t really that great, he would just listen and give support, but never gave advice or gave me steps to help my OCD. With that came not giving me a lot of info on the type of OCD I have. He called it magical thinking, I see it all over google, but isn’t there another name for that type of OCD? I wouldn’t think “magical thinking OCD” would be the exact term. Is it rare or something? Also does anyone else have this type of OCD? I would love to chat with someone that’s going through something super similar!!

I’m lonely and need a Girlfriend but I can’t get one because I have Hocd I don’t have a crush right now no sex drive and i feel like I’m Forcing myself to like women. Any advice?

Please respond if possible I need help: I'm really scared cuz I remember when I was younger I watched a lot of lesbian porn. I was looking for more and more things and was becoming desensitized. There were fleeting moments where I was wondered if I liked it or wanted to do that in real life. I remember having an intrusive thought about Mila Kunis cuz my brother had a crush on her and I wondered, "do I have a crush on her too?" I obviously didn't like the thought. I dont know if I'm creating false memories in my head and ocd is twisting things or if I definitely wanted to do things with girls and my mind just sucks cuz I have bad memory. I remember another time I checked and checked to make sure if I was aroused and wanted to do certain things in real life. The "liking," feels like it does now but I dont know if it was real or hocd :( now im afraid im bi and in denial. Any insight?

Not std checking again is irresponsible to me. What if I have infected myself? My partner will think I cheated and leave me I need to test again. But I’m scared the results will say I am riddled. How will I explain that? I’ll fucking kill myself if that happens but I can’t function without checking either

Hey everyone, my name is Stephen Smith and I’m the Founder and CEO of NOCD. I also have OCD, which is why I founded the platform. Specifically, I have “intrusive thoughts OCD”- relationship-based, sexual, and religious thoughts that made me at one point question many fundamental elements of my character. Although google searching for answers to my thoughts was my most noticeable compulsion, my compulsions were mainly mental, where I would reassure myself, mentally review past events, pray, and even check my body for different sensations. Since I didn’t suffer with the “standard symptoms”, I ended up getting misdiagnosed 5 times which caused me to get really severe, drop out of school, and become housebound. While housebound, I started searching my thoughts online which led me to realize that I had OCD. Then, when searching for evidence-based OCD treatment, I stumbled upon exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy. Although ERP is extremely effective (about 80% of people with OCD see a significant reduction in symptoms after going through treatment), there was only one therapist in my area who specialized in it. She had a 7 month wait list and charged $250 per session- making the care pretty much inaccessible for me. I got lucky though since my mom, who was desperate at the time to see me get better, found money from a family friend to pay for my treatment. She also called the clinician and begged her to get me off the waitlist. If it wasn’t for her, I probably wouldn’t be here today. After doing ERP with the provider for 12 weeks, I ended up getting better- so much to the point where I was able to go back to school, finish up my football career (I was a college quarterback) and eventually complete my degree. Because I managed the OCD fears by accepting the uncertainty behind them (a core principle behind response prevention), the anxiety over time went away, and the thoughts decreased in frequency as well as in severity (since they didn’t really matter to me anymore). After that happened, I ended up returning back to normal pretty much- feeling as good as I did before my severe OCD onset. That’s when I started pondering the question, “if OCD is so treatable with a good ERP therapist, then why isn’t treatment more accessible to people going through the condition?” It’s a question I’m sure many of you are currently asking or have asked before. Now to the good news....There is no more need to ask that question. Now inside of NOCD, you can do live, face-to-face therapy sessions with a licensed therapist who specializes in treating OCD using exposure and response prevention (ERP). After signing up, all you need to do is open up your phone or laptop and start the session with the ERP therapist. It’s all video-conferencing. It’s the solution that I always wanted when I was going through treatment, so I hope you can find value in it if you are suffering- especially those who are stuck on the waitlist or who live hours from care. Anyways- if you have questions about doing ERP therapy with a NOCD telehealth provider or with another therapist feel free to ask them here. I will definitely give you the pros and cons. Much love!

A lesbian on Instagram has a matching tattoo as me in the same exact spot in my elbow crease so naturally my hocd mind takes me to that means I’m a lesbian and I’m suppose to be with her. Y’all I am fuckkng TIRED.

Hi NOCD users, welcome to our app designed to allow you space to share your experiences and for us to share helpful information. I was wondering what are your thoughts about the level of difficulty separating your trigger from your obsessive thoughts and then separating the obsessive thoughts from the compulsive behavior/action? I find through working with NOCD clients, that many run all of these together because it can be very difficult to catch and separate them from each other? At times, it seems to all happen so quickly and automatically that you may not see them as separate? Would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you for being here and any efforts to answer these questions for me!

Does anybody with HOCD have: 1. A nagging feeling that they are forcing themselves to like the opposite sex whenever they see the opposite sex? 2. Do you ever feel like you have compulsory heterosexuality and just have a feeling you're not straight at all? 3. Did any of you lose your attraction for the opposite sex and now feel you're attracted to the same sex but still have this inner desire to be with the opposite sex? Like you still enjoy thoughts of the opposite sex Please tell me anything if anybody does read this

I’ve had a long-standing fear of essentially just not being a good person. Being selfish, or a narcissist, or a sociopath etc etc. But I’ve alllllways thought that the fact that it worries me so much, is proof that it can’t be true. Because bad people don’t worry about being bad. But today I began to wonder if that’s not true. If it’s just an obsession. A way my brain can trick me into compulsions. It doesn’t matter if it’s about being a good person or not, it’s just a fear. Therefore I have no regard to being good or bad, I just don’t want to be anxious. Maybe OCD doesn’t actually attack my morals and values, it just picks anything. I don’t think I’ve worded this right and maybe it all sounds a little bit confusing. But I’m just worried I’m not good at the end of the day.

Hi, I wrote yesterday but I delete it because it was to long the message. I just need a little help and support with this. I was diagnosed with pure OCD a few years ago. I manage to get through but recently I experience a traumatic event that felt mostly as an emotional abuse. From that day on my mind stuck on that experience and it doesn’t seem to let it go even after a year and something. It’s like everyday my mind relive that experience trying to find the why’s and the how’s. My difficulty is that recently it started to become very painful any thought about that experience provokes very strong emotions of fear and sadness and brings me a huge migraine and actual physical pain in my brain. It’s worth to mention that through that experience I started to doubt myself and blame myself for the abuse. I believe that I am experiencing PTSD and have OCD thoughts about the PTSD and it’s really painful. I was wondering if anyone of you experience something similar. Any advice would be appreciated, I just need a small breath. Thank you.

OK! I am going through the weirdest thought process and it’s kinda TMI but I just don’t know who else to talk to. So I’ve been dating this guy for a while and he is sO goofy. He sent me a snap video of him in a bath and he was trying to make me laughing peeing in the video too. And it was cute seeing him in a bath because he’s a grown man in a little bath all by himself I thought it was cute. But when he pee’d it reminded me of my nephew. Sometimes when I take my baby nephew to the potty I have to carry him to pee because he’s so tiny and when he finishes it’s this funny little trickling noise. And that’s the noise my bf made in the video. So when that came in my mind I had this idea that I’m like a pedophile or into children because I thought... Like I don’t even know I can’t even explain it. Like when my bf sent me that video I didn’t think of it sexually or turned on by it. I genuinely just thought it was adorable that he was in a bath like a little boy. And then it made me panic like do I think it’s cute because I’m into children?! I don’t really know what to do. I’ve always suffered from POCD but I’m really scared about this...

Does it make me crazy that i miss someone who was emotionally neglectful and abusive to me ? I sometimes Worry it was my fault and that i made them neglect me.

Good morning OCD users and welcome to our NOCD community platform. I’m a therapist here at NOCD and I had a wonderful conversation today with a client I’ve been working with. They told me they didn’t feel the need to monitor their thoughts any longer because they are not feeling anxious all day, everyday! They were so grateful for the peace in their days, the easy laughter, the connection to their family members - all these things were missing from their lives because of HOCD. But not anymore. We went through the NOCD treatment plan, we did self monitoring worksheets and built a hierarchy and they worked very hard and it paid off. I’m not going to say they will never have another HOCD thought, but today they feel in remission and for that we will shout from the roof top in joy and hope for more days of remission. For that client and any other who is feeling hope today, continue to do your ERP and continue to break that cycle! It is a good Tuesday!

I'm feeling really shitty! I'm so afraid that all of a sudden I turn into a pedophile! And that I'll have to see cp! And I'll need to go see a therapist for sexual perverts! I am so afraid! Not even the fact that pedophiles find out they are when their about 16 relaxes me! It only makes me scared that I haven't realised yet! I really like kids and love spending time with them but not in a sexual way! Just in a mummy way! I would love to be a mother and I'm afraid that I'll never be because before it I'll will turn into this huge monster!

I know that OCD can manipulate our feelings (I call them intrusive emotions) but then for me comes the question, what if I do something whilst experiencing those intrusive emotions? Sorry if this worried anyone as well. I just need some support please

I feel like im in hell. I feel so bad and i feel so doomed. For 1.5 years i fighting with ocd, mostly pure o. 3 2.5 months ago it start to attack my relationship. She is the most precious thing in my life and i understand thats why the icd attack it. Im struggle with maintain love, attraction, emotions the most. In the last days i started to feel very numb and its "connect" me to the idea i dont love her and not attracted to her. It made me to be even more scared to my life when i noticed that ive short breath while kissing her, because im so scared amd ashamed that i kiss her while ive got all of those thoughts. I noticed that i check my emotion stability toward her which make it worse. Also, i read on wikipedia about pure o and they wrote there about that pure o relationship ocd is in most cases lead to break up and it triggered me so much. I dont want to loose her, never, no matter how much im suffer. She gave and giving me the powet to cope with this demon. I know its all ocd and i try to live my life without ocd and my love in my conor and something teying to hurt us and its makes me crazy.

How do you believe it’s just ocd, when it doesn’t feel like it’s just ocd?

how come with hocd i get these gross sexual thoughts and they make me super uncomfortable and i cringe but something makes me think i like it. and i don’t even know what it is that makes me think i like it

Keep having gay dreams and I either wake up crying or wake up really uncomfortable and confused. I saw someone in here say that lesbians only watch straight porn which I know is completely false, but now I keep having dreams that I'm witnessing a porn and focusing on the girl. I've never had dreams that I wasn't in before this. I watched porn once by myself when I was 14 and I'm 21 now. I get turned on by these dreams because sometimes I wake up aroused, but it's not a happy feeling it makes me feel kind of nauseous. Please help.