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Hi All, I (22F) have been suffering from HOCD for the past three months. I am engaged to the man I want to be with. However, I can't kick OCD. I was recently aroused when looking at a model in lingerie. The lingerie was objectively sexy and I briefly thought about how she was posing for a man with her breasts out. Likewise, I thought about how sexy it would be if I wore that. But, now I'm terrified. If I can get these responses from the female body-not the male body-that must surely mean something. Likewise, I have trouble orgasming during sex and I don't always love making out. But, I really don't think I'm a lesbian? Long story short, I need help getting over this. I'm in college and I can barely study. All I do is worry. I can't even enjoy my engagement at this rate because I'm convinced I'm in denial. This sexual arousal gives me incredible amounts of anxiety, especially considering I have been turned on by stuff like this in the past. If anyone has any helpful words, please let me know. I am not seeking reassurance, but I felt this backstory was necessary to explain why this fear has been so potent. There may be some real attraction here, which terrifies me. I don't know what to do. I want to enjoy life and improve sex with my fiance but I'm feeling hopeless. If anyone has any words of advice, it would be deeply appreciated.

Has this made you guys rlly depressed? Like I’m just trying to accept it and I’m super depressed cause I don’t want that. I’ve read if you’re depressed and anxious about it, than you’re doubtfully that. I’m just scared.

I’m getting intense intrusive thoughts about suicide and self harm. This is terrifying and a new theme for me. Any advice?

I’ve been signed off work for two weeks. My ocd is literally making my life a living hell I’m still completely convinced I’m riddled with STDs despite negative results. I’m convinced my conjunctivitis was caused by STDs and I will infect myself and my partner will leave me assuming I cheated. I cannot accept this happening. I won’t hesitate to flip out if that ever happened. I cannot live in uncertainty I absolutely won’t

Does anyone know why OCD attacks the things we care about the most? I have heard this many times and it’s been attacking my relationship for the past 2 months and I feel like it’s destroying my relationship :(

I thought I’d post on here on the other side of ocd! A year ago I wanted to rip my brain out of my head because I thought I’d have to live in the hell of ocd forever!! But after intensive erp I am doing sooo much better and that’s after a relapse and so much trial and error! That being said I finally feel like myself again and am really embracing my thoughts! I get intrusive thoughts about a few times a month now and very easily shut them down :) I am in the preventing stage now where I do lil exposures everyday just to keep the ocd at bay! I have finally learned to live with this disorder! And I think sooo many ppl here can too! There is hope! I’m putting this out here so that if anyone has questions or just needs support please feel free to comment or to ask!! I’m here for you! I feel your pain! Xo I’ll do my best to help because I was in those awful shoes a year ago so I know what it’s like!

I'm under so much pressure. I need a job. I've been out of work now for a year and I was looking before OCD hit me really badly, with no success. Hocd/rocd became completely debilitating for about 4 months, I wasn't able to do anything although I did still hang out with my boyfriend which I'm sure makes me look really bad. I didn't want him to think I was doing as badly as I was so I forced myself to do things with him. Of course I definitely wanted to see him, but in the beginning everytime I saw him I'd internally flip out with panic. He knows about my ocd, but I've shared only what I want to sparing the details as not to make him insecure. Things are good enough now where I've started applying places again, yet I've gotten no responses. I really feel like I'm taking advantage of everyone at this point because my dad gives me money all the time and my boyfriend pays for dinners and lunches ect often. I hate it. I really hate myself right now, but I'm trying my hardest to dig myself out of this hole so I can breathe again. I got an application for a job that I'm really interested in, but transportation is an issue. I'm also scared I would be able to do the job, but the manager said that if I'm interested they would train me for the position since I have no experience. I can't do math and the job requires talking to people and doing some basic math. It's a career type job that I could have for the rest of my life if I wanted. The issue is I can't drive and the bus here is always late. The bus stop at night is kind of terrifying and there are really scary people there. Last time I went on the bus and old guy started harassing me and was trying to get me to go to lunch with him. Sorry for the rant, but I needed to get it off my chest. I feel so guilty.

Anyone want to give me relationship advice ? because HOCD and ROCD are preventing me from thinking logically right now.

Whenever I don't perform a compulsion and just accept the presence of the thought I feel like I like the thought so then I have to check if I like it. Ughh this sucks.

Please reply. I am embarrassed to share this. I dont watch porn AT ALL anymore and never will again but I keep getting intrusive images of porn scenes I saw on pornsites from a long time ago. Especially weird things, like I remember I once stumbled across porn that had a old man in it. Porn has lots of weird categories. I keep feeling bad and guilty for ever watching porn in the first place but I'm trying to remember a lot of people have watched porn/do watch it without feeling the shame I feel now, over a year after stopping watching it. My OCD is fixating on this to the point where it's making me want to throw up. I have real event/moral ocd and my ocd really tries to make me feel bad about these memories from a long time ago.

Please someone help me Read my last post, I am in a dark place right now, I feel like it would be easier to just end this suffering

Anyone with HOCD in the stage where you're just accepting the thoughts and now It just feels like you're a lesbian. But I'm trying not to engage with this "feeling". So wierd. Idk if this is normal

do gay people get ocd similar symptoms when coming out ?

I’m scared that I’d be happier with a girl or I’m meant to be with girls or something. I hate this, I only ever wanted a boyfriend and had feelings for boys. I’d be so jealous when they would be with other girls. What’s going on ..? Anyone else the same?

Saw a post that triggerd me so much!! A story about someone having HOCD and suddenly found out they were gay. Freaking out, im not gay!! I dont want to leave my boyfriend, dont know what to do.

Hi guys and gals, this is my first post here. Let me introduce myself. Sorry if this is a bit long. I have a question to ask, but I want to give the context. If you read it, I thank you for your time. I was (mis?)diagnosed with OCD a few years ago. Since then, that diagnosis has been discarded by three different psychiatrists and two psychologists, one of them being a specialist in OCD treatment, after several personal interviews and a battery of tests. Yes, I did do the ink stains one, but I did probably seven others. They all, however, agree that I have an anxiety disorder with OCD-like traits. So, it's not really OCD, but I exhibit many of the same symptoms, although not all of them. I want to say that in the last few years I have gained a lot of respect and sympathy for people who struggle with their mental health, especially those with OCD, because I can relate so much. If I have, in their words, "only traits of OCD", I can't even imagine what it feels like to have full blown OCD. I'm on a ton of medication and even then, on my worst days, I could spend up to 5 hours doing rituals and mental checking. It was hell, and some days it still is. My compulsions are mostly mental. I would say about 95% of them are mental. I seem to have in the physical realm only one obsession, and it's with symmetry. But I can go days, even weeks maybe, without actually feeling that urge. Mental compulsions, however, torment me every day. I have decided to treat myself. All the professionals I have visited over the years refuse to treat me like you would treat a person with OCD. I know they have their reasons, but I feel like I need treatment. I am under CBT treatment but I feel it's not specific enough. The obsessions bother me so much, and they depress me. A lot. They tell me, literally, to "not give importance to your thoughts". I think if there's a group of people who understand how ridiculous that sounds it is you guys. So decided I would buy a few books and download this app, to start. I have taken the first two tests and aced all the questions (yay me) and I am somewhat familiar with the concept of ERP, but I wanted to know if you or someone you know is in the same place, that is, mostly mental compulsions or OCD-like traits. A combination would be ideal of course. I guess what I want to know is what can I expect, what my prognosis would sound like and if ERP is worth the initial anxiety spike in a case like mine or if I should stick with more "basic" CBT approaches. Thank you all

Anyone up and able to chat? Im struggling so much right now.

Hwo should I react to the ocd thoughts? I tried many different things but all of them didn't work out

Does anyone with hocd ever get thoughts or doubts that they “faked” their feelings for a guy they used to love or something? Idk I used to be in love with this guy then he broke my heart 2.5 months ago and now I’m wondering if I ever even liked him and am just in denial; idk if that makes sense lol

Just got off the phone with my after hours therapy center. I’m trying not to ruminate or seek reassurance, but even after I spoke with the therapist I can’t help but worry that I’m not just or moral enough. I asked if I should turn myself in, and they said no. I wish I could enjoy the holidays but I’m by myself right now and I’m going through a familiar thought process of the world would be a better place if I had been a different person. I’ve been feeling depressed and thinking about different ways in which I’m inadequate and incompetent. I can’t seem to figure out how I’m actually worthwhile. I don’t know if I’ll ever get out of this, my mental illnesses and my current failures at my work and internship. I’m sorry this all sounds dark and I don’t feel like being drastic. Rather I just feel extremely stuck. Kind of like, oh shoot I’m not someone anyone likes and I’m unfortunately a waste of oxygen.