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Anyone suffering from hocd ?

Scared of death? I am so terrified of dying or one of my loved ones dying. It depends on the situation and how stressed I am but it can range from me not flying, to me not driving long distance, It’s been extremely stormy recently and now my OCD has kicked in that one of us will get struck by lightening or it will struck a line near us and the house will catch on fire. For a while I’d leave the house and take my kids because I couldn’t handle hearing the thunder and seeing the lightening. I’m trying now to stay and face my fears with the storm at home right now and I’m loosing it. Crying, shaking, fidgeting.

How to accept uncertainty , can anyone throw some light on this , I'm freaking out

So this might get GRAPHIC and it will be a trigger for some people So i saw some video for hocd and the man said that imagining someone of the same sex and masturbating to it repeatedly might solve the issue and if somehow you ejaculated there is a problem with you So i tried it and after a lot of struggling i managed to ejaculate but it has become a constant reminder for me that i might have become gay Please HELP

I’m thinking a lot about my parents today, kind of feeling bitter about a lot of things, some old some recent. Like when my dad and I had an argument because i was having trouble taking care of myself and he sort of made an idle threat that he could have me declared incompetent, meaning that basically my entire life would be over before it even begins (I’m about to be 18, trying to move out before I turn 19). Like am I wrong for thinking that’s a messed up thing to say to someone who is struggling and just wants to get their life together. He said that he would never actually do this, but why bring it up other than to make it clear to me that he CAN ruin my life if he wants to? It just seems so weird to me sometimes my parents are trying to help me but they don’t really understand ocd enough to, and haven’t tried to understand it better that I have seen. I feel ungrateful for being mad at them, but at the same time, I resent that they neglected my mental health for such a long time, because my brothers problems were more obvious and outwardly destructive, so they kind of didn’t pay any attention to what was going on with me until it got so bad I tried to kill self, and then when I was in the hospital after trying to kill myself, and my dad called it a “little stunt” and me a “selfish spoiled brat” (which he still won’t admit that he actually said). I’m beginning to think that my dad is emotionally abusive but I can’t tell if I have just convinced myself that he’s the abuser when really it’s me. I don’t know. It’s rough. There’s a lot more examples of shit both my parents have done or said that sticks out, but this is already a fuckin novel so yeah. Not necessarily looking for any advice (I’ll take it if you got it though), just wanted to vent a little.

How do you guys deal with family members who don’t understand OCD well and try to take it upon themselves to fix your problems? I’m staying with my mom right now while I recover from a partial thyroidectomy, and the way she’s been acting is beginning to really mess with me. I understand she is doing these things because she cares but she isn’t listening to me and what I really need. The other day she decided it would be a good idea to trigger me on purpose trying to do “ERP”, which I haven’t yet started in a clinical setting and I am certainly not ready to do at home, much less without warning. I’d been doin really well that day up until then, managing my anxiety on my own, but I’d hit my limit at that point and decided to smoke some weed to calm down, at which my mom found it appropriate to say I was like an alcoholic jonesing for beer. I just wanted my medicine so I could calm down and not cry, which irritates my stitches a whole hell of a lot more than smoking does (I’m one of those people who can suppress the coughing). Idk I’m sorry that was long, the whole thing just makes me feel like shit about myself, maybe I’m just an addict after all but idk it just seemed a little unfair for her to basically screw with my mental illness, and then chastize me for wanting some relief. I realize smoking can irritate the stitches a little bit but it hurts a whole lot more when I cry. It’s worth mentioning that I have PTSD as well, partially due to how my mom acted when I was a young kid, and she doesn’t accommodate it the best.

Honestly, I’m just so confused. Is this really false attraction? There’s a girl at the doctors right now and she’s pretty. But I’m literally stressing over the fact that I could be lesbian and that’s why I think she’s pretty. And that I’m interested in her. This is so weird I hate it, it just feels so real like I’m just in denial and have been my whole life. But I swear I’ve never crushed on a girl, I would’ve noticed, I’ve never even fantasied. Why is this happening to me now? Idk i this is actually hocd or I just like girls.

Help! How do you do exposures without checking yourself for arousal? It seems impossible. Right now I’ll do anything to get rid of this HOCD.

Everyone. Stay strong and keep fighting. HOCD is difficult. It’ll make you second guess yourself. Picture the worst case scenarios. Make you doubt what is fundamentally you. Like right now I want to ask for reassurance in the subtle form of “does this happen to anyone....” but I won’t. Bc that’s what it wants. I’m going to sit with this uncertainty, and move past it. I want everyone to confidently do the same today. Don’t live in fear. That’s what HOCD wants. It wants you to keep checking. To be 100%. No such thing exists. Fight to live in the present. You aren’t that smart lol you didn’t trick yourself into subverting your true desires. Nothings lurking behind the shadows. You are you.

I'm really struggling at the moment. I feel like I'm doing this to myself like I'm putting the thoughts there. I worry the medication has kicked in and I'm feeling like this because it's how I actually feel. A month ago I was so anxious, crying, not eating- my mind was constantly raising, thinking about nothing else. Now I feel sort of nothing but sort of everything- the thoughts are there but I'm not so worried by them. (but they're still pretty constant- the first thing on my mind when I wake up). I don't question my attraction to my partner (he's gorgeous) but my mind is constantly saying 'you don't love him' or 'this isn't right for you'. I don't know why this keeps happening and I'm worried there is nothing wrong other than the relationship being over. I really don't want it to be, but I can't think of any other way to get rid of these thoughts or feelings. I'm avoiding googling/facebooking but it's really hard. A couple of months ago I felt so normal and in love and now, these constant thoughts and feelings are making me so unhappy. It does ease a bit when I'm with him but doesn't go completely. Part of me is hoping this is OCD because I guess it means there is a chance to work through this and be with my partner, but I think I'm struggling to believe it right now. Anyone relate?

I just went thru the hierarchy and my first exposure is sharing a drink or plate of food with someone. I have read that herpes can spread this way. I am so confused, why would the app give me an exposure that may actually pose a real risk to someone?

If I don’t confess to my mom now I can’t sleep at all and then can’t function the next day. I overcame all of this and was on medication but I lost my job and just got out of a bad relationship with a guy who made my ocd much worse, so I’m back to confessing all the bad things I’ve done to my mom. She was a perfectionist when I was growing up and would think any small thing was the end of the world (and I think that contributed to my ocd developing). Now I bring up embarrassing things I’ve done for reassurance that nothing bad will come from it but it’s stuff too embarrassing to tell your mother. I don’t have insurance now for medication and I try to meditate and use cbd oil or vitamins but nothing works and I resort to wine and cigarettes to calm my stress.

Currently really anxious. Lately I've had the obsession that I won't be able to sleep again. I lay down at night, doze off for 15min to and hour, then wake up even more anxious like "I won't be able to fall back asleep again."

I am a mother of a 10 year old with ocd. She has been seeing an ocd therapist for over a year now but has had ongoing struggles staying at school. We have a 504 plan and school has been really accommodating with her. She is always saying she wishes she could be homeschooled. I’m just curious what are some thoughts on this: homeschooling vs going to public school for a kid with ocd? What would be the pros & cons of homeschooling? Thanks for your feedback.

Is there anyone here with HOCD that actually enjoys or has enjoyed gay fantasies, or that has felt aroused by their gay thoughts? I know there's nothing wrong with having gay fantasies, but I would like to learn more about how they experience their OCD. I don't mean to trigger anyone, specially those who confuse stress with feeling aroused. I've been battling HOCD for some time now and it's so debilitating and frustrating. And actually experiencing arousal to some thoughts makes me feel like its not hocd at times and makes me cry so much.

I just wanted to ask, how do you know if you like the same sex and are in denial, or if it’s HOCD? I’ve tried finding resources but none of them really explain it well enough for me to differentiate.

Are false fetishes a part of ocd? im not looking for reassurance. i just want to know if anyone else experiences what im about to say. *deep breath• I have hocd as it is & ever since i was a child i have had this strange fascination with peeing. if someone wet themselves i would get a strong groinal response and a voice in my head telling me to do something innapropriate. I used to also watch lesbian watersports porn because of this peeing obsession and i thought i liked it. i am seriously shaking as i write this because i don't want to be judged ? the obession has always terrified me, and even at one point i thought i liked it because of the groinal response but now it digusts me and i no longer watch it. I don't have an obession with peeing anymore but if someone mentions something about peeing, i panic so so much and i start to get emotional and i feel like having a panic attack. I also get a lot of false memories of doing innapropriate things with class mates

What do you do when your fiancé doesn’t truly understand your ocd?

I’ve lost my interest in men. I’ve been telling myself what if I’m gay for over a year now and I feel like I’m gay now. I feel like my biggest worry is coming out now. In my religion and culture it’s wrong and I don’t want it. It all started as a movie scene last year. I’ve accepted it I’ve given up. I feel like I’ve been in denial the past a year. I’m on tinder looking at girls now cause I don’t know anymore. Now I can’t seem to find someone I’m interested in I can’t see myself kissing a girl or sleeping with one. I just truly believe I’m gay and I have to call my mom and come out. I want to cry. I’m nervous idk what’s real. Am I gay? Or is this ocd? Am I bi? Should I come out? Was my life a lie? Am I in denial cause it’s unacceptable? Will my parents love me? If I’m worried about them then it’s cause I’m in denial right? Ugh I want to die.

I’m new to being as open with my ocd as I have been in the past, and I think this is the place to feel safe. I’ve been tackling my ocd with ERP (exposure response prevention) and it’s been extremely successful in the past and now. Just right now, and I’m about to start new medicine for my ocd that I’m hopeful about, I just feel tired. I’m making myself get up and do things but it’s almost like my body is on one big come down from maybe all the anxiety added up over the weeks. It’s just making me feel slumped and like I could almost start feeling depressed. I just wanted to know if anyone had any personal successes on how to overcome this feeling. Thank you all and much love to all who deal with this.