Welcome to
the NOCD Community

It's the worst feeling knowing what you need to do to help yourself but not feeling able too, not being able to find the help you so desperately need. I can't do it alone I've tried and failed. I need professional help and can't wait for the stupid NHS for another year. The state of the mental health service in the UK is something I feel so strongly about, it needs sorting but no chance with bloody Boris Johnson and this tory government. the guy is an idiot.

When I look up pictures of naked guys I feel this weird feeling of heat and heart racing. Does anyone else experience this? It makes me very uncomfortable.

Ffs can't believe how hard it is to find an ocd specialist in the UK. Or at least someone with experience working with ocd. Shall I just move to another country to be able to get the help I need. So fed up now.

How long does an intrusive thought usually last for you guys?

I’m feeling really down at the moment and I feel like it’s difficult to reach out to people. My parents assume it’s too much time on social media and with my boyfriend. My boyfriend listens to a bit then isn’t fully there. My friends say going out will do me good, rather than listening to the fact that I just want to stay in and talk about my problems with someone. Just feel a bit deflated

"Does anyone else does X or Y?" "Has anyone else ...?" "Can OCD make you ..."? ---- All those may be covert forms of reassurance seeking.

Hey everyone.. i’m a 19 year old girl and this is really hard for me to type out and i’m also really scared I did something genuinely wrong, but I can’t remember if I actually did it, but I think I did do at least some of what I remember, so like around a couple years ago, I was on this internet chatsite cause I was bored, and I talked to people, but I know I had said some “inappropriate “ things to some adults, and “cammed” if you know what i’m talking about lmaoo (ihatemyself)-anyway, on this site there were occasionally children, and sometimes I would just talk to them shortly too, but then when I think back, I can’t remember if I also did something bad or said anything bad to a freaking child... like if I think hard enough about it i’m like,, what if I said inappropriate things to a child??? what if I said I wanted to come get this child or something, but I really don’t remember doing THAT, but I still worry i’m just not remembering it, and I have been miserable about this for so long, I even went to the ER because I was suicidal because of this doubt, and I told a nurse about it, but I was really scared and crying cause I thought now she’ll tell the authorities or something, and then she just said, no, we couldn’t do that just because some girl “thinks” she might have done that, but I still feel paranoid, like maybe I manipulated her to think that, by seeming distressed about it, like basically Idk what to do because I feel like if I just forget about it, what If i actually did it, and it also makes me scared to make new friends or even try dating, cause I feel like if they knew the “real” me, everyone would leave me because they would rightfully be disgusted with me, and sometimes I just don’t know what to do.. sometimes i kinda learn to live with the doubt, I even told my sister and my friend, and they said that they still love me EVEN if I did it, but i’m afraid there’s always more I didn’t recall and if people knew the truth they would all hate me and leave me. And I feel like I can’t get help because I almost don’t even think it’s ocd, I think I really did do something terrible.. Im sorry if this post is a mess, I just don’t know what to do anymore..

I have not been diagnosed but every time I get an intrusive thought such as my parents finding out about a certain thing that I don’t want them to find out about, or my loved ones health I have to count down from 6 and if clock changes time then it will happen and if it doesn’t it won’t happen. Then there’s if I predict the time right the bad thing will happen (50:50 I predict it right half the time and not) and if it lands on the bad thing will happen I keep stressing over it. Sometimes when I say these bad things will happen it does, and I don’t know how to stop it. Has anyone had experience with this kind of behavior?

So I know a lot of people search for the cause of OCD so to speak. And while no known direct cause is really scientifically stated and it just seems to be a huge puzzle right now (like the human brain in general honestly), I'd like to talk about where I think my OCD roots from. I'm unsure why I'm posting this, writing my thoughts off probably. I digress, I think for me it started actually after getting bullied/isolated at school. I don't hear people on this app talking about this a lot but I bet a lot of us have been bullied/ignored/isolated before. I've read in a study before that the odds of developing OCD after bullying is from what I can recall 10 times more likely (I think it was even more). It was a higher odds than with depression, which shocked me at first because everyone knows that bullying can onset and that it increases the chance for that depression. But then I gave it a thought. The bullying made me become more perfectionistic, making me feel like I couldn't do anything right, lose self confidence, doubt myself a lot, etc. Perfect recipe for OCD, it sounds like. If anyone's interested I'll post below what my experiences at school were, but honestly I am more interested if many of you guys also went through something similiar.

how to deal with uncertainty about events you can’t particularly remember

After searching for a private therapist and having a hard time finding one that specialises in ocd I think I've managed to find someone, she has experience working with ocd patients one with harm ocd trained in cbt but doesn't seem to know much about erp. Also she's more of an online therapist uses Skype I worry it won't be affective what do you guys think? Has anyone had any experience with online therapy? She does do face to face but she's quite far away and I'm not ready to travel on a bus yet

any resources on Real Event OCD? Basically my OCD will make me remember things I said in the past, that were sexual (innuendos, jokes, conversations, etc) and make me answer the question “did you cheat?” or will say “you are a cheater because you said X.” The only relief I have found has been from 1) confessing things I said/did or 2) checking the message or figuring it out. I can only stop my thoughts when I say “I have already confessed that.” Or “checked that.” Yesterday I had a meltdown because I thought of something else I said to one of my guy friends and hadn’t confessed it - I basically made my boyfriend read 90% of my messages to this guy because I was so afraid I had cheated. My boyfriend said it wasn’t a big deal despite all the sexual jokes / innuendos / conversations. I was clear with this guy that I wasn’t single and we were usually just joking about stuff or just talking about it. So my boyfriend said “I don’t really care” with an exception that we cleared up. So you’d think I could say “well I already told him about it” but my OCD keeps saying “but what if this thing you said + didn’t confess really is cheating, you meant to turn him on, you were asking about stuff, that’s inappropriate, he would definitely dump you for this...” and if I don’t fix it, it threatens me with “you’re going to worry about this forever, you did something wrong and didn’t confess it, it must really be cheating if you don’t confess it because you’re keeping it a secret...” I am suffering so much ): I will take any advice at this point. I have been seeing a OCD therapist for about 3 months but can’t let go of this.

I feel so unlovable. After going through an abusive relationship and having my ex throw my past in my face, it really throws all my years of therapy out the window. I really am scared to open up again to anyone and i feel worthless. The current dialogue in my head really makes me feel like a crap person.

maybe a trigger for rocd-people: Right now I should be working on an essay I have to hand in but my thoughts drive me insane... for the last hour I‘ve searched the internet about the difference between (r)ocd and general anxiety disorder, because I wasn‘t sure, cuz maybe I do not have ocd and its just anxiety, which would mean that my worries about my boyfriend not being the right partner for me are indeed true... and I couldn‘t stop researching, it was so hard to close the browser because maybe maybe the piece of advice I was searching for would be behind the next link... Now I feel so fucking drained and tired and my head still keeps going: what if you do not have ocd, what if you are just acting that you have ocd, what if you do not love your boyfriend, what if my googeling is not reassurance seeking what if it’s just a way my mind is telling me that I do need to leave my boyfriend, what if rocd is not real ocd and everyone just pretends that it is, what if what if what if... and it‘s so fucking draining and I‘m so tired of it? any advice on what to do? (no reassurance obviously)

Hello Everyone! I could really use some support, or perhaps advice with how to deal with this! 3 nights ago, I was at a house party and a girl offered me her e-cigarette. I rarely smoke except for a select few occasions, but decided to take her up on it. I noticed a small red bump on her lip, and politely asked if she gets cold sores. My OCD revolves around contamination and a fear of illnesses, and I also wanted to be a bit safe. She replied with a no. Later that night, she explains to me that she LIED and didn’t think it was a big deal. I met this girl through a family friend and presumed I could trust her. We even both shared something in common: OCD. She blatantly lied to me, knowing about my fears, because she hated the “stigma of oral herpes”. At my expense. At this point... I am enraged. This entire incident has me giving into my compulsions... I am terrified I have it, and I am terrified I could spread the infection to my genitals. I was wondering if any of you ever had a similar experience? Or have cold sores and have any tips on how to resist compulsions? Am I taking the contagiousness of the virus way out of proportion due to my OCD? Or is it generally pretty serious? Any advice or support would be greatly appreciated! I know the disease is common and nothing to be ashamed about! I would just love some advice from someone who may be going through something similar. Thanks!

My anxiety is so bad right now should I go to the ER ?

No one just “has a little OCD,” just like no one “has a little schizophrenia” or “a little diabetes.” It’s important to not make light of a condition that affects so many people. Let’s keep spreading the word!?

Anyone here really struggle to sleep due to their ocd thoughts?

Any tips guys? ☹️ I’m going on holiday with my boyfriend tomorrow for 2 weeks and I need to NOT confess anything while I’m with him 24/7 ? how do you not confess something that you feel guilty about?

I read something where someone had TOCD and they actually became the opposite sex. I don’t want that to happen to me . I keeping begging god that I go back to normal . It’s freaking me out all of this . I literally feel like my heart is popping out of my chest because every time I get images of myself as the opposite sex I feel like a different person. I look unrecognizable, I feel sad . And I know if I did something like that I would regret it . But I really don’t know at the same time . I can’t do this . I’m supposed to see my psychiatrist today and I’m so afraid of what she will tell me