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the NOCD Community

Have people had a loss of aesthetic attraction to opposite sex after removing the intrusives thoughts and the anxiety from HOCD ?

Does anyone have experience of fluoxetine for OCD? I know someone who is on it for anxiety and it’s made a huge difference so far, and I think I’d like to give it a go but I’d just be interested in hearing others’ experiences. I also have emetophobia so the side effects of nausea is putting me off a little.

I like this app but unfortunately I just don't seem to get the support I need. Feel so alone. I see other people post and lots of people relate to what they are going through and always reply. I just don't seem to find that. (harm ocd sufferer) when I say hocd most people think I mean homosexual ocd. I know we aren't supposed to ask for reassurance and I'm not really just would be nice to find someone who suffers the same and gets what I'm going through.

I wake up every morning and it’s like the first thought is “you’re gay come out” like it’s not even triggered any more I guess it’s just there and I’m scared now that I’m not triggered it’s just the truth and I should come out. But I wanna be with a man.

How to explain to a friend what you’re going through without giving too much detail? Sometimes I want to open up and not keep all of my suffering inside. Although I haven’t decided if I want to just yet, any ideas of how to say it in a way that will make me feel comfortable might change my mind. Also, do you think friends should know what you’re going through? Thanks x

i was in the car on the way home from my grandmas house talking to my mom about my anxiety and how my grandma had OCD but that me and my siblings never really had it (keep in mind I haven’t told my mom about my HOCD yet). i was talking to her about how I think I have some OCD in me, hoping that she would say something along the lines of “yes you probably do!” but instead she said, “you may, but you probably just have OCD tendencies”. apparently you can have just ocd tendencies without having full blown OCD?? anyway, now i’m getting all worried that I don’t actually have HOCD and that all this is just a “tendency” and that i’m actually gay. this sucks. i just wish she knew. i wish i could tell her. i want to tell her so bad but i’m just so scared that she won’t understand. i honestly might just wait until i graduate high school (i’m going to be a senior) and just get an OCD therapist wherever I go to college so that i won’t have to worry about my parents finding out about me going to a therapist ugh. i feel so bad for not telling them but i am just so scared

I'm thinking of switching from my birth control pill to the non-hormonal IUD. I've been on the pill for almost 6 years, but lately I wonder whether the hormones are negatively affecting me. Some of the side effects of hormonal birth control are mood changes, depression, and decreased libido. There is also research that suggests the pill may alter some brain structures. Check it out: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/oral-contraceptive-pill-associated-changes-brain-structure/ I know that switching won't make all my anxiety disappear--I had anxiety before starting the pill. But it's possible the pill might be adding to these mental health issues I already have. For my fellow birth control users, how do you feel about the effects hormonal contraceptives could have on your OCD & mental health?

i had a pocd dream i think... i can't remember a lot of it but i'm scared..... in the dream i think i was using a child for sexual gratification or something i'm not sure. i'm feeling really anxious and disgusted

Can someone please give me some examples of Just Right OCD? I’m not sure, but I may have it.

Me going trough my snapchat memories and my photos from my life before hocd: ???????????????????? ???????????? Am i the only one who goes trough those and just wish that they could be there even if it was just for a sec and you compare yourself to how happy u were there and how sad you are now and u just even get more sad. The times before hocd were pure gold for me. Like they mean so freaking much to me now. Im so thankful for all the good times i had before this hell called hocd broke loose.

Ugh I can make myself suicidal in like 3-4 mins. From being perfectly fine. I don’t understand.. Ughhhh.......... <attention-status>

I don’t know ir this happens to anyone else, but everytime I see a really violent or disgusting new in TV or something I can’t get it off my head in all day, or even week. I have this now, and is really bothering me because when I saw the new, I was painting my room, and I just can’t stop thinking that when I finish painting, I will be like: Oh, remember?, when you were painting you saw that awful thing on the news. It always happens to me, when I buy myself clothing and I have an intrusive thought I’m like: Oh, now everytime I wear this I’m going to remember... I’m looking for a way to distract myself for that thought, to relax, or just see things in a more positive way, any recommendations?:(

Me before hocd : Omgg life finna be poppiinn, no one finna Touch me. One day ill find a boyfriend that loves me and i will find the cutest boy eeveeerrr and harry styles is my ultimate crush✨✨✨✨✨????? Me with hocd: im so done with this bitchass life like boii i dont find a single soul attractive, all i am is emptyness. Harry styles who? I dont feel anything towards him anymore. All my past crushes were fake i must like woman now. There is litteraly no proof to that i never even liked a girl i never thought of a girl in the way i thought about guys but still, im gay. ?

Who also feels like they will bever be able to love and fall in love with someone the way they wouldve before hocd. Like before hocd i was so down to be the best partner, i thought clear and i had plans for the future, life felt like a good dream and i was happy. But now with hocd all of it has been taken away from me. It feels like i will never et the expeirence of a boyfriend the way i wouldve before hocd. Like i will never like someone the way i would if hocd never happened. I wish i had a boyfriend before hocd so that maybe i couldve expierenced the real thing even if it was for a short time. I wish i wouldve gotten my first kiss before hocd. Now i feel like i will never be the real me and i will never be the wife or girlfriend my old me would be. Because i lost me. I wish so mch she would come back so i could be able to think clear and be me and i would live my dreams. All my dreams are gone. I have nothing i can be excited over. Everything is ruined by this. I feel like im missing out on soooo much. I know i am. I just want to have the expiernce i wouldve had if i didnt have hocd. I dont want to go in a relation ship where im feeling like this and i dont want a relationship at all if i wont be the me i was before hocd. I wanted a boyfriend so bad now i get anxiety of the thought only. I could talk about this forever about the regret of not having a boyfriend. Boys always were afraid tk hit me up but now im a bit older they do hit me up but it doesnt feel like it used to. It doesnt feel happy and fluttery anymore, i get anxious and scared. It feels like i will never have the expierence as i would have if i was the before hocd version of me.

I keep worrying. This sucks, I’m so confused. I keep wondering if I really am just in denial. The thing that scares me the most are those articles I’ve read about women who marry a man but they realize they’re lesbian or that they new it all along but ignored the thought. What if that’s what I’m doing? What if I’m actually in denial? I just want this to stop. I hate it because I don’t get anxiety anymore. Only yesterday when I read those post about women who are married to men but are lesbian, I started to sweat and panic so bad. But only the thoughts are left here. With no feeling, only the feeling of being afraid. Anyone else feel this way?

Would love to make a friend in here someone I can talk too away from the app, possibly a harm ocd sufferer?

Is there anyone who doesnt feel themselves anymore, lost their passions for everything like music, clothing, makeup. Just complete emptyness inside because of this. My life flipped upsdie down because of Hocd

I need to share something i have never told anyone. I watched lesbian porn from a young age because I thought i was attracted to it. I started at 8 years old Becauss I felt like i had to watch it to ease my anxiety. At first i thought i enjoyed it but i was wrong. I was so confused growing up because I didn't know what this porn obsession meant. All i knew was that I wasn't gay, but i supported the lgbt and had no problems with thr community, & was only attracted to boys but i Always had a voice in my head that told me to watch the porn and no matter how hard i tried not too the anxietu got worse until i couldnt breathe and i had a panic attack so i had to give in. The porn i watched was mostly disgusting fetishes that at the time i thought I enjoyed but that turned out to be fake arousal. I am disgusted by these memories now. I haven't watched lesbian porn in over a year and I feel amazing. It has actually helped me so much to reconnect with myself, Realise thst im only attracted to men + my attrcation for them is better then ever, find out who i am and most importantly realise that this is a condition and these thoughts and compulsions are not what i want. I now know i have hocd and its like everything just makes sense and has clicked into space. When I in primary school i developed an anxiety disorder, and i think i developed ocd around the same time too, Because i have all these false memories of doing sexual things with ny girls from my promary school and it maked me feel sick :( and when i went to high school i was severly bullied about the way i look and this lead me to think i was ugly and i wanted to look like all the other girls so i began to hate myself and the way i look. I still do now. I think this is how my hocd started because now i find myself looking at othet girls all the time. I get a voice in my head that says "i like the way they look," in a sexual manner and then i get a groinal response, and then I find myself thinking "im not attracted to them, I just wish i looked like them" so i think this is why my ocd started due to anxiety at a young age, i also think i developed ocd and hocd as young as 5 years old, if thats possible? I just needed to get this out because watching the porn has left me disgusted with myself, and im trying to move on and not allow my head to make me feel like i liked watching it. does that make sense? is there anyone else who has had a porn addiction over the same sex but stopped watching it? I just want to feel like im not alone. thank you for reading. im shaking right now.

so my ocd is so bad right now. I ran out of my antidepressants and couldn't get anymore so i have been withdrawing and i feel horrendous. im so paranoid, im full of intrusive thoughts and images and words that keep popping up in my head. The worst part is my hocd was doing ok untill now and now my brain keeps trying to convince me that i want to touch my family, and im doing checks on girls again :( my hocd came back in full force because i was on twitter, and there was a picture of a woman and thong. my mind tried to make me think i was aroused and i liked it but i wasn't in the slightest. But now my hocd is back too making me panic yet again and the intrusive thoughts are unbearable. Is this all because of my tablets? is that why my hocd is so bad right now?

So I'm kind of fighting this baddle alone in my head, I feel like I'm going crazy now that I actually think about it, let me explain. So I think I have ocd but I'm confused, during the day it barely ever bothers me to the point where I barely notice it , but at night before I go to bed I feel like everything has to be in it's place. Nothing out of place, nothing out of place , nothing out of place. Everything has to be perfectly straight EVERY THING. Certain things I have to do a certain amount of times. Some things I MUST do everyday. I've tried to talk to my parents about it, but they just blow it off saying it's no big deal, they don't understand what I'm going through ,just to go to bed is at times like a warzone. I sometimes walk from my bathroom after brushing my teeth with my eyes closed so I can't see anything out of place because if I do it's like Domino's I see one thing after another that's out of place, some things idk why they look out of place and I spend a lot of time just moving them back and forth and back and forth till my brain finally sais it's fixed. I asked my dad if I could stay in his and mom's room for the night, because I am less urged to stay up all night cleaning when I'm distracted by other people or when I know "Hay if u stay up cleaning their going to be Mad at you". And it sounds wierd coming from your 14 year old daughter to ask such a thing, at this age you should be old enough to manage your own nightmares you know what I mean?? He told me to ask mom , mostly because he was half asleep and ready to go to bed. That eavning when me and Mom were sitting across from each other , I couldn't come up with the courage to ask , it was too wierd , too stupid, too crazy of a consept to even try to explain. So I went outside on the back porch and cried , she came out and asked me what was wrong and I said nothing, after trying to explain to dad I just wanted to be alone. Of course she wouldn't leave she asked again till I finally told her, " I, I think I have OCD and I , don't know how to handle it, I mean" I continued," I stayed up till 3:00 last night fixing things I thought were crooked or out of place" I couldn't talk any more without choking ip so I stopped. She said to me " well OCD isn't bad , it has it's benifits you know" I shrug , wondering how such an annoyance could be helpful in any way. "Well I was just making sure you were ok" she said going back into the house. I wanted desperately for her to stay out there with me talk about it and possibly go over some stuff that could help, bit we didn't. Now don't get me wrong my parents are amazing they love their kids very much and are always there for us, they just don't understand. So after a late night of reaserch , joining an ameno, joining this app ,and of course YouTube , I am already feeling better. It's only been 2 days or less but I realized that giving in isn't helping and am taking it day by day, I feel crazy yes , sometimes I question if I'm just going crazy but. I know I can do it. Please share your tips on this desease?? I don't know what the technical turn for it is. But tips would be greatly appreciated. Also thank you for listening to my rant.