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Fear of revenge porn against me has triggered an OCD checking urge to check porn sites or google with different key words of my name and description (for example I’m Turkish so I would put keywords like Turkish slut or something). I received no threat from my narcissist ex, but he did tell me that he could’ve sent mail to my parents but he’s not an evil person and for my sake he wouldn’t. He’s a lawyer so I told him he knows that’s illegal and he said yes and then tried to downplay what he said saying it’s just my parents. I shut him up when I said my dad wouldn’t be mad at me he would be mad and go find him instead. He wrote a mean email once after I bashed him to mutual friends telling me to stay away because I shouldn’t awake the monster inside of him. He didn’t state specifics in the email but of course he knows it triggers my ocd. I keep reading about how narcissists have no feelings and lie, and are known to post revenge porn so that’s what makes me doubt. I haven’t been checking online but I just have the urge. He doesn’t have anything with my face I don’t think but he had fetishes with me masturbating and when we were long distance he wanted me to strip and masturbate for him on Skype. I never heard him take a screenshot but who knows. He’s completely blocked now. My mom doesn’t think he would do anything and just tells me to ignore but I hate myself for trusting him. When I was under his spell I was oblivious to all. When I found his double life and lies I started wondering what else is he capable of. Overall I’m just trying to recover from horrible narcissistic abuse and move on with my life. If he ever contacts me again I’m afraid if I’m mean or piss him off he will retaliate and I don’t wanna be afraid to stand up for myself. He’s a parasite.

Let me go

Tw for people who have HOCD. I recently accepted the fact that I really am bisexual and that's okay. ? I love my husband and nothing will change that. I used to think it was HOCD but after the thought of being attracted to women stopped scaring me, the fears went away but the attraction didn't. So it's no longer a cause for distress and is just a part of me that I've accepted and made peace with. ? However, the one downside of this is, because one of my OCD themes ended up being true, I now have thoughts like "What if they're ALL true? What if every other OCD theme including your POCD is true??" Anyone else in a similar situation?

Im not gay right??? Ive done erp before and it was going well but something big happened and now im wondering when i did erp i was afraid and didn't feel a attraction to girls (i have hocd)

Can’t stop thinking about killing people and death and what life means . I feel like I’m not as scared of the thoughts as I should be . I’m getting anxious about it however at the same I’m not as afraid idk why . My mind keeps telling me that I like it and I should try it to find out and that death is not a bad thing and killing isn’t that bad . Idk but it’s making me more depressed than anxious. I honestly can’t find a reason to live anymore I leave for vacation tomorrow and I’m still the same . I’m excited but I feel like my brain will ruin everything... if god is real why don’t o deserve happiness? What did I do that was so wrong?

After being drained by an emotional vampire (narcissistic ex) and now home and jobless with my parents and a grandmother who drains all of us emotionally as well with her cries for attention and negative yelling all day, I’m completely drained. I’m hoping the market improves and I find work soon but I find myself unmotivated and barely leaving my bed. I’m eating and watching Netflix. Everything is just too much. I didn’t even shower for 2 days this week during the time I was trying to get closure from the narcissist and not getting any obviously. Finally discarded him for good. My friends are here and there but no one I can consistently talk to. I’ve been abroad so it’s kind of like out of sight out of mind. I have plans this weekend with an old friend but even that I’m exhausted for. Not sure how to get my energy back. Years of work in therapy on my self esteem and sanity and it’s all gone now after one guy and now made worse by my grandmother.

Please help a struggling person This is going to be long and i apologize. Since about 11 I’ve been treated for bipolar disorder and no antipsychotics ever had any effect on me. All made me feel lucid or zombie like. Recently a psychiatrist diagnosed me with ocd and adhd and told me that the two illnesses together can present as bipolar disorder and that’s probably why i was misdiagnosed the majority of my life. I’ve come at a cross roads in my life. I desperately need help but only see my psychiatrist once a month which doesn’t really help. I’m not really a therapy person either. Can someone please help me out and tell me if I’m crazy or if they’ve had similar experiences?? My freshman year i had a 4.0 and was excited at the thought of becoming a med student in the future. Now that it’s summer I’m spiraling. I’m so angry all the time. I won’t let anyone see me or talk to anyone. Im so afraid I’m not good enough and my thoughts consume me. Im constantly worried about the future and have vivid day dreaming episodes of where I’ll end up and how I’m going to fail. I won’t go out and have gained weight and now i constant obsess about my weight and won’t let anyone see me because of what i look like. My thoughts are in patterns and repeat and repeat and won’t go away. I can’t even function anymore. All i do is lay in my bed and think. It’s like a bad movie that won’t turn off. I also won’t allow myself to experience any sort of love connection because I’m terrified of confirming or denying my sexuality. My brain is constant and i feel like there’s nothing that i can do to ever turn it off and feel normal. My intrusive thoughts and starting to become my only thoughts. This panic state has been my state for about 3 weeks now. Can someone give some advice?

Any registered nurses on here?! Any tips for dealing with contamination ocd related to the job?! :)

My gene pools trash. Bipolar, ocd, anxiety, general depression, schizophrenia, a little cancer, manic depression pretty much you name it and it most likely runs in my immediate family. I have so many thoughts and have yet to pin point what’s wrong. So far I’ll I’ve gotten from my psychiatrist is anxiety and depression. I stopped therapy for a while and I have no one else to I guess tell this to so yeah.

Why does this feel so real?

I am very new to dealing with my OCD. I mentioned in an earlier topic that there is a word that bothers me. If it is said around me I have to shower and wash all my clothes. And those clothes are forever contaminated. It started with one shirt and since I started with that it has grown to more and more things being contaminated. What would my at home treatment for this be? What would the exposure be? The word I guess but how do I work on it and not feel like all my clothes are ruined?

can OCD develop later on in life?? i’m 17 and have always had rlly bad anxiety and i guess i’ve always known i had a little bit of OCD (since anxiety and ocd are closely related) but the OCD part of it has never been this bad. i would always worry, get reassurance from wherever i could, and that would kinda be the end of it. it’s never ever been like this before or hit me like this before. it’s almost like my anxiety has somehow turned into OCD throughout the years. is that possible?? can OCD develop or at least become way more noticeable later in life?

*me preparing to share with loved ones or friends about my mental illness* *taking a deep breath and being brave* me: “So... I wanted to share something deep with you. I have recently been struggling with OCD.” them: “OH MY GOD ME TOO!!!! I hAtE iT wHeN tHiNgS aRe NoT cLeAn!!!!!!!!!”

how do I tell my family I have ocd?? . I'm 20, I see them pretty much everyday and it puts a strain on my relationships with them because they have no clue what's going on with me. My mom (amazing mom but... ) can come across cold it's just her personality, she's had a hard life from many external factors and so she doesn't really understand mental illness and how someone can be 'unhappy' when they have a comfortable life. I come from a family of very very strong women and if I told them I feel like they'd just think it was an excuse/attention seeking. They're supportive people but not very understanding in mental health. I already feel very different to my family just based on my personality/values/view of life - this could potentially make me even more of a distance from them no??? how do I even tell someone I have ocd do I just say it???? pls and insight any1 can give soooooooo appreciated thank you

I had an intrusive image and got a groinal response... back to square one ?

I have seen some answer to worried people in SOOCD and HOCD posts like: "Just be yourself!" "If you feel so convinced then you are!" "There is a lot of sexualities out there that you can choose." Is okay to not give reassurance. Is not okay to trigger people that is asking for help.

I’ve had HOCD for nearly 2 years now. For the last few months I had a pretty good handle on it. But last week it totally came back!... Except this time I am totally convinced it is real same-sex attraction and desires. This is terrible... one minute I was straight and the next, bi or gay. Like I just turned magically right like that. I don’t know if it’s real or not, because how could it be? How can you turn from straight to something else? And the worst thing is, the attraction was toward my good friend, with whom I’m rooming next year at college for freshman year! Sorry if I seem obnoxious. I cannot live like this

I’m new here. I have dealt with different themes of obsessions but lately I have been worried about hurting my kids or spouse or someone around me. Ive had extremely distressing time for the past two weeks and feels like all I think about. I’ve never had this before and it’s so scary. I don’t want anything to happen to them. I fear losing control. They just switched me from Lexapro to Effexor so I’m dealing with the physical as well. Anyone overcome this?

I'm writing this again. Because my post just got marked as spam. My ocd clinic told me to expose myself with all of my intrusive thoughts. Let's all fucking do it and let all these gross vile scary horrible thoughts out under this post. Guys, help me out with my exposure therapy! Let's write our intrusive thoughts on this post. Eg, I want the devil to possess my mum. I want the devil to possess my nephew. I want the devil to possess me. Help me out guys! Write yours on here. I want to be sexual with inappropriate person. The more disturbing your thoughts are, the more likely I am to write all of mine under here too. And if you mark this as spam, it's only making my exposure better, and making yours worse. Because you've basically told me my thoughts are wrong even tho I want to be reassured that they're just thoughts. Let's be brave. Come on.

A reminder to HOCD sufferers who keep “testing” their sexuality: “A 2015 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology undermines long held beliefs about heteronormative sexual orientation. The study looks at gender expression in women and measures their physiological response viewing a variety of pornographic material. It found that, regardless of how women self report their sexuality, their bodies respond positively to both hetero- and homosexual sex. Meaning, women's sexuality is complex and not within the bounds of strict hetero- or homosexuality.” https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/ypa7vk/straight-people-dont-exist-new-research-says