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the NOCD Community

I'm posting a lot today but I need to get some thoughts out. I'm scared of life. The fact that we meet people who come in and out of our lives like it's a game. The fact that we can get ill at any given moment, or die under any circumstance at any given moment. We all try and be loved but the people we're trying to get to love us, are too busy trying to love themselves. Sight, sound, smell, texture, taste, we're all just living things in this strange environment. Absorbing everything in a very strange way. We are all doing things to get by, to have a roof over our heads, and food in our belly. We live in a world where beauty is more important than your soul. And what is beauty? It's what society has made it be. What we have adapted to like. And people get judged forever for making mistakes, but the thing they made a mistake on, probably isn't suffering as much as the person who made the mistake. I feel sorry for so many people, and I wish I had no anxiety so I could go and sit next to homeless people and give them a hug and tell them they are just as worthy as the queen. We all have different mind sets, different ways we have lived that have bought us to where we are today, and who we are today. Switch places with anyone's brain and you'd be the exact same as them, so how can anyone judge anyone? Sorry this is a long post, but life is terrifying, all of what everyone goes through, noone needs to feel less than anyone else. Everyone has so much to learn, but what happens with all our knowledge when we're on our death bed? Sorry for this depression, but, life is terrifying.

Anyone else think that our culture today wants everyone to be gay?

Ocd... its confusing, it’s a doubting disease that makes you go through hell. I am never sure what I am, what if I’m a lesbian?? What an annoying thought. If I could pull it out of my brain I would. Nobody wants to question their sexuality when they know who they are. Everyday is a struggle. Never actually being certain about a thought destroys you. You just want a 100% answer, yeah me too. We’re never going to get a 100% answer though. We will be uncertain for awhile. “So accept it”, that’s what everyone says. It’s hard to do that though. You think I don’t want to accept it that’s not me and if I accept it then I might be that way. Nope, no you won’t. Obviously I can’t get that through my head either but I’m trying. Intrusive thoughts destroy us everyday, but why can’t we destroy intrusive thoughts instead? Why can’t we show the thoughts who’s stronger?? Sit with the thoughts don’t fight them. Don’t ruminate try your hardest not to do any compulsions. Also remember if you don’t feel as much an anxiety anymore (like me) it’s ok. It might make you question if you even have ocd. Remember in the beginning when you cried more than ever? You had terrible anxiety, yeah that was before you started getting used to the thoughts. WHO CARES ABOUT IT ANYMORE LETS SHOW OCD WHOSE BOSS

Every time I look at myself or think about myself my brain says it’s not me . Or someone says my name my brain says it’s not me . Is this ocd ?

Please can someone tell me if this could be my OCD too...So a few days ago I stumbled across a video about narcissists on youtube and I discovered my boyfriend has some traits. All of my OCD themes are relathionship related because of this extreme fear of losing him. I've developed cheating OCD because he was so jelaous at the begining of our relathionship that till this day I'm afraid to even think someone else is handsome. I would never ever cheat on him. And important to say is that for like 7 years things were very good, he wasn't jelaous anymore, he was sweet and kind to me. He has moments when he's jelaous but it is because of my stupid confession compulsion!!! But ever since I found out he has some narcissistic traits I can't stop watching videos about it and reading about it. It's all I think about 24/7. The thing is all of this videos and articles are extremely negative. They all say that people like that are manipulative, unable to love....as I said he has some traits but I just can't believe he doesn't love me and that he is that monsterous being without a trace of empathy! This has now twisted my brain so much I feel like I don't know the person I've been with for 10 years! Everything he does or says my brain is like: "That's what a narcissist would say." or when he's hugging me and is nice and caring I get the thought :"He's lying to manipulate you." Can someone please tell me, could this possibly be OCD again cause I see I do ruminate about it 24/7 and I research about it constantly!! I'm so depressed, I can't escape this hopeless feeling.

Anyone else feel like they don’t know who they are?

Anyone have anxiety at nite and cant sleep till a certain time

What’s an exposure I can do for physical symptoms? Part of my OCD/anxiety is getting brain fog, tension in my body that associate bad thoughts of going crazy, never getting peace, never experiencing happiness again.

I’m starting to feel asexual now shit it feels so real ?

I feel so alone.

Hi guys. I'm new here. My main obsessions revolve about memories from my past (Real Event OCD) Guilt and Shame. It is a tricky one. Does anybody else deal mainly with this theme?

What are examples for erp for pocd

Options from people? Today our pest control service came over and touched rodent bait blocks and touched mouse droppings with his bare hands. Then he touched our front door. Then I touched the doorknob then my car door. I wiped down both door handles with a Lysol wipes, is that enough? Is this a reasonable place to stop the compulsion? Or does this merit more caution?

Another boy turned me on today instead of my bf and I’m scared that means something

How long does it take to recover from betrayal? The guy I thought I was going to marry was emotionally abusing me hot and cold, resenting me from a drunk outburst I had. The behavior made me do some digging and found out he had a wife and 2 kids all along. His other ex who left him because of this sent me screenshots of him telling her I was maybe a rebound and he didn’t want to be alone and he loves her. Right before our breakup he was telling me he never loved anyone as much as me. Then he would randomly lash out and remember the past and want to break up. It’s a pattern that happened for months now. Despite everything, my self esteem is so down and I still love this guy. I know it’s over now but I’m still in denial and feel so alone and lost. I lost my job and got so dependent and attached to him and he flew me home to see my family. I found out while here and was going to go back to him in Dubai when the summer was over. A week has went by and I’m still depressed and crying. Even when he officially broke up he turned it around and blamed me for the past and said I held on and begged for nothing all this time. So all his I love yous were just fake. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I can never trust anyone again.

what are some of your mental compulsions? I have relationship OCD but I can’t think of many compulsions I have, so does that mean I have pure O?

Anyone here with hocd that used to watch lesbian porn? I used to and now it totally freaks me out thinking that I want them. But I don’t. I haven’t watched porn in months, since this all started! I just tried watching male masturbation porn and it didn’t really turn me on...now all I can think is that female porn would... before it was never an issue, I never thought twice about it, and now I can’t stop thinking about it. Just wanna know if anyone is in the same boat? Is it possible to be turned on sexually but not wanna be with someone, at all, at the same time?

Hello, everyone. I apologize in advance for any ignorance I showcase. Okay, I am new to this platform and new to OCD in general, so any information regarding the disorder is greatly appreciated. I am here on account of my behavior over the last couple of years and attempting to figure out if I may or may not have OCD. I did some research and here are some of my symptoms: (trying to be specific) - Items that I deem to be infected or unclean, creates an uneasy feeling in me. I don't feel like I'll get a disease or something by touching those items, but I will flip out if I come into contact with those items. I end up either avoiding those items forever or cleaning them until I feel just right. - Checking, although very inconsistent. Only happens on occasion and extremely random. Ex. Checking if door is locked until I feel just right. "Just right" = perfect click, perfect feel, hands placed in the right spot, etc. Could range from 1 attempt to infinty. - Hand Washing. This is by far what I do the most. I wash my hands until my skin is extremely dry and won't stop even when it starts to hurt. I have to feel just right about the wash, any error causes me to wash my hands again. - Perfectionism. I'm not much of a tidy person, but I decided to add this one anyway. Can't hurt. There are certain things that always need to be perfect, I don't know why, but they need to be just right. Ex. Pens in my pen case all need to face the same direction. If they are not, It will be all I think about until I change it. Thank you, to anyone that responds. It will be greatly appreciated. Once again I apologize for any ignorant comments in the above paragraphs.

When did your ocd start? Mine started when i was like 7 i guess and then it got much worse when i turned 12 and i got my diagnosis when i was 14

Who else is struggling with false memory related to night involving alcohol?