Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I’m shaking. Just found out my boyfriend of almost a year has a wife and kids in his home country of Egypt. I had someone look for his Facebook and it turns out he was hiding his Facebook from me the entire time. He turned emotionally abusive and I was dependent on him after I lost my job. He told me he wanted to marry me and have my kids, would go hot and cold between me being the love of his life and him lashing out and being resentful to me. When I confronted him about Facebook that’s when he tried to leave for good and said he was in another relationship, and when I found the family pics that’s when he blocked me. I will have trust issues for life. I can’t believe what’s happening I’m in shock shaking.

(HELP PLEASE) So my depersonalization/derealization has gotten so bad I’m actually scared for my life and I don’t know if I’m ever going to go back to normal I’m freaking out about it. I feel so unreal and vision is so blurry, I feel like I can go insane any second and that feeling is causing me so MUCH anxiety. I don’t know what to do anymore guys, this is a HORRIBLE theme I’m having because it’s not just mental, it’s physical, I feel so many ugly symptoms because of the derealization! Help someone please!

Does anyone ever have bad thoughts that you don’t mean but then they race so quickly that you end up doubting if u meant them or not? Really confused? also I’m a Christian so my bad thoughts all mostly revolve around that. Lots of doubt too.

There has been 2 birthday party’s for two people that I consider to be my some of my best friends that I haven’t been invited to. I feel like me being clingy and asking if people are mad at me and my ocd makes people not like me or hanging out with me. I just wish it would all go away and I could get invited to do stuff like a normal 14 year old.

Anyone else who is pure O confused on how to do ERP? If you have harm OCD do you intentionally think about harming someone??

Is anyone else’s primary compulsion googling, reading articles, taking quizzes, etc? Any tips on how to stop/limit these urges to engage in compulsion?

Any dominican with ocd?

i’m going on a 2 week mission trip in july and i’m so scared about how i’m gonna do without any electronics or anything (we aren’t allowed to bring any devices). my worst anxiety episodes happen when i’m free of distraction (like in bed or something) and i’m just so afraid that i’m gonna be really anxious throughout the whole trip. usually whenever i get anxious i try my best to sit in it and expose myself to it and NOT do compulsions, but once it has kind of subsided and i’m feeling better, i go on this app or something to kind of “cool down” i guess. does that make any sense lol. anyway, i’m just worried that bc it’s just going to be me and my thoughts for 2 weeks, i’ll have so many anxious thoughts and i won’t have anywhere or anyone to talk to about it (like i do here)—which i’m worried will make it worse. i don’t even know what i’m asking right now,,, i just don’t want my trip to be ruined or me not getting the most out of it because of my thoughts and anxiety. so i guess i’m asking if you have any advice or insights?? anything will help :))

Does anyone out there obsess about sins and if you’ve committed sin? And get bad thoughts in your head that could become sinful if you don’t blink really hard or repeat things to yourself ? It gets to a point where I cry and cry about it cause I can’t see anything clearly. I’m always questioning.

Would body dysmorphia be, for example, seeing a picture of yourself and not believing it’s you? like you know it’s you but it’s just hard to truly believe it’s you?

I’m baffled at this disorder. Honestly just baffled that one single thought won’t go away no matter how many times I sit through the discomfort and exposures and don’t do the reassuring. I feel a lot better than I did a month ago but the thoughts are still there. Even when I don’t have the thought I think about how I don’t have the thought and start to have the thought. It’s exhausting. I miss my life before.

Whenever I confess and think I get relief and reassurance it just gets worse and I remember a detail I forgot to add, as if it would change anything, and then remember other things to confess and start a new obsession. What a horrible vicious cycle ?

Guys!! I really need your help. I've been feeling good for the 1st time ever. No anxiety, no thoughts Like what if I don't love him. Even when i saw him my brain said he's ugly, and i said so what? Let him be ugly and I enjoed looking at him thru video call. Then he sent pics, and i expected myself to get some feeling and i didn't so i said it's fine. He looks good to me. I've experienced rocd for 2 months, no therapy, no medicine. I just prayed. Ik many of y'all aren't religious but i am somewhat. Anyway I'm scared now that this wasn't rocd. I've seen people suffer for 1 year.. and i feel better in 2 months... Now I'm wondering and a bit scared. That all those thoughts that you don't love him is true... Omg I'll have to breakup... Seee.. I didn't get any anxiety thinking or typing that.. what is this crap

Why does my resentful boyfriend not break up with me, but he always tells me to leave him instead? He is hot and cold, one minute I’m the love of his life, the next he says I ruined his life and brings up the past. Then he tells me he can’t get over the past and he will never be the same so for my sake I should just leave (the past is a series of fights and mental breakdowns I had after I lost my job. He’s a quiet guy so he’s never seen such behavior from a girl and it affected him badly. I’ve owned up to it and apologized and now take all of his resentful lash outs)

I’m in my late 20s and when I was 6 years old I remember being in bed with a buddy and I pretended to hump him pretending it was a girl. 20 years later that moment causes me a lot of distress with HOCD. Even tho the thoughts never bothered me in past and I been attracted to girls and been in intimate relations with women why does that one moment bother me so much. The exposure therapy works for looking at pics of men but I can’t seem to fathom that one. What is y’all a advice?

Help me

Peeps with rocd, do you guys ever get thoughts/feelings of irritation of why does my partner love and cares for me so much and why does he wants to be with me. Or is it only me?

Does anyone else feel like they have lost their attraction for men and you can’t even imagine being with one? I am so scared because my brain keeps telling me that I am never going to fall in love with a man but I have always wanted to be with men my entire life and instead I am going to fall in love with a women and be happier. Ugghhh can anyone else relate?

Wondering if anyone’s had any experience with hallucinogenics and helping their OCD? I have Pure O with harm as my main theme and was thinking about microdosing shrooms. Any thoughts?

I’m writing this even if I don’t know weather I really suffer from a mental illness or I’m just a real monster,narcissist,sinner,.. i’m writing it while i don’t know wither if I’m really suffering and dad or I’m just numb i just wrote it because i will explode if i stay silent...when i was young i have no friend only some of my older brother’s friends they are really bad they had sex with me soo many times and when i grow up I continued having sex with my gender without feeling any shame or guilt and it reached that i had sex one time in a church and i didn’t feel guilty after it...in this period of my life one i was sitting in my aunts house and i slept beside her with all sexuall thought in my head as if a monster or an uncontrolled animal... but in some point i stopped all of that i promised myself not to have sex with boys anymore and i should be a new human...and time passed and life was soo good and i never remimbered the old life and mistakes i did in the past... after this period my bestfriend died of cancer and i felt nothing!!! I felt numb!! I didn’t fell sad !! But i overcomed this by saying that i can do nothing about it ...until i knew the most beautiful girl when i see her beauty inside, her morals,her pureness, i feel like I can’t even deserve to know her...she loved me but she didint know any of these things ..but I became a new human snd i will not return to who i was again ...but my brain didn’t let me .. a devil’s thoughts started to came to my brain.. sexuall thoughts about any thing in this life..mom,dad,brother,a baby, a child,dog,cat even my dead best friend,martyrs of church,anything 
I think sexually about god about everything and i feel it and sometimes i feel that i’m who bring these thoughts or feel that i have a really bad imagination that imagine things these way..and i thought in extremes so every time a bring extreme thing like all these thoughts...my culture is so religious and good people who love and respect i feel that i don’t deserve life ..how dare me to think these thoughts andd sometimes i didint care much 
..my community is far away from these and i feel like I’m the only person between them .. the worsest of then didn’t do one thing that i did.. i’m comparing my self with them and i always lose no one did what i did no one think what i think Not just sexual thinking in different bad ways that’s makes me afraid that is not ocd

i look at people as heroes and all i wish to be one of them.. I’m really a perfectionist and all of the way opposite to anything perfect i see myself as the worst..i hate feeling that i dont care i hate all of these nightmares... i destroyed all the things love relationships,purity even a death for my bestfriend that all his friends still love and respect and remember ... also I remember that I didn’t love before or know what is love.i’m a mess 
.all i know that I don’t wanted to be a monster or do make all of these mistakes Or to be a mess i want if i’m w monster to turn to a good human and if i’m numb and have no feeling to love and respect.. if I’m narcissist I respect others and care for them..if i’m the devil itself to turn to a good human being i just don’t want to be this bad but word (if) just a dream and i cant do anything 
 I feel like I don’t know what is love so I don’t love and there is nothing real soo that’s why these thought isn’t ocd ,these thoughts because you don’t love your dad or mom or your friend so you think of them that way i reallu don’t understand anything
I’m sorry.