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the NOCD Community

my thoughs (ocd pure) just did dissapear, but there's something like, "something is wrong", i feel bad but i don't have bad thoughts, it's like if i ended up a problem but the sensation stays here, help?

HOCD people. I am doing more exposure therapy. Its been over a decade and only now am I really dealing with this in a meaningful way. I actually went to a massage center and they only had a male masseuse available. I usually would say no. I was able to get through the whole thing with almost no discomfort. I would have been a wreck before. I'm really happy for you others who share your story. I always doubted if I really had OCD or not, and having a community makes it so much easier. Thank you guys for making treatment possible

Guys I'm very interested in your opinion as OCD patients, especially opinion of those who have therapists. I would like to know if my therapist is doing something good or bad for me as an OCD patient, and do you think he is the right choice for treating my condition. So my therapist is not actually a pshychologist, he is an NLP coach. Something like a life coach. He helped me a lot before with my social anxiety before I had OCD. But now, not only that he completely ignored when I said I have OCD, he thinks that treating the root of what caused my condition (which he refuse to call OCD) is what will help me. The root is fear of abandoment by my partner and extremely low self asteem. I know that is true but everytime I bring up my OCD it's almost like he's annoyed by that and he accused me of doing that to myself like I don't want OCD to stop! Now he wants me to talk to my partner about my fears, but I'm just not ready. I'm in such vulnerable state of mind I just can't do that. I will when I get a bit better, but right now I can't, and everytime I come to the session and I say I haven't spoke to my partner he is upset at me. The most important part is he just doesn't take OCD seriousy. I said it and he's like: "well maybe you do have OCD but that's not important." How is that not important?? Can you guys please give me advice, should I stop going to his sessions or is he doing the right thing by making me speak to my partner about that fear? I mean, he's pretty much expensive and my condition isn't changed at all.

Do you guys have periods through out the day where u dont obsess/ruminate over anything and just feel “normal” again and involved in the current moment? Or is it constant from the time you wake to the time you fall asleep

Has anyone ever had ocd focus on the devil? Whenever I watch a show where they portray him as wounded or the good guy I start to believe it myself, like start questioning if Satan was bad or if God was unfair about punishing him. It's driving me insane because I keep obsessing over how I'll get possessed or turn into a horrible person because of these thoughts. But I don't know how to get rid of them or how to do any exposure in this situation cause even though I'm not a believer in God, I fear evil, and I can't touch it even if it helps. All I do is compulsively pray and beg God for forgiveness and I hate the cycle but don't know how to break it.

Do you think ocd can make you manic? Sometimes I get into checking things etc and I don't want to rest until everything is done. I can stay awake for a few days, not without feeling like a zombie, but then you get past a certain point and you're wired and can't sleep even though you have been up for ages. I just hope I haven't got bipolar like my mum. I personally think I have autism and ocd, just wondering if any others of you get manic with your ocd?

My brains thoughts are switching a lot lately.. I still wish the thoughts weren’t there but the more I say fuck you to them, the less it brings up more thoughts. Recently all my thoughts have been in the form of “you probably would” for sexual obsessions, which I think is because I’m insecure about how sexual I am even though all I do is masturbate, I’ve never watched proper porn just like sex scenes but my brains making me feel bad for me starting to be sexual from a young age.. so eg when I was about 10, I was on a website called habbo and obviously didn’t know what I was doing or what sex properly was, but someone basically was pretending to flirt and kiss with me etc and I can’t remember what else happened but my brains making me feel guilty about it.. I’m choosing to disregard it cause I can’t change the past and I know I’ll get over it but how do I deal with my brain doing this to me all the time?

I feel like my eyes are constantly moving. It feels like they’re constantly straining, rolling, and crossing; even when I sleep. I can’t sleep because of this and I get terrible headaches during the day because of this. This started just a few days ago and it’s been really hard focusing and going through my daily tasks. If anyone knows what I can do to end this please respond. I appreciate it and love all that you guys do to help!

Hello who's around?

I’m confused why I can’t imagine having a boyfriend! It’s kinda causing me so distress because I really want some and then their is another part of me that’s like no you don’t is this my anxiety or just me or could I be asexual? I also suffer from hocd

*Potentially triggering to those with Harm OCD* Hey there and thank you for reading my post. Anyone with any advice to offer would be much, much appreciated. A little context - I'm in my 30s and I've been an OCD sufferer since I was in my early teens. I had everything from moral/religious OCD obsessions to POCD. In the beginning, when I was a teenager, I had some harm OCD stuff where I would see violent images of people that I cared about, but for the most part, my OCD has centered on sexual fears and related moral concerns. I've had severe POCD obsessions for a good part of my life and they are lessening now (thank goodness). I've been married for just under a year and my wife is very understanding of my OCD. I love her. This is the first time I've been married (hopefully the only time I ever will be) and I hadn't been in many relationships before we got married so I'm always trying to figure out how to navigate management of my OCD with her and also just how to manage personality differences between myself and her. I think I'm a good husband. I certainly try to be the best one that I know how to be in big and small ways. Recently, we've had some worldview/political discussions that have led me to think that there are some fundamental differences between us. I've shared this concern with her and she doesn't seem to mind. The main reason I bring up things like this to her is for transparency. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I feel like she needs to know everything about me so that I'm not hiding things and she can make informed decisions about our relationship. This is likely an OCD concern. As is the case with any couple, some of our disagreements have led to me getting angry or frustrated. I'm not the type of person to express my anger outwardly. I can't imagine ever being anything remotely approaching verbally abusive to her. I know it's not healthy, but I sometimes just bottle up the feelings. One night, I found myself feeling really frustrated by a discussion we were having. I was driving at the time and I remember having an awful, awful, dark thought while at an intersection as I about to make a left hand turn. It was, "instead you could pull out in front of this oncoming car as it's approaching and it would hurt both of you". I was feeling frustrated and angry about our conversation. I also don't remember the car being so close to where I couldn't get around it, so I went for it. I pulled out in front of the car and accelerated really quickly so that we would be sure to get around it. She was on her phone, but joked about how fast I was driving. I think I was accelerating so quickly so that we'd get around the car and that we wouldn't be hurt. But why on earth did I pull out in front of it in the first place? I honestly believe that my irrational anger at that point led me to act irrationally. Later, I broke down and explained what happened to her. I love my wife. Did I honestly do something dangerous that would potentially hurt her? Or was I overreacting. She did say that the speed I was driving was "out of character" for me, but was I just speeding up to get us to safety after I'd made a reckless driving decision. I've been replaying this moment over and over and over again in my head since it happened months ago, trying to figure out if I'd really been driving that recklessly or if I was overreacting. For instance, was the other car so close that I would have deemed it ok to pull out even if I hadn't been angry? I don't know. I'll never know, but I've been replaying it over and over again trying to figure it out. Fast forward to the present time. I've broken down and apologized over this stupid moment to her multiple times. Her advice is to just forgive myself and move on. She loves me. I love her. I just I don’t think I necessarily have an anger problem, though I do find myself getting frustrated when we have differences of opinion. I think probably everyone does? Sometimes, I’ll have a fleeting thought about whether or not we’re compatible and I wonder if it’s ROCD. Recently, I found myself in another situation where I felt frustrated at her in a time of disagreement. And maybe this Harm OCD kicking in, but I’ve found myself having these terrible, violent thoughts in my head about her. Let me repeat, I would never, under any circumstances lay a finger on my wife, so this has me not only guilt stricken, but afraid. I try to the best husband I can to her and I don’t want to be with anyone else. We have a great relationship, but I find myself so often filled with doubt and fear of the future. I would love the perspective of anyone who has ever gone through something similar, or just an outsider’s perspective.

I’ve been dealing with hypochondriasis ever since a heart condition scare and cancer scare last summer. That led me into hyperawareness somatic OCD. Now every day I feel like I can’t fully take a deep breath, so I keep trying to, which makes my anxiety worse. Has anyone ever dealt with this? Any tips?

So I have confess to things I did in the past. And just note that I never cheated on my husband but did talk to alot of male friends back in the day 6 years ago when were just bf and gf now married 1 year married and been together for almost 7 years. But it was always for advice reason why I talked to my male friends. It's too long to explain long story short. I'm suppose to do emdr and for some reason I feel guilt so much guilt like if I cheated but I didnt!! I never even met up with these friends of mine. I know they were flirty at times but i ignore them when that conversation came about. Anyway I'm suppose to do emdr. And I'm afraid something somewhere it will come out that I cheated. I'm so scared I'm so happy in my relationship I dont want anything to ruin it. Why does this guilt roaming around. I hate this. I didn't do anything wrong it's been years I dont talk to anyone! Literally noone. Why does this haunt me! Like if my male friends will tell a lie to my husband that I have cheated but I didnt. Do you all understand me? I obsess over this everyday! Is better obsessing over this than suicidal thoughts everyday. I finally got a break from that. Someone HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP ASAP.

Thoughts about marijuana and ocd anyone?? Personally smoking causes more anxiety until i build my tolerance and then i just want to get higher and higher so i stoped smoking lol. Just been sticking to alcohol lately. Hard to quit when ur in college and all my friends are alcoholics lol. Alc def helps me with ocd. I feel like my real self when I’m drunk all anxiety goes away

I kinda wish TOCD (trans ocd) was talked about more. I feel super alone.

How do you let the thoughts exist. I have the fear of committing genocide because humans do bad things. I've been told to just let the thought exist and be ok with it but I'm so scared of it coming true. Could you guys help me or give me advice. I know I'm a good person just so scared of becoming evil

for the past four days, i haven’t been taking care of myself. i don’t sleep until 5, i wake up at 4 in the evening, i only have 1 meal a day, and i look ill. my room’s been a mess for a few months now so i’ve been sleeping in the guest room. my acne has worsened because i’ve been skipping my skincare routines and haven’t been showering. i feel so sad, i want to be productive and do something that makes me feel useful to others but i just can’t. sometimes i can’t even move. i just feel numb. sleeping has been the only way to really block out my thoughts. when i’m lucky i get good dreams and when i wake up sometimes i pretend those dreams actually happened. i feel like i have no one to talk to, no one really asks me how i’m doing anymore and i don’t blame them because we’re all going through something. but even my own parents don’t seem to bother about how i’m feeling. i just feel alone and i want to get through it but i’ve been too weak to. i don’t like this feeling

does anyone else experience a weird feeling of emptiness when they don’t have an anxiety reaction anymore? it’s hard to explain, but it’s like my brain is confusing the anxiety reaction as one of desire or something.. it also makes me feel depersonalized in a way, maybe because i’m missing the ‘comfort’ of that anxiety?

I hate not knowing if it’s OCD or not. Any tips?

How would I do ERP(exposure therapy) for existential thoughts/ obsessions? My compulsions are researching things endlessly and reacting to thoughts in my head and doing mental compulsions such as thought suppression, analyzing, and checking to see if the thought is still there. I know exposure to things things is good so I heard a flash card I could use and right it down and randomly throughout the day read it and accept the thought and feeling I get with it. Then do I return to going towards my goals and value? I also heard watching videos on it and stuff like that is good but that’s actually associated with a compulsion of mine... so I doubt it would be good. What do you guys do for exposure therapy? And what do you think I should do? ?