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i have a question for those of you going through therapy for relationship OCD. did your therapist ever want you to practice ERP by breaking up with your significant other?

I’ve struggle with my OCD now for about 5+ years and it wasn’t until recently I found out the exact name of what I was facing with and whenever I describe my issues like just touching things my brain deemed as dirty for whatever reason which makes my hands feel like they’re tingling or flaring and people wrote it up as “oh you’re a germaphobe” despite having no actual issue with germs themselves. So was just curious if anyone else sort of struggles along the lines of that as well but people of other OCD’s are welcome to talk about their struggles as well and I’d love to chat 😊

i have pretty severe obsessions surrounding being “ethical” and being terrified to do anything someone might see as bad or wrong. i usually have a pretty okay handle on it overall but i do often indulge in compulsions involving searching twitter accounts of both people i do and don’t know personally to see what they personally view as ethical/wrong/etc, and i recently went on the page of a friend that i haven’t really spoken to in around a year and a half who basically said if you like true crime you’re a terrible person with no empathy for the people involved and who blindly support official narratives despite high rates of corruption/lying/etc. i am someone who watches some true crime, i used to do so a lot more but lowered my viewing due to a lot of the reasons my friend referenced, but obviously i don’t agree that liking it in any capacity makes you a bad person. normally this is something i could shake off with some time and space, but the fact that it’s someone j used to be very close to is making it stick more, as the idea that she would think i’m an awful person (despite us watching things like buzzfeed unsolved which has true crime aspects together before) stresses me out, even though we have had previous ethical disagreements (one being the last conversation we really had) though this was before my obsession honed in on this topic. i just don’t really know how to feel about it because on the one hand i do agree that a lot of true crime can be very unethical and terrible, but i don’t think the entire concept and everyone who listens to it can be painted with that broad of a brush, but my brain and past close relationship is making me think i’m wrong and just justifying this to myself and maybe i really am an awful person

Tonight i am having compulsions of saying something crazy in an email about a crime I did not commit. Emails make me afraid I do not know why I am accusing myself or trusting myself I am envisioning my self in a jail cell and in handcuffs i am so terrified why cant i make my fear go away i didn’t do anything at all so why are these thoughts making me suffer its turmoil please help me

My psychiatric self-admitted hospitalization 1 year anniversary is upon me and I can’t help, but dwell upon the fact that my mental health got as severely bad/out of control as it did and that I needed to hospitalize myself because of it. Unfortunately, despite the fact that I shouldn’t; I carry guilt regarding this, I am ashamed, I feel embarrassed and the list goes on. Again, none of the above is how I should feel about it because I didn’t choose to wind up in such a position in the first place. However, the blessing in disguise is that it essentially saved my life; both figuratively and literally speaking. I had suicidal ideation because of my mental state and I was undiagnosed until entering the hospital; where during my two week stay, all of my psychiatric evaluations took place. Anxiety, major depressive disorder, PTSD and last, but not least and in this case; most importantly, OCD (Harm OCD). Since then, I’ve thankfully come a long way with the help of God, family, friends, doctors, therapists, medications and myself. I’d be lying to both myself and those of you reading this if I said that ever being in that mental state and/or needing too be readmitted to the hospital aren’t a couple of my biggest fears in life, but the point of this post is because this is a safe space/place and if I’m going to share apart of my story anywhere and with hopes that it can be of help too anyone/others; it’s going to be here. And hopefully by doing so and with the help of others; I can now finally and officially begin the process of letting go and freeing myself of this part of my past 🙏🏼 Thank you all for listening to me share apart of my story with you ✍🏼 Sending love, compassion and support to all those suffering from the monster and battling the beast that is OCD 💌

This thought has caused me extreme anxiety and I would like to know if anyone else has struggled with this. I keep having the thought that I have to tell my partner that a month ago I got aroused from an explicit video, even though I wasn't attracted to anyone specifically. I feel like I cheated on him and that if i tell him he'll leave me

Do any other partners of someone with rocd just feel so defeated sometimes? I know how debilitating this is for my partner don’t get me wrong, but it’s debilitating for me too. To constantly feel like I have to justify my whole past but his equally bad or worse behavior is fine. He doesn’t owe me an explanation or even an apology because he is having ocd about my actions. Sometimes he’s treated me badly in the past and that caused me to be a jerk too. I’m not right for that. But because of his ocd I have to constantly own it over and over and over, but he doesn’t even acknowledge that he has been cruel to me at times. I’m so exhausted and I hope this doesn’t offend anyone. Just needed to get it off my chest.

18+ Has anyone else struggled with having romantic relationships due to your OCD? I am 20 and I haven’t kissed anyone or had sex with anyone because I’m too scared and believe I’m doing something morally wrong, I don’t judge or believe anyone else doing these things are bad people or anything but for me it feels like I’m a horrible disgusting person. I haven’t ever had a proper relationship which is something I really would like to have one day but I’m just so terrified that no one will be able to love me because I have so many issues and it’s so hard for me to trust and be able to express my sexuality. I want to talk to this about my therapist but I don’t even know how to bring it up, I’m so embarrassed to talk about sex or anything related to sex I know sex is not a bad thing but I just have so much shame when talking about it, it’s so hard for me to bring it up without worrying if I’m making people uncomfortable or if I’m doing something morally wrong. If anyone has any tips on what I can do to try and bring it up with my therapist please let me know, I really hate living like this I always shut everyone out as soon as they show any slight interest in me.

Can someone please tell me if it’s normal to get the kind of thoughts I’m going to share or if it’s indicative of another onset of mental illness. I sometimes will get thoughts that are paranoid like the possibility / what if my co workers could harm me or kill me. I know it’s not true and they probably wouldn’t but I’m scared these paranoid thoughts are slowly starting to mean I’m developing schizophrenia or going into psychosis. I have these thoughts randomly especially bc I know those 2 co workers are sketchy and they do their bad job and they know I wanted them fired and so did other people and I always think paranoid thoughts like that and its freaking me out

Dear NOCD Community,  I hope all of you are well and enjoying the start to your summer!  As NOCD has grown over the past few years, my team and I have spent considerable time searching the internet for feedback about NOCD Therapy, our OCD-specific telehealth service, in the hopes of continuously learning how it’s impacting people in the community.  While going through this process, we also continuously noticed the number of prospective NOCD Therapy members doing the same: people are searching the internet high and low to find information about NOCD Therapy, to see if they should sign up or not. It felt like a pretty cumbersome experience for such an important decision.  For many products and services today, you can easily go to places like Google, Amazon, or Yelp to read reviews about their quality; whereas for virtual-first mental health services (including ours), you have to sift through company marketing materials and seemingly dozens of sites just to see what people really have to say about them.  We need to change that. We need to give people seeking help an easy way to see a completely transparent snapshot of what virtual therapy services are like in one central location. Then, people seeking help should be empowered to sign up or not based on real feedback, company responses to feedback, and peer-reviewed clinical research. This will allow people needing help to make completely informed decisions about treatment before starting, and will allow virtual therapy service providers to get comprehensive feedback about the care they are offering much faster. Sometimes the feedback will be productive, and other times it will give us an opportunity to respond and address misunderstandings or inaccurate information. With feedback, companies like NOCD can learn quickly to “pivot or persevere” accordingly, creating a dynamic that ultimately benefits the people who are seeking care long-term.  To take action, given our company’s member-first and extreme ownership values, NOCD has taken a stance to put all unfiltered feedback that we receive on our website in our reviews section. Our hope is that people in the OCD community can get a transparent view of NOCD Therapy in one location, and we also hope to learn from feedback more quickly and easily. Knowing what does and doesn’t work is the only way for us to ensure that we can drive high-quality outcomes long-term. Our team is in it for the long haul, since we are composed of people with OCD, numerous providers who have served the OCD community for decades, and friends and supporters of both groups.  You can see all NOCD Therapy reviews here: https://learn.nocd.com/community_reviews  If you are a NOCD Therapy member, we encourage you to share your experience with the rest of the community, and we welcome all reviews.  If you have questions or feedback that you’d like to share with me personally, please feel free to contact me directly at stephen@nocdhelp.com. I try to answer all emails.  Sincerely, Stephen Smith Co-founder and CEO

Ok so I know ROCD stems from money issues. My partner is too comfortable where he is in life which worries me bc I’m not comfortable where I am. My partner only works twice a week due to the company he works for not finding enough hours for their employees. I have and 4 others have told him to leave that place but he doesn’t feel that other work places would offer him what this company does. He unloads trucks. But has a hard time dealing with customers bc of his anxiety. I’ve told him there are places that will allow him to only work truck but he doesn’t wanna do it. We’ve talked about this a lot and nothing seems to work. I don’t know what to do. 🥺 I am always obsessed with not having enough and I am just burnt out mentally. I wanna take a break from work but can’t due to not having more money come in… I can rely on him financially but not completely…. 😞 I have been very depressed and I am worried I actually don’t love him anymore bc of this… I don’t wanna end the relationship I just wish he would be more motivated. He tells me he feels whatever he does is never enough. I hate that he feels that way. 😢 He’s been depressed too. Our last big argument he cried bc he was afraid he was gonna lose me. Like I said he help me financially but sometimes he doesn’t have enough because of his money being so low… I want him to have enough for his needs and our needs

I’ve never actually been diagnosed with OCD, but my grandfather has, and he seems to experience symptoms pretty similar to mine, and so does my dad. It took me a lot of convincing to actually write on this forum (and when you have OCD you know what a lot of convincing means haha). And basically I’m just trying to figure out if what I’m experiencing is normal. I’m really nervous about sharing my symptoms and I plan on going to pretty extensive detail of what it is. But I always beat myself up for the thoughts that pop up in my head, it’s almost as if someone else is controlling my thoughts. But enough rambling, below are examples of every “OCD tick” I can think of off the top of my head. Example 1 / Repetition; I repeat things a lot. Whether it’s in my head or if it’s a physical thing. Typically I repeat stuff because my self conscious tells me that if I don’t do it, bad things will happen. Usually it relates to negative things happening to my family members (my biggest fear, and I’ll do anything to ensure that doesn’t happen) An example of this is repeating paragraphs in my head. “Nothing will happen, everyone is safe, your family is okay, and they always will be”. Typically I repeat this anywhere from 10-500 times in my head. And what I’m saying changes as well. I don’t like doing this, but my brain tells me that if I don’t bad things will happen, when I know they won’t. Some physical examples of this is going downstairs and making sure the stove is off, or making sure the door I locked 10 minutes ago is still locked. This is a recurring thing, as in…every night. I need to do these things to make sure that my family is safe. I lock every door, every window, I make sure every gas switch, fireplace switch, etc. is off. And I even flip doorknobs to make sure doors aren’t locked, because I’m my kind a locked door could be hazardous. I choose to do all of these things, even when I know that A. Repeating things in your head doesn’t change anything, and B. Checking the door for the fifth time won’t change anything because the door is still locked. Example 2 / physical ticks; This one isn’t as bad as the other OCD things that i do, but it’s still extremely annoying and embarrassing. A lot of the time I’ll be forcing my body to do things I don’t want to do. Example: turning my head left or right while in the middle of a conversation, or rolling my eyes, or doing something with my nose, etc. This is similar to the repetitive aspects of my OCD, because in my head if I don’t do these things then something bad will happen, which I know it won’t. This is more of an annoying tick, because I feel as if people notice me doing these weird movements or whatever you might call them and think I’m weird for it. (All thought it’s not all the time). Other physical ticks include, having to touch something (x) amount of times. Having to turn a knob (x) amount of times. This goes hand and hand in my repetition tick, because usually when I “have to do something” it’s not just once. So I’ll go look out the front window 5 times because I thought I saw someone. Example 3 / repulsive thoughts; I’ve always looked at myself as a good person. Growing up I would always care for those around me. I’ve always befriended those with special needs, and donated to people who are in need, and supported the odd one out. Although, the thoughts that come into my brain make me feel otherwise. The things that I think of are genuinely just horrible. I would never, never, ever, do anything that my repulsive thoughts tell me to, but in my mind, it’s still me who is thinking of them. I don’t want to go in detail, because people will think I’m a freak. But just know, that my brain in my opinion, is not wired right. The only thing I think that is keeping me sane, is the knowledge I have for how much I love my family. I know I’m not a bad person because these people in my life mean so much to me. But then I just don’t understand how my brain can be constructing these horrible thoughts. If it wasn’t for my dad having similar symptoms and explaining what he has to me, I would probably think I’m a psychopath or something by now. But my ultimate question is: is everything I described normal for someone with OCD? How severe does my OCD sound? Abs are there methods to stop these things without medication? Thank you if you read this whole thing, and thank you even more if you decide to leave a reply. :)

Whether you believe in god or not, one must trust that life has reasoning and all our pain leads to pleasure. I was talking to my therapist today about being afraid that I won’t make up for lost time. He told me “there’s no time lost in pain, you learned a lesson that’s needed for your journey” He was absolutely right, in my pain I also got gems, I got closer to my family. I began therapy with nocd and I’ve never felt closer to myself. I know this illness is very tough and very very scary, but trust all will be ok. All will work itself out. You are strong❤️ Nothing is impossible❤️

Can anyone else feel when they are trying to suppress an intrusive thought? Or am I a true weirdo and maybe actually thinking these things?! 😭😭

Why do some thoughts that are potentially obsessive i.e., that can become an obsession are ignored by our minds at first glance, but later on become an obsession? I'm struggling with the idea of having Fatal Insomnia. I havent slept last night, and I think I'll never sleep again. The thing is, this thought has popped up in my mind several other times, but never got my attention. Why did this happen now?

Recently got back from University and I've been staying with my parents. I'm not sure why but my OCD and anxiety seems worse than it was during spring quarter. I'm wondering if anyone else who is currently in college has had a similar experience? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated 💜

I need a bit of advice. I have been making some progress with my religious ocd. I am looking to expand my social circle and meet other Christians. The only issue is the last time that I did this, I met Christians who tore me down and told me i had no faith simply bc I had anxiety. They even made the implication that I had demons because I struggle with fatigue and OCD. Needless to say that this did not help me in my struggle with OCD. I have since broken all contact with these toxic people who call themselves Christians. My concern is that I may meet people like these again and I don't know what the appropriate response would be to such behavior. I have thought that it might help if I get to know people first before I try and have this kind of deeper fellowship with them. I just can't understand why some are under the delusion that being a Christian means that we should never have struggles or that we have it all together all the time. Just thinking about it gives me this heavy feeling of pressure and panic

Not to reassure everyone, but it is ocd. Trust that. Nothing within yourself is coming to take the thing you value/know about you. You know yourself the best. If something doesn’t feel right, makes you depressed, then it probably isn’t what you want. When you have the thoughts, accepting them is great, but remember that you have control over your actions. It’s all about trusting yourself. I’m finding it super helpful to do self affirmations. Loving the skin and body I’m in so that I don’t continue to look at myself and think oh I look like a boy or I look like a lesbian. Accept yourself, don’t be mad at yourself. If you’re scared that accepting yourself means you will turn out to be something you don’t want to be, guess what, it’s ocd. You have control of your actions. You will find something meant for you when it feels right. You don’t have to dig deeper to find your answers. Your answers aren’t coming for you, they aren’t deep inside you, they come from within when you are in a place of self love and self acceptance. You’ve got this. You can do it. Life really isn’t that scary and living, exposing yourself to your triggers, and socializing are going to help you. Do things you enjoy that actually bring you joy and not more questions.

We can do this, we will fight this and get better! ❤️ I know it is scary, I know it freaks you out, I am scared and in my head almost all the time, but know this: YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS! YOU KNOW WHAT AND WHO YOU WANT TO BE WITH! Believe in this: 1. Sexuality doesn't ever change. You've never questioned your sexuality before, right? You felt good with your partners before these all questions popped in, right? Then fight for that. 2. Love is a choice. You choose who you want to love. And you need to develop that relationship, because it's like a flower. If you don't tend to it, it will wither. 3. Don't question, just enjoy. If you question the sex or kiss or hug, you will feel just scared and miserable. Let the thoughts be and they will disappear. If you enjoyed it before, then that's a fact and no OCD will take it from you. 4. There's nothing like 'big denial' that ERP could unravel. Gays don't question, they don't feel the way we do. Those in denial just try to act as straight, but they still don't feel this way. I talked to my therapist and he agreed with me on these. I hope this helps. Also regarding the late coming outs, I believe this: 1. Denial as wrote before. They know they are gay, but try hard to not accept it. 2. Choice. They decided for some reason to try same-gender relationship and never felt the urge to return to hetero relationship. It's them, not you. You know who you want and I believe by what I read that you don't find the idea of trying same-sex relationship satisfying, no matter the thoughts or false feelings. You can decide which thoughts are interesting to you and which not. The tips from my therapist on how to reprogramme the brain: 1. Say STOP, when it comes and try doing some activity that will keep you focused. 2. Have a time limit where you will pull the thoughts in for 10 mins daily and let them be until you are bored. (Too scary, so he suggested I start with the first one) 3. Medication to help cope with the thoughts 4. Exploring the thoughts further. He guarantees that they will not uncover some deep homosexuality, but I am still scared of that. 5. Rephrase your "What does this thought mean?" question to something that will help you better and stops exploring the thought further as a spider web. F.e. he asked me what would be a fitting question to replace this, wo I don't get in the loop again. And I thought really hard about that, but came up with only one that would make me say no instead of maybe. "Do you want this?" NO! I want to be interested only in boys! The brain is too deep in the thoughts already, so it will be hard, but we beed to keep trying. I tried googling methods how to change negative thinking and overthinking, how to forget some thoughts forever, but never actually practiced that for long. Good luck, everyone. ✌️😁

I pointed out to my mom how she can help by not giving reassurance. She was resistant to this idea and said," I am trying to straighten out and live MY life and I cannot get involved in that pathology you have going there and doctors don't know what the heck they are doing" I understand why she feels this way, but i completely disagree and also find it mildly annoying. What really irked me though was that she then started giving me advice about how to feel better by "embracing my inner child". She said she's had a ton of trauma in her life so she is qualified to speak on this. What does your inner child want? What made you happy from your childhood? At that moment i just wanted her to stop proselytizing about what works for her, but doesn't necessarily work for me right now. So i said I love you mom, but i need to walk away from this conversation right now and go to bed because it's upsetting me. I am an independent adult so my mom is not legally obligated to do anything to help me. I also don't live with her so this is not (fortunately) a daily experience. Don't get me wrong, my mom is amazing in so many ways (and i DO believe that leaning into ones inner child can be liberating), but i find this really saddening that we are so much on different pages when it comes to medicine and doctors.