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working to conquer OCD
So afraid of starting therapy on here. I have done the intake, questionnaires, and how this should go. I tried listing some of my triggers/obsessions but that threw me into a panic attack. Did the SOS video but couldn’t even stop crying to pay attention to it. This is the first time of doing OCD specific therapy.
I was doing fine for a few weeks then my SOOCD is telling me I want to do sexual acts with women but when I neutralize the thoughts it freaks me out thinking I actually do want to it and then my brain goes hmmm you didn’t panic maybe you do kind of want to. Then my OCD screams “you’re bi” but I don’t want to do any of this and then my OCD goes “I think you do maybe you’ve thought about it before” and I’m like what??? Now it’s making me question if I’ve thought about it before!? This is so frustrating I don’t want this! What’s weird too is that I haven’t lost my attraction towards guys (bc I know some people who suffer from this subtype lose attraction) and I’m not attracted to girls. But it’s causing me distress. There’s nothing wrong with being bi or gay or anything obviously, this just isn’t part of who I am so having these thoughts and anxiety makes me feel weird. I know progress isn’t linear but it’s just annoying that it can have me freak out all over again. Has this happened to anybody? 😭😭😭
I’ve made sex jokes and called people papa as joke I’ve even called my close girl friend papa or mama. And she does the same. And I obsess about me cheating and I feel really bad for trolling people online 2 years ago with jokes etc. my bf knows and does not care. I’ve self harmed over this many times and other things.
I have real event OCD (tendencies) recently. For me, I think part of OCD is a battle with serious threats or perceived as serious threats to integrity and identity. But identity and integrity are important, right? Identify is behind so many things on how a human behaves, thinks, acts. Integrity is very important too. It's the difference between someone feeling like a fraud/fake or feeling genuine. My question is I just don't know how identity and integrity is preserved via ERP or therapy, if there are "conflicting" things (to identity and integrity) that need to "accepted" or just accept the result of a real event "result" being inconclusive. But also I think my real event OCD tendencies crap are a little beyond the normal stuff as far as I don't think I can move on without the "assurances" or "accept the unknown" without at the same time being in tune with identity and integrity. What do ya'll think? Has anyone felt the same way or think ERP can help this? Thanks!
reading your experiences gives me a hint of what ocd looks like. While it does help me understand my symptoms more, it also makes me feel weird. an odd feeling, i'd say it's fear. I am indeed ''obsessed'' by not having the same symptoms as people w diagnosed OCD, thus meaning i dont have it (i dont have a diagnosis yet). Could this be some kind of theme? A symptom of OCD?
I have been on this app for a while sense probably last summer but I got rid of it a couple months ago and got it back a couple weeks ago. I've never done a full introduction so here it is. I'm Vivian and I have OCD and GAD (general anxiety) my 3 biggest subtypes are Contamination Magical thinking Harm thoughts And it is really, really hard nothing seems to help, but I'm also on the waiting list to be evaluated for Autism which is also so confusing and frustrating. In general life kind of sucks I'm 14 and I love animals, stuffed animals, American Girl dolls, reading and my switch! My favorite color is purple and my favorite food is pasta. My favorite shows are Heartland Veronica Mars Over the garden wall I also love marvel and animation shows and movies, and Harry Potter. That's basically it I think :)
love hiking here, about a month ago i had the worst headache and non-stop intrusive thoughts while hiking with a friend. yesterday the thoughts were quieter and i had no headache while hiking with my boyfriend. i felt way more present. progress is possible and grateful that nature can help heal. 💗
I’ve (and my friends and family) have noticed that I have a tendency to flip flop on a lot of things. Like I’ll choose to do something then choose the other option shortly after. Is this related to OCD? Is it a common OCD issue? It’s starting to effect and irritate the ppl around me and myself included. I always have good intentions behind each of my decisions but it’s like as soon as I make a decision I change my mind on it and choose the other. I don’t know why I do this. 😣
Brothers and sisters, we have ocd. We must accept this first before any recovery can happen. Accept ocd is the doubting disease and that you cannot trust your thoughts nor emotions unless you've gotten therapy and understand what's happening. We cannot live a life kinda accepting we have ocd and also believing that it's something else and that we are crazy or bad people. We must accept we have ocd, that ocd makes us feel like that but that the reality is that we have a mental illness. Thank God for these good news! Good news? How is an illness good news? Well it means we aren't responsible for our thoughts and obsessions, we aren't responsible for the doubt and guilt that come from having intrusive thoughts, it means we are actually pretty good people that care so much for others, for nature, for our health, for God, you know what you care about the most because your ocd tells you all the time. God has a special place in His heart for the sick, imagine Jesus holding you always in His hands knowing you're sick knowing that you're trying hard to recover knowing that ocd causes you so much suffering, imagine Him holding you always and never letting go because He loves you and cares about you more than we can imagine, so now that we know this, what can we lose by seeking help? By resisting compulsions and ignoring the obsessions? Think about what you can gain, the reasons why you want to recover, tell God about it. You're not an exception, you're not making it up, enough is enough with the overthinking, you're not fighting alone, the Maker of Heaven and Earth is with us always, even if you don't believe He's with you and loves you as you are. Trust Him. Fight with the tools we've been given. God bless you and tell me what compulsions will you be resisting today? I will resist my swallowing compulsion and doors compulsion. We will win!
i keep telling myself i dont have OCD while doing a ritual and that i should stop pretending, so then i suddenly stop doing it. Sometimes i would keep thinking about that and i would start repeating in my brain 'you dont have ocd'. i couldnt even focus while writing this because i kept getting thoughts (not actual sentences, but it was as if there was a lot of noise in my head). I'm really afraid that i could be faking all of this just because i read so many articles about OCD so now it's like as if i do certain things because thats what people w OCD do, and in order to be diagnosed w it i need to do those things. I'm worried that i could be using the excuse of 'i may have ocd' to give an answer to and all the things that I do and did (say ''bad'' things, but not actually bad) and to excuse my laziness so i dont have to blame myself. Also i'm starting to believe that i'm writing this just so i could get what i want, which is being sure that i have OCD even tho i dont. I'm tired of all of this self doubting because i dont know what to believe anymore. People have it so much worse and maybe i'm just misunderstanding the acual symptoms of OCD and what I do are just normal habits. Are these all symptoms of OCD? I dont know if i'm looking for reassurance but it would be so appreciated if someone would help me. thank you a lot.
Hey everyone. So at the moment I’ve had a big OCD flare up. Mainly to do with how I’m feeling towards my boyfriend. I get such horrible ROCD, I think this stems from ending relationships before and feeling super guilty for upsetting someone. I never want to have to hurt someone I care about ever again! I overanalyse how I’m feeling towards him all the time, whenever we kiss whenever he tells me he loves me (everything is basically tainted by my thoughts) he is kind and the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. Even writing these things makes me feel guilty. I’ve spoken to him about these things a little, and he is supportive. But it doesn’t help, my compulsions are testing myself and confessing, so speaking to him is sometimes problematic. I’m dealing with SO OCD too, preciously I’ve accepted I could be bi, but have never fancied a girl, but the idea of being with one sexually appeals to me. I’ve always been okay with this but now it’s really troubling me and makes me feel like I’m actually a lesbian and not straight. It’s only made worse by the fact my SSRis kill my libido, and my boyfriend works in a very intense industry so we’re both just exhausted so the intimacy between us is less than it has been, again I overthink this. I’ve accepted ROCD will always be a part of my relationships, but I wonder how anyone else deals with things like this? I have some tactics I.e journaling and mindfulness but I don’t have the money for therapy right now & just really need some help because my life is entirely inside my head at the moment.
I was wondering if anyone could give me advice on obsessing over something that actually happened? Because I once did something very questionable out of porn addiction and getting caught up in a moment and I was wondering if anyone who has experienced obsessing over something that they feel guilty and shame about and it went against their values? And if so can you help me know how to deal with the guilt and shame that comes with the constant images of what I watched and remembering what I did and I’m just in disbelief that it actually happened.. but it WAS a mistake and I’d take it back in half a heartbeat 😔 btw before anyone asks I just don’t want to say what it was I’m too ashamed.
when you think about something your boyfriend or whoever do something wrong does anyone feel like and urge to act on the thought? or something, idk if this makes sense and most of time i get anxiety from thinking that, but there’s times i don’t and it makes me worried.
I posted a few days ago about my EOCD coming back, but not as strong as it did the first time. (Backstory, I suffered with EOCD from September 2020-July 2021) up to last Monday, I had zero symptoms. Hell, I could literally sit there and discuss simulation theory with people, and proceed to drop it instantly, so I don’t know why its come back, I have learned from my first experience and can see all the little obstacles OCD tries to throw at you when trying to debunk said theories or thoughts. I guess, what I’m trying to ask, is… why has it come back? Could it be due to the fact that the summer holiday is right round the corner, and thats when I had my first ever flare up? I don’t think I’m particularly severe with OCD, due to me being able to get through it the first time with no help apart from my own. Thanks for reading.
I feel like I'm going to be a psychopath and feel like I wanted to be that way. I think I will love to kill somebody, kill my family and it will be my passion but I'm scared to start. I feel like I really really want to do it. Please help me, I love my life! I want to be kind. I don't want to be like this. I don't know exactly what I want to be. 😭 I am so confused!!!!!!!!!!
Anyone on here recover from suicidal OCD and want to tell me about their journey?
34/f with OCD. Common themes are existential and schizophrenia. I take 150mg of Zoloft and have for 8 years. I have these flare ups around this time of year. Every year. You can track it through my comment history lol. I had a panic attack Friday morning when I drove my cat to get fixed. No reason for it either. Been taking my meds, been walking outdoors an hour a day. The only thing is that were on spring break (I'm a teacher) . Tuesday I did taxes, Wednesday I had my cochlear implant meeting, Thursday our new puppy went to the vet and Friday was Dojas appointment. However, I did have more down time than usual . I was actually admiring the sunrise and started thinking about how it would be weird driving home opposite of the sunrise and for some reason all the sudden I got that sweaty and cold feeling. So I spent the rest of the drive home trying to calm down. Once I got home I just laid in bed but felt better by the afternoon. Yesterday it was more weird/exetensial type thoughts (when we have a memory and we can picture it, where are we actually picturing it?) Which led to me latching onto that and doing the OCD dance of distract, think about it, have anxiety, calm down and distract. I don't understand because I'm doing everything I'm supposed to. It makes me afraid I'm getting worse or something. I drank last night because I wanted some relief from it. But now I'm paying for it this morning. Rolling panic attacks and sick to my stomach. It'll start as something benign, like remembering I left my daughter's shoes in the car, and I can "see" them in the car and then my brain goes "but you're not seeing it like you see something right in front of you. It's seeing in some weird dream type space" and I can't explain it and that causes anxiety because I can't easily explain it and then I get panicky and then distract myself and then it happens again shortly after. I've had thoughts like this before. About time, about an "inner voice" (how do you know it's your inner voice and not schizophrenia hearing voices type thing?) And I know this is the same existential theme, but the cycle and the feelings are terrible and I want it to stop. Im laying here, feet sweating, scrolling to distract myself. I feel like if I eat I'll vomit. I can't tell my husband I'm having this. It freaks him out which makes it worse for me.
did anyone go thru both of these themes? mine started out with harm ocd, i had a fear i was gonna hurt myself or someone else. for the longest it went on to hurting my mom, i was so scared i was gonna i couldn’t even go near her it passed. the harm ocd changed to existential, i got bad dpdr from it and still dealing with and now the harm came back. but mainly towards myself. i still get scared when talking about crimes and stuff, but even more anxious when i see people talk about suicide, etc. it makes me think i really am suicidal. i don’t actually have a plan, but one certain image and thing stick in my mind completely. i wont stay at my own house because my roommate owns a gun and i’m scared i’ll give into my thoughts and do it. but then sometimes i know this has been all new and overwhelming to me what if i got depression and now im suicidal. god this sucks. i dont wanna die man but at the same time do i wanna live if im thinking like this? its so overwhelming. not looking for reassurance just seeing if anyone else can relate.
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life
