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Is accepting the thoughts and feelings whether it be it making it feel as real and true to crippling anxiety mean recovery or your ocd coming true

Does anyone have a fear of depression or not sure if they are or not and get really scared of it ? I’m so scared of getting stuck in it or having “treatment resistant depression” where I can’t get help, has anyone dealt with this ?? I always think depressed people wana hurt themselves so it scares me

How do I stop obsessing over a past thought I had? I had this thought a long time ago that really goes against my values now and I thought I accepted it and I even told my mom that and I was freaking out but then I remembered more and I don't think I did accept but now it feels like I must've if I thought I had. Its making me so anxious every day for months I just want this to end.

Tomorrow is my birthday and today my family and I are traveling to Tennessee for the weekend and I feel so unworthy and sad because of my past. My mom knows everything about me and what’s bothering me and she told me to not let it get to me this weekend and to have fun and be stress free and I just feel it in the back of my mind and in the pit of my stomach and it won’t go away. I feel so horrible all the time I just don’t know if I can enjoy this weekend and Tennessee is one of my favorite places in the world. I don’t know what to do 🥺💔

Looking for all the flaws in my partner’s appearance makes me think that I’m just actually not attracted to him and that I’m in denial/using anxiety as an excuse. I used to think he was one of the best looking people I’ve been with and one day when I was feeling particularly infatuated months ago I remember thinking “how could I have ever have doubted this? He’s amazing!” I am now hyper aware that he’s not the most conventionally good looking person but it’s his soul that always made him attractive to me. I just can’t stop looking for ways to confirm I don’t find him attractive. I feel awful even typing this out. Even now my anxiety is telling me he’ll somehow come across all of my doubting posts and breakup with me because they’d hurt him to read

I’ve never sought professional help for OCD but when I’ve read about it it always sounds like me. I think I’m too embarrassed or scared to talk about it with someone or hope that it will get better on its own because it does seem to get better at times but sometimes it can be so bad it feels like suffering. I will sometimes replay moments in my head over and over and over again to reassure myself I did nothing wrong but the voice never shuts up. It’s the same voice that asks if I’m sure I locked the door when I’ve already checked the lock 5 times. (Not an actual voice of course but a thought or a fear) I’ll check the lock again just to quiet the anxiety that thought gives me. I just wanted to share. Thank you.

How do I tell my therapist of 2 years I want to try another therapist? She's been wonderful with me in uncovering my past traumas and providing great tools for me to cope with anxiety but.. She doesn't think I suffer from OCD, just Generalized Anxiety. She's also not specialized in OCD so I'm too sure she knows the concept of PureO and/or ocd subtypes. Our sessions are usually us doing talking about my obsessions, her giving me meditative exercises and reassurance.. I really want an OCD therapist to nip this shit in the butt once and for all. But I don't know how to tell her

I get intrusive thoughts of “What if I jump off this 3 story balcony” or what If I jump off a Cruise Ship” I usually just let it sit there til it fades away I’m not sure if it’s Suicidal OCD because I only get the thoughts like every now and then and not like all the time so I’m not sure if I should start ERP for it , I’m so confused wether it’s developing into OCD or just Intrusive thought, what it sound like to you?

Advice? In the past before my hocd started, I used to think it was "cool" to be in lgbt since my a lot of my friends where in it , and the main thing that's bothering me is that when someone used to ask me (my friends only mainly) if I was straight, I said "I think" or something like that but not yes which is really triggering my ocd even though I don't say that anymore as I promised myself that I'd stop saying that cause it's wrong, False and affects my ocd a lot so now obviously I just say yes if someone asked me if I'm straight but I'm now ruminating whether I still think it's "cool" to be in lgbt , I haven’t told anyone this as Ik it’s wrong and idk what my parents, friends reaction would be as they’re homophobic and they might think I’m in lgbt or smthing idk. Please help me with this!!!!

Have any of you ever felt that you were misdiagnosed from a provider who diagnosed you with something different than OCD? I have was previously diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety. I was put on medications that made me feel numb and I felt my head and thoughts were in a constant fog. I eventually chose to go off of them and slowly tapered off the medications intrusive thoughts came rushing back in like a Dam that cracked open; flooding everything around it. In the beginning, depression and anxiety diagnoses made sense because I believed that doctors know what they are doing because they are educated and trained in the field. As I began to question things, their diagnoses did not make sense. My intrusive and repetitive thoughts and actions made me feel like a horrible person, depressed, and anxious. I was told I had a chemical imbalance leading to my depression and anxiety, but I figured out what was really causing it was my thoughts. I eventually came across false memory OCD and other types of OCD that I never knew was OCD. I felt as though I finally knew what was going on and things would become easier by knowing, but in many ways things have not become easier. I feel that mental health awareness has improved, but the the services, education, and access to services have not caught up to the same extent with improving. I have learned that at the end of the day, it is important to not always accept what I am told by others including professionals and to question things. At the end of the day, it is myself that I am left with and nobody can know me the way that I do.

I started growing out my hair and my father is insulting me and everything about my haircut like heavily he says it’s what druggies look like and I’m selling he told everyone in my family I feel so embarrassed idk what to do

So I wanted to ask, to what extent should your family know about your OCD? And is it helpful that they know the full extent of the themes you suffer from. For myself my family knows I have OCD coupled with intrusive thoughts and I’ve described some of them such as my hit and run OCD and some lighter Harm themes, but I’ve never truly divulged the full content of my thoughts because I feel like there’s a possibility they might not understand entirely and maybe be confused by some of the more taboo themes I.e. Harm OCD, POCD, Sexual thoughts etc. Personally I feel like I don’t need to tell them absolutely everything going on with my OCD but was just curious how others have gone about it. Thanks.

And how is that going now?

Does anyone worry they are using ROCD as an excuse to not face their true feelings? I think I’m numb but at the same time I wanna cry. Lately I’ve experienced low symptoms I’ve read so many posts throughout the 2 years I’ve been suffering. My partner believes I’ve gotten everyone else’s experience mixed up with my own… he is right. But now that I am trying not to bring the feelings back and just deal with it. I feel off completely… I just wanna cry… I asked my partner for a hug 3 Times yesterday bc I was very sad and just wanted to hug him. Without trying to feel anything I just don’t feel right… like everything he talks about seems boring…. 😢 it’s really upsetting me

This is embarrassing to admit or talk about, but I just need to get this off my chest after talking to my therapist about it. a few weeks ago I got really drunk at a bar by accident/peer pressure to drink (pretty out of character for me). I think I selfishly wanted to feel good because of the torture ocd puts me through daily. Anyways, I got pretty drunk, to the point where I blacked out for some periods of time. I vaguely recall hitting on somebody pretty openly and for a long period of time. I probably was a complete selfish idiot. To make things worse I have a wife and kid. I let my wife know out of shame about my mistake the next day and she forgave me, but the damage had already been done. My ocd is making me feel convinced that something bad happened like I hooked up with that person and I’ll have a child with them and ruin my marriage and it’ll be this awful spiral. I always tell myself, “surely, if something like that happened, you’d remember it”. But my ocd makes it feel so real and it makes me really paranoid. Thankfully I have a wife who understands my brain, but I feel very worried about it all the time recently. It’s been about 3 weeks since the incident, but my brain won’t calm down. Anybody have any experience with dealing with true event ocd after drinking? What did you do to help you through the storm?

(I posted this same thing on the ocd reddit too so sorry if this isn’t your first time seeing this lol) hi so i feel like this is soooo stupid and inconsequential but i dont really know what else to do about it basically almost ever since i started having really bad ocd episodes i had like "sub-themes" where like, for example, when i was struggling with sexual intrusive thoughts, and at the time i was super into this one video game, i started getting thoughts like "well what if you started associating the sexual thoughts with the video game". and this just completely drained all my passion and enjoyment for the game, because all i could do was keep checking my emotions and thoughts and see if i really *was* associating the game with my intrusive thoughts. but the more i stressed about it while playing the game the more i started to actually associate them with eachother, or thats what i thought was happening, anyways. i hope that made sense so this has been happening for pretty much every single one of my interests ever since my ocd "started". again it sounds really dumb, but being interested in a show or book and just having passion for a piece of media was something i had always done for as long as i can remember, ever since i was a kid. ever since my ocd got really bad, i cant do that anymore without ruining it for myself. it's really put a damper on my sense of self and my happiness and passion for life. even in some of the worst times in my life i always had a video game or something to obsess over and take comfort in. i can't do that anymore, not without being constantly on edge. seriously, i feel like a completely new person everytime i get to enjoy a piece of media, at least before ocd starts attacking it. its come to the point where ill be consuming media and then i just think "what if you stopped liking it right now" and then i really dont know if im actually enjoying it or not, and that stresses me out and then the media starts stressing me out and then i actually *dont* enjoy it anymore. it makes me feel so empty and it genuinely depresses me, i feel like im going crazy and like, it feels different from when im genuinely not interested in something anymore, or at least thats what i think. i know that i can let go of interests just fine whenever i just dont like it anymore. but whenever *this* happens, its like i still really want to consume the media and enjoy it like i did before, i really do miss it, but everything in me is saying that i shouldn't go back to it, its over, ill just have to find something new again. bcs i genuinely do feel worse if i try and push through and keep consuming it. i really didnt want this to be this long but i just wanted to know if anyone has experienced something similar to this and what i should do about it? and thank you for reading through all of this lol

I overthink during sex and I can’t tell if its ocd or im gay. Im getting married and im so scared..what if i cannot satisfy her? What if i find out im gay?? Im horrified

I think a big problem is that I have watched so many movies and shows and that my imagination has always been so so big. I have been really going through the worst time in my life this past week and a half I’ve lost almost 10 pounds from not being able to eat because of fear that I somehow took my boyfriends “soul” and if I look at LITERALLY anything (even these letters) and food or ANYTHING I feel like I left his soul on there. So in order to “get his soul back” I have to roll my eyes and do this compulsion until it feels right and until it feels like I have it back…If that makes any sense? Its so distressing and it’s much much more than that like vivid images and ideas that I’ll praise to people that he’s not real and that he’s something weird like a robot or something idk and it’s so fucking terrifying to think of doing those things but sometimes it feels like I’m going to do it so I bite my tongue really hard. My brain is so scrambled it feels like I’m going to 100% convince myself that he’s not himself. im terrified and I can’t eat or sleep and when I try to sleep my mind goes wild when I close my eyes :(

does anyone with rocd feel like a part of them is turned off like happiness and love? all i can really feel is sadness and anger. i know that i love my partner but a part of me just feels blocked.

This isn’t ocd related but I feel like I just need to talk to someone about what’s going on in my brain. I think from a young age I’ve been super scared of getting close to people. I can’t figure out why that is, but I also tend to put so much focus on just being accepted and have had this need for others to show me love. Like I know this stems from not loving myself but I’m like so depressed, scared, emotional to focus on work and my usual meditation feels wrong. It feels like I’m just in denial and not living my truth. I had an experience over the weekend that took me back to who I was before I started therapy and getting better. I was hooking up with my boyfriend and felt extreme euphoria, like it was an out of body experience. I think this was playing into my need/attachment to others. Anyway, I was sooooo overwhelmed. It all felt good, but then at the same time it all felt way too scary and overwhelming. I started thinking about the female body. And then that scared me SO MUCH MORE. idk how I could be so lovey dovey with my boyfriend and then feel the need to be sexual with a woman, like my boyfriend wasn’t enough. It feels like a trauma response from my youth but I can’t point to anything that would’ve caused it. It reminds me of feelings I have always had throughout my childhood of needing other people to validate me, accept me, love me so that I could love myself. I’m not sure how it all ties together but this feels like a desperate need. I’m now worried that I’ve been lying to myself… like my love for my boyfriend has only been because of an unhealthy need I have and being with him has uncovered this more true desire to be with women. That doesn’t feel right saying that but I’m not sure why my brain went to that place. I’m really struggling to focus today, feeling overwhelmed by my emotions and my fears. I’m not sure what to do. My usual isn’t working. I feel so disconnected from my mind, like all I have are intense feelings that I need to sort through before I can be a functioning human, but I’m scared that when I do that, I won’t need my boyfriend and then I’ll panic again. I just don’t even know where to go from here.