Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Can anyone share a good erp for health ocd?! Please and thank u 🙏 😊

I feel like I don’t know how to deal with OCD anymore and I feel like I am burned out. Anyone else feeling like this? It is just defeating. Any ways to combat these feelings?

My therapist talked about people believing sexuality is a continuum with some on the left some on the right and some a step or two in between and that this isn't a bad thing or something they have to do something about but its making me anxious like she thinks I'm not straight or something. I don't know what to do about this anxiety. I don't know if I'm understanding her right or if she was just trying to help but I feel bad asking her a bunch of followup questions bc I feel like I have been all day

I kinda proud of myself..typically when I find myself ruminating or doing a compulsion mental compulsions.. I have to go through the cycles of my OCD. This time though..I went into a separate room of my house and just told myself no I don't have to these compulsions because this is my OCD.. that is power.. it's tough and it's not easy but if I can do it anyone can.

So i was on a wait list for therapy and finally i have someone that can help me. I received a message from a therapist and i lost my shit. I started panicking and my brain is making up all sorts of terrible scenarios. For exemple, i have suicidal ocd and im terrified to potentially be suicidal. Welll my brain is telling me that the therapist will know that im suicidal and will make me go to the hospital. It makes me want to never get help because of all the scenarios. I dont know if its ocd. I want to cry, im so scared

How is everyone doing today? As for myself - I am ok. I’ve been here before - I have been in this position before. A position where I feel like I’m slowly drifting back into depression and ocd. I hate the fact that I could be doing so good, that the OCD and depression seem almost nonexistent and then boom - out of no where, I just regress. Why can’t I just remain at peace? Calm? Happy? …… Anyway- just felt like venting out.

Sometimes we needa to jus realize it’s all in our head ,u know why our Body reacts the way it does n panic cuz it’s false n not true n will never come Into Reality jus act knowledge it’s fake Ik it’s hard n ocd will still try to trick u buh u will Heal ik we Will ocd acts the way it does because it wants u to act on it !!! U don’t never give up accept it’s not real n u will be able to have a thought n it not bother u u will have moments buh it’s not reality rm that♥️

Boyfriend has been diagnosed with relationship OCD, he has intrusive thoughts about me with past partners and always asks for affirmation How can I help him, and what should I do or not do

First of all, i want to say that i haven't been diagnosed yet, so the "maybe i don't have Ocd, maybe i'm just a monster" hits me harder then everything. I've become aware of this disorder thanks to social media, in a period of my life (around november) where i became to have very scary thoughts about harming myself or others, pedophile thoughts or simply ruminating about how i can open my mouth and scream, or closing and opeing my eyes repeteadly. So, i ran into a post about anxiety disorders and i read about Ocd for the first time. Also, i want to specify that when i was little i used to do things to reduce anxiety (if i check the stove, nothing bad will happen). But i always thought it was normal, and for many years i didn't do that since this year. I believe its a year of new things and stress for me, im dealing with a lot of things and so..anxiety has increased. I don't know who i am anymore, i mentally re-watch memories about myself 6 months ago and i'm a totally different person now. I feel like i'm an impostor, like this Is my true self came to the surface after all that i went through. Im dealing with a loss of identity. I don't know what i like anymore, if my thoughts before where this bad..if i'm a good person or not. I don't trust myself anymore, i have anxiety if i'm alone and i'm stressed if i'm with others. I've lost my happiness and my sparkle. I'm frightened i will do something bad to someone and enjoy It. I want to disappear and never come back again.

My OCD themes have centered mostly around health and identity stuff. For several years I’ve been afraid I’m Autistic. I’ve been in group OCD treatment for a bit and didn’t see too much improvement/ at least around my main obsession. I was seeing a NOCD therapist for a few months. One session he asked me some questions during an exposure and after I answered “yes” to most if not all the questions he told me that he googled questions to see if you’re Autistic. It was really uncomfortable, but part of me shrugged it off because I know that screening for Autism is much more comprehensive in the school system, so what happened didn’t feel that “validating” that I’m really Autistic. Although I still continued to obsess about the theme, I didn’t spend too much time thinking about that event. The other night for some reason it dawned on me that as an adult, I can likely go and get diagnosed Autistic and the screening process would probably, if not definitely, be less comprehensive than if I was a kid and in the school system. That realization made me feel that the series of 3-4 questions my therapist asked me can be effective screening for Autism and I answered yes to I think all the questions. Honestly I don’t know what to do, I know part of me really wants to research the process for being diagnosed Autistic as an adult in different type of medical, resource oriented, or psychiatric conditions to prove that my “screening” wasn’t comprehensive enough. I feel extremely defeated. I don’t know how to sit with this. It feels like it’s game over for me. I don’t know how I can EVER accept uncertainty around this theme now and just claim “I don’t know” if I’m Autistic and be able to just live my life and enjoy it without spending almost all day everyday obsessing about this and just never feeling “okay.” It’s like I can’t enjoy my life and ever feel “okay” for more than several minutes because my mind will just go back to “well, you’re for sure Autistic now” and it causes me so much despair and distress and I just NEVER want to think about it. I want so badly to show my mind that there are other explanations or even that the questions I answered yes to can probably be attributed to being diagnosed ADD and OCD, but it doesn’t help. My mind just wants to then see the criteria for ADD and if they don’t ask the same exact question then I know it’s Autism for sure. I just feel like now that I had this realization of the adult screening for Autism process being shorter that I have sealed my fate. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it for the last 4 days and I’m afraid I’ll never just have this reality of answering yes to those questions in my mind and I feel I can’t handle it.

Just want to say I think my favorite part of this healing journey is when I now feel my body/mind going off base (you know that extra spider sense for anxiety) and the anxiety comes on strong….I REALLY love telling that brat she can hang around if she wants but she is accompanying ME for the day I will NOT be accompanying her! I’m really proud of myself as stress is a huge trigger for me and Easter Sunday is the anniversary of my initial PTSD inducing event (won’t elaborate to help minimize others triggers)✌🏽🌻. Also watched two episodes of Criminal Minds and I’m fine. Shut the ruminating down immediately. Also watched Batman and I’m fine. I am a conqueror of Harm/self harm OCD and Existential/Religious OCD which are my top two among many other changing OCD themes.

How can you tell if you're experiencing real event ocd or you are feeling justified guilt for doing something bad. What I did is something that everyone would consider very bad. Is it still OCD? This is making me miserable.

My bf and I (ex bf idk how to explain) we been broken up/on a break for a month. The first 2 weeks was hard as fuck and I was worried and losing it. Then eventually I accepted it and just said fuck this and we didn’t speak for the entire 3rd week. Like at all. The first 2 weeks we still were in contact a bit. So going on week 4 today. Marks a whole month. Last week though we did meet up and talk and decided we both didn’t wanna get back together right now and just aren’t there yet, we weren’t officially done but still not like together. After I just told him like tbh it’s all good we can just take our time, no rush, we both obviously don’t wanna go back to how the relationship was well just see if we wanna go through it together or give it up. After that, he started to text me every day up til today which marks a month. He FaceTimes again (we did that all the time) just overall talking to me more and more. So today I just said like are u trying to just like talk and see how it goes and he’s like yes that’s how I do things. And I was like wow I just guessed that. he said he still didn’t know if he wanted to get back together. He just didn’t know. I had been in that same boat all week too and evidently I decided I wanted to be with him. But I can’t rlly be mad that he didn’t decide at the same time as me. And I think him wanting to talk to me more and see me and all of that is a sign he is trying to go back to us which he sort of pointed out. Like we’re working through it kind of thing. And in my head I’m just thinking ok I’m going to play this out for the next week and a half. See how it goes. He is the one who reaches out to me constantly, it’s always been like that. But like if I don’t see rlly much effort or change in that time, I HAVE to walk away. I even said like to him like I know I’m worth it and I’m enough and blah blah. Just sort of putting my foot down saying it’s cool if we work to get there but I wanna make sure we’re on the same page. I am kinda annoyed with it for sure. But I also know we both process things differently. He doesn’t wanna have a sit down and a huge talk and decide ok we date now or we done. He wants to get back to it by talking again and hanging out and just taking our time gettin back to each other which in all honesty I think is a good idea. It can be hard but like ur rebuilding something in a way by doing that and can see if ur even able to… idk I think I’m just sad cuz I fucking miss him so much that I do wish he just wanted to see me so bad he came back but he has a huge ego sometimes he doesn’t realize and I think he puts up this huge wall where he thinks he has to do these things. And I just wanna open my arms and be like wooo come back.

Tw: I wish my TikTok wouldn’t be so triggering. Just saw a video of a woman who came out as a lesbian despite being married 8 years to a man and said “the closet was DEEP”. I’m just so scared that’s going to be me. I don’t want it. I’m so scared. Urgh:/ sorry

Hello my name is Brandon and I just want to make a long story short and straight to the point. I struggled with Harm OCD, Self Harm OCD, and Scrupulosity. I didn’t know who I was anymore and It just seemed like my life was over. Constant depression, anxiety, fears, doubts and overthinking every single day of my life. I decided to try out NOCD and I got paired with a wonderful Therapist by the name of Lynda. She was able to guide me and understand what OCD really is and how to battle it. I was able to go back to “normal” but the thoughts seemed to come back although I was able to manage them much better based on the skills my therapist provided me with. I was stuck in the cycle of trying to “figure it out” and what all these thoughts meant about me. I would ask “did I think that?” “Do I like these thoughts because the anxiety isn’t as strong anymore?” “Are these my thoughts or OCD?” But It wasn’t until I gave my life to Christ and grew my relationship with Him where I experience permanent healing. I want to give ALL the glory to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Jesus loves you and wants the best for you. No matter what you have done in your past it can all be wiped away by his amazing grace and his great mercy. Jesus loves you and wants to heal you!! Matthew 8:2-3 “Suddenly, a man with leprosy approached him and knelt before him. “Lord,” the man said, “if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.” Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!” And instantly the leprosy disappeared.” Isaiah 43:25 “I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again.” Jeremiah 30:17 “But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the LORD.” Romans 5:8 “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” John 10:10 “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” Malachi 1:2 “I have always loved you,” says the Lord.” Jeremiah 1:5 “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” Genesis 28:15 “What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.” The devil, our enemy knows the greatness and the purpose God has For YOU, he is afraid of what you can become in Jesus. He doesn’t want you to be healed. HE IS A LIAR, Confess your sins to him and give him your life. Accept him as your Lord and Savior and have faith in who He is and what he did at the Cross for all of us. Jesus died for you at cross for the forgiveness of yours sins, to give you eternal life!!, to bring you back to God, Because he LOVES US! Jesus WANTS ALL your brokenness, your addictions, your fears, your anxieties, your depression, your thoughts, your fears, your OCD.. HE WILL TAKE ALL OF IT AWAY!! I would like to introduce you to a great resource my Church provides. If you need prayer please text “prayer” to 512-359-3400 and someone will be ready to contact you. They are any time and any day. Please message me as well if you need prayer at 512 393-9082. If Jesus Christ did it for me.. HE CAN DO IT FOR YOU

Suicidal OCD is truly horrible. There’s so much overlap between ideation and obsession with this. A sufferer truly can’t tell the difference because of all of the conflicting information between the two. ERP for this makes it difficult because it’s like, you “accept” the thoughts, but yet if you do that, you’re also told to seek help immediately. How do you sit with these thoughts, and also how do you get on the other side of this when you’re instructed to react the complete opposite regarding this topic? I feel like I go in circles because of this and it’s so hard to judge.

I just want it to stop. I sometimes feel anxiety around my own boyfriend and I don't know what to do. I hope it doesn't mean we aren't right for each other. 😓 I just want to spend time with him without this feeling again and I don't know what to do.

I am here because I have no friends who I can talk to about my intrusive thoughts. It has come to a point where it is all I can think of 24/7 from the moment I wake until I go to bed. The thoughts persist no matter the time of day, just at different volumes. In some instances, I can focus and do the tasks that are needed at hand while having the thoughts as background noise, and other times it feels like they get so loud I can't focus on anything else. OCD has taken over my life, my friends, and now I feel like my sanity is slowly leaving my body. I tried doing ERP today, which typically works during my sessions, but it felt like I gave up. I went into ruminating and googling and stopped until I physically could not take the overwhelming amount of anxiety. My thoughts centered around my sexuality. What if I am gay? What if I am forcing my relationship with my fiance? What if I never loved him? What if I faked everything? What if me being distanced - physically and emotionally mean I am gay? What if I am using OCD as an excuse? What if my mom was right? (she would always tell me growing up that God told her I was gay). With ERP, I was trying to watch TikToks of this woman who considers herself a "late-blooming lesbian" meaning she had been married to a man and had a child before she came out. I tried to lean into the anxiety but my brain just started instantly comparing, spiraling, ruminating...Sometimes I would reassure myself and sometimes I would question why I didn't feel anxious for a second (that it meant it was true). When I first went into ERP, I did not think about how difficult it was just to simply say "maybe so, maybe not." Very Brief Background: My mother has very chronic and untreated paranoid Schizophrenia which consists of delusions (made-up thoughts like government going after her or Johnny Depp loved her) and hallucinations (visual perception that is not there - seeing demons, dead people, usually she would attach spirituality into things she saw). Anyways she would say I was a lesbian and that she needed to keep me away from my sister because God told her I was capable of terrible things. I grew up confused and remembered my mom making fun of me whenever I would be vocal about having a crush on a guy...she would tell me I was faking it and in denial. I think this most definitely has led me into the position I am in today.

Don't get me wrong, I keep going because I wouldn't want to cause any hurt to anyone-none of us can just leave this world without upsetting those closest to us & I don't want to do that. But I'm starting to lose hope. I'm back living with my parents after a relationship breakdown & have been trying to rent a house in the UK where I live. But they discriminate against me because I'm on sickness benefits due, mostly, to this terrible illness. And I've tried to get therapy but the Mental Health services are literally ignoring my case, despite my GP sending countless emails to them to help me- I first got in touch with them because I had nearly followed through with a serious suicide attempt due to the OCD I've been struggling with for years. Therefore, I've not even got the choice to be able to get better with therapy- I can't afford to go private or even NOCD-- I'm completely broke. So, I'm stuck being unable to work/contribute to society, landlords won't accept me as a tenant & worse of all I'll never get better. But if anything, I hope this reminds someone out there that they are not alone. P.s. I think someone should start an awareness campaign for Real Event OCD for the public, as I think it should be a separate diagnosis & is the worst thing I've ever experienced.

Every time I’m around or see my dog the urge to hurt him is so real. I don’t have anxiety right now and every time I pass him it feels like I’m going to do it. I have no control and just know I’m going to snap