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Anyone have ocd thoughts that relate to either the devil / bad spirits hell or scary things like that?

Please help me.

My new OCD theme is hitting me harder than previous themes. I've been obsessing about hearing loss and losing a substantial amount of my hearing that I may go completely deaf in the far future. It is because of a hearing test that tells me that I have ears of a 32 year old and I'm 17 which means I degraded my ears so much that it advanced 15 years past my age. I'm getting fears that I might go deaf at my 30's. I started to obsess on measuring my surroundings and my earphones with decibel meters to make sure it is not "too loud" and I get severe anxiety attacks about it whenever I misheard what other people say because I might have hearing loss. I tested on an audiogram app and I got "normal hearing" but other websites tell me that I have mild hearing loss which makes me more uncertain and anxious. I can't even think straight anymore, I've been missing online classes because my tabs are always on searches about hearing loss, hearing frequencies, headphone settings, etc... I need to stop this before it gets even worse. I've been obsessing on my hearing whether I heard things well or not and if not means "you have hearing loss". I might get full-blown Somatic OCD if I don't get my " Fear of Hearing Loss" obsessions in-check.

I’ve been Obsessing over Death ever since my Dead died worrying about dying and what’s next and that I will be gone one day even though by the age of 80 I’ll probably ready to die because I’ve had a full life but I still obsess

hi. so i started off with having ocd since I was little. my ocd is very mild on a daily basis as of now and only recurrent in a moderate or severe state based on the 'circumstance I am put in', or based on what happens to me. I had severe checking and symmetry conditions in the past, and possibly other subtypes, ritualistic, on a daily basis. i am just curious over the way i behaved in the past over something that had happened to me and thought what i had is pretty different and odd from any other ocd person I've heard before so i thought i would post this. what had happened was i one day hurt my thumb years ago, unexpectedly, and was very nervous and had fear while doing it. it was the first time something like this, 'self-harm' had happened to me. i then had a mental breakdown and it felt like insanity for months. it also led me to getting violent once and pushing everything off of my desk. it all started when my other thumb started making clicking noises when bent slightly. i noticed that abt my other thumb not having the same problem. i cant remember what made me hurt my thumb, but i can only tell the self harm or bending it back and forth multiple times was not something i wanted, but was rather drawn into it by what i think was my ocd, which i cant recall what it was but my gut is telling me that it had something to do with checking, although i dont know what i could have possiblty been checking. (i am referring here to the thumb which i didnt have a problem with, but ended up doing self-harm) to this day i still feel this thumb, from the moment i wake up. its like its all i can think abt. it rly feels like my thumb is injured and i notice a difference, discomfort/weakness from holding/handling things, joint crunching, and its also distracting from social interactions, and seemingly giving rise to social anxiety. For example when playing on the joystick having a hard time laughing after having scored a goal against my cousin unlike in the past to enjoy the time you spend together. this is only one example. even affecting my relationship with loved ones. anyway, i described here what made me feel insane and even led me to getting violent, and also giving me a rather hard time in terms of social interactions, as well as the discomfort, 'pain' in my thumb. i should also mention that i was really getting along just fine with my life before the self-harm took place, didnt really have friends at school, so there isn't really anything that would make me think the problem was something else. also me feeling insane was also likely due to being in disbelief that i had actually done what i did (the self-harm), and there was also an insurmountable amount of guilt. Besides the ocd, checking/organization, which can occur recurrently in a moderate to severe form,I'm not sure if the 'thumb' problem has anything to do with ocd, could just be me feeling anxious, from a moderate to a severe level, but I'm sure the self-harm had something to do with my ocd. ive talked to ocd therapists before, not on nocd, but i couldn't get anything out of them that made me feel understood/helpful. i am presently looking for a hand surgeon based on my web searches on the symptoms of my thumb. any feedback, thoughts would be appreciated, or anyone having suffered something similar

I did not get any replies last time I posted this so I am trying again!

Hi everyone, I’m searching for the right therapy and I think this is the place I need to be. Unfortunately I tried to commit suicide a week ago due to my brain never turning off and I’m also sick of feeling this way 50% of the time. Hopefully I’m not the only one out there who feels this way. Good luck to everyone ♥️

If anyone would like some peer advice I would be happy! I went from bed ridden with ocd about 2 years ago to now down to maybe a couple intrusive thoughts and relatively no compulsions in a day.

Please read This is an extract from my diary. I was just writing my thoughts to myself. I covered any personal information. Could anybody please just tell me what to do and if they’ve been through this themselves? How did you deal with it? I am not diagnosed with anything yet.

I need some help sorting things out. I'm incredibly sorry if this doesn't follow guidelines, I rarely use any form of social media. I just downloaded this app today because I'm worried that I might have OCD. My biggest concern is harm OCD. I don't know why this happens to me, but I can easily get mad over little things and start obsessing over how I want to hurt somebody. I will spend a long time thinking of a person who pushed me in the hall, creating a scenario in which I might hit them in the face with my bag or choke them out from behind. It scares me. I get so enraged that I rarely see fault in my thoughts until after. I don't like getting angry so quick, and I hate these thoughts. It feels like there's a voice telling me to do this stuff sometimes and I don't want to. Sometimes I'll think about throwing something during an argument and I try to not let it happen, but it won't leave my head until I do it. I've never been in trouble with the law, and I've only more recently began to lose my self control to these thoughts or strange voice. I control myself as much as I can in public, but bottling it all up makes things worse at home. Please, I'm kind of desperate here. I'm scared to talk to my normal counselor about it, though I know it's the best option. I know I will eventually, but I need to now. Please give me advice on how to at least get the courage to bring this up, and please inform me if this isn't OCD related. If it isn't, I deeply apologize.

Can you please please please accept Medicaid soon. I feel I have no where else to go. I need help asap. I feel like I’m running out of options but I do my best to take care of myself day by day. But I’m so sick of my ocd and I really need to work with someone who understands and can help. I’ve been working so hard for so many years and still struggle….. please make this more available it’s so needed. The lack of accessibility to adequate services is really frustrating

Through mindfulness and meditation I have found a way to combat intrusive thoughts and have succession a good amount of time. Now, I feel my thoughts have transition into feelings which feels much worse than the actual thought. It’s by far the worst I’ve felt and only pushes my worries and concerns further. Why is this such a difficult battle? Ughh

Hi!! Hope everyone is having a good day. Just a quick question. Anyone that has taken lexapro, did you have an increase in anxiety/jitteriness/discomfort when you’ve increased your dose. I started VERY slowly on the medication almost 5 weeks ago. 1.25 for 1 week 2.5 for 1 week 3.75 for 1 week 5mg for 6 days 6.25 (just started today) I had pretty positive results within in the first week or so with lessened and more manageable anxiety. By week 3 I was doing pretty well and began doing some “normal” things I’d been avoiding. Last Monday I increased to 5, had some anxiety that night then was ok for a few days but then some anxiety on Friday and Saturday morning. Saturday Dr told me I could increase medication on Sunday. (I was planning on doing 5 for 2 weeks before increasing). I did increase but I’m still having bouts of anxiety/jitters/discomfort/tightness in chest. Has anyone else experienced the same? Dr said this is normal when increasing and shouldn’t last long. I don’t want to ruminate or Google. And not looking for reassurance. I just wondered if anyone had a similar experience. Thank you

Okay, so I’ve always been reluctant to try meds, but I finally did and tried 50mg of fluvoxamine for 4 days. It made me 100x worse in a matter of 2 days. I was told to give it a month but I couldn’t. I literally was paralyzed with fear and I didn’t sleep those 4 days I took them. I also got this weird side effect where I see like a floater in the corner of my eye and it doesn’t go away. It started right after I stopped taking fluvoxamine cold turkey. Now, I was prescribed 25mg of Zoloft. I’m terrified to take it. But I feel like I need to start taking meds because my ocd is becoming so unbearable and I need some peace. Tell me your experiences. Did you feel like SSRIs really were a life saver? This might sound like I’m asking for reassurance, but I genuinely want to read some peoples experiences before I give it another go.

I always have had ocd like symptoms my whole life, but in 2020 early in the year I tried edibles and had a horrific traumatic experience where I genuinely thought I was dying. Soon after this experience I had major anxiety, derealization, depression, and then OCD. The day my brain broke was soon after this experience with cannabis, which many people describe as when people first developed severe OCD and anxiety, like life was not the same anymore. Has anyone experienced something similar to this ? I really wonder if this is what has caused my mental health to spiral in ways I never thought imaginable. I know cannabis can cause things such as schizophrenia and psychosis if a person is prone to these disorders.

Ok so my OCD was eating me up to the point where I didn’t even enjoy doing stuff or going out. I struggle with religious OCD and fear of unforgivable sin and I pray a lot during the day for forgiveness. I have thoughts that disrespect god which I obviously don’t mean. But after lots of prayer and helpful videos and I guess understanding I feel so much better now. Like I still have the thoughts which are there and I hate them but they don’t eat me as much anymore. But I’m worried this is a bad thing too and kinda means I’m losing god ? Which I hope is not the case but anyone else relate ?

I feel as tho this is what I want and thoughts dont really disgust me. Anyone relate and some coping strategies?

It’s been a while since I’ve been here but now I’m back and more stressed than ever. I’ve gotten to the point for I am severely numb and I have no idea what my identity is. Humans have basic needs in life, and when you lose one of those like identity, love, etc. life just doesn’t seem worth while. I feel like im stuck being a lone wolf for the rest of my life, fighting in a war that’s all in my head, and I have no rescue or reinforcements to help. I can’t talk to friends, family, and not even my therapist. Even though I should talk to them, I know damn well they will not understand. All they can do is give me the illusion that they know how I feel. I wish I could just live my life, but I can’t because I have no clue what I am. I’ve tried to remind myself of who I am, but intrusive thoughts after another, I just can’t. I just recently called the NSP Hotline, but I can’t talk to a person that seems like they just wanna hurry up the call so they can go home. So now I’m here thinking about what the actual fuck I should do? I don’t have ppl that really know the struggle and give me genuine helpful advice. Therapy can help but it’s just me talking about my day rather than the actual problem at hand

I have this intrusive thought and extreme questioning that I'm changing and that I am no longer suited for my bf and then I just saw a tiktok that said smtg like "Do you just ever start hating your favorite person bc you both grew into different direction" and i'm so triggered and I'm about to have a panic attack rn

I’ve been called those things my whole fucking life and at first they didn’t rlly get to me. I’m like 4’11 which is obviously very petite but there are actual adults that are smaller than me but for some reason I’m always the one getting picked on, even at 19. By “friends” (not the ones I have now), family members, so many people. And it drove me to obsessively measure myself, find videos on how to grow taller, constantly monitor my posture, and wear shoes that add height. I’ve noticed that other girls that are only 2-3 inches taller never have the same issues. Yeah maybe here and there, but not to the extent of what I have to go through. They’re also the prettier ones, more successful, more likable, so on. I’m just so tired of feeling this way, especially when I was getting so close to accepting it anyway.