Welcome to
the NOCD Community

If anyone can relate to this it would be greatly appreciated.. I’ve been struggling with the same “image” for months of me on a child, humping/sexually abusing it. I would never ever hurt a child- I work with kids and I love them and when I’m around them the thoughts aren’t so bad cause I am now able to dismiss them it’s just this image.. the reason why I am struggling so much is because I’m sexual and I get intrusive feelings that I might like it and stuff. As a child I used to sexually explore even by once humping my baby doll. I don’t know if im just messed up but i don’t know what to do anymore these thoughts have stolen nearly 5 months of my life and I want to go back to normal..

I just wanna completely give up. Its impossible for me to focus on the things I used to enjoy. It's so hard to have the will to keep going when this world is so evil and bleak.

Hello, I know my text is too long but please read until the end and sorry for my english it's not my maternal language. I am 23 years old and we have discovered at the age of 15 that I was suffering from depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) such as intrusive thoughts that are like unintended thoughts, ideas or images that provoke anxiety, fear, or discomfort. The content of these thoughts is often about pain, violence, aggression, sex, mistakes, physical appearance and many other things. I live constantly in anguish and when an event occurs due to emotions I lose control and I do what is called a panic attack or also called crisis of anxiety that comes under the sudden onset of a sensation of intense fear. It is usually an episode where feelings of fear (anxiety) and intense discomfort, brutal installation and for a few minutes to several hours. Physical symptoms may include sweating, palpitations, a feeling of choking, chest pain, nausea, tingling that causes a feeling of loss of control in the body. These symptoms are associated with feelings of loss of control or imminent danger unrelated to reality. These OCD are due to an excessive activity of the prefrontal cortex, it works more than the norm and because of this excessive activity it sends signals of danger even without reasons and it is what causes the anxiety and the panic attack. I have been on antidepressants for all these years and I still have some sedatives in my pocket in case it turns into a panic attack. Today I come to you because I am exhausted emotionally tired and physically it has become extremely painful for me to live with...I need to be understood... I read a few comments and I find myself in a few of them...you have to know that you are not alone...we must be proud of ourselves... THANKS FOR READING ME...:"(

I haven’t found anything online/ met anyone with OCD like mine. I’ve always had it, my mum suffered with it too and committed suicide two and a half years ago. Throughout my life I’ve seemed to suffer with all of the various types of OCD but the one bothering me the most at the moment seems to be not talked about. I have to wear specific clothes and underwear, wash, apply certain make up products before I go out socialising. All in the fear that if I don’t people won’t find me attractive, it now takes me up to five hours to get ready before going out. The main issue is, if I don’t do these compulsions people actually don’t find me attractive, no one talks to me etc. I know it sounds so vain and I remember the exact point it started and why I’m so bothered by people thinking I’m good looking. It’s widely accepted that by not completing a ritual the terrible thing won’t happen, but for me it does. It’s a similar story for me if I don’t do certain things e.g check the doors, oven etc I will miss my alarm, every time I don’t do these rituals I miss my alarm! It’s a bloody catch 22 for me!

Rocd kicking in again :( I feel like my man is kind of boring .. all he does is go to work and to the gym and play video games, is that normal for a 26 year old or ? #fml

I fear of hurting my loved ones i obsess over the what ifs every single day from the minute i open my eyes to the minute i shut them. It wont stop i try to distract myself i work a full time job and try to work over time as much as they will let me yo keep me ditracted an i feel like the thoughts, worries, fear & doubt i am obsessing over are getting worse. Please help me i dont want anything to happen! Ill try anything that will give me a postive outcome please im begging anyone and everyone to lend a helping supportive hand.

The past year I’ve been dealing with OCD about free will, consciousness, and instincts. The latter two stem from the free will problem, but basically I’ve been having anxiety and OCD about having no control over my life on a biological basis. It all started because I watched a YouTube video called “Why we Don’t have Free Will and why that’s OK” from a health channel called “What I’ve Learned” about a year ago. After the video, I started panicking and thinking what if I have no control over my life? What I really am just a product of my environment and I have no freedom? I went and scoured the Internet for counters to these questions and actually found some really good stuff, but my search for answers kept leading me to other topics that threatened the idea of free will. This is where consciousness and instincts OCD come into play. From this research, I found out some scientists say that a lot of our actions are unconscious, but luckily however I did more research and found out that a growing number of psychologists don’t think the unconscious mind actually does not even exist. As for instincts, it all started because I saw a Quora questions that asked “Why is human instinct generally considered to be overriden?” I thought I would get more answers about how human have free will, but instead the top answer was the complete opposite. That answer to this question talked about how humans always act on instinct and that the reasons we give ourselves for acting a certain way are always an illusion. He claims to have done 20+ years of research on human instincts to further his business. The guy doesn’t have a bio degree or anything. I want to be suspicious about these thoughts, but I STILL think about the possibility of him being right about how humans might not be as free as we think. All my research and counterpoints to my own existential crises are nice to know, but I still haven’t been able to shake the thoughts “What if all these people are right? What if we really have less control than we think?” One thing I try to still tell myself is that pretty much everything we know is not a certainty. There is so much uncertainty in the world, and we shouldn’t try to find certainty all the time. I want to just live my life without thinking about all these existential things and just enjoy it. Please let me know if any of you have had similar thoughts or experiences. I’d love to hear your tips, tricks, and anything that can help. Thank you, and have a great day, wherever you are.

In the last two days, I was deeply sad and unmotivated (If you read my posts, I think you noticed it). So, today, I woke up "better". It's just like I'm in a tiny moment of clarity. I'm so sick of this. It isn't true, but it won't leave me alone. I just feel mentally and emotionally exhausted. And when it comes back, it just feels so real. OCD screams that I'm just in denial, and it takes all my will to live, like it's taking my identity and ripping it to shreds. "What ifs" flood my mind. It puts a weight on my heart. It makes me believe I need to "come out". It takes my attention from other areas of my life. I am always in a bad mood. I mistreat my parents. I'm cold towards my colleagues. This lie is destroying my life, treatment is expensive, and I have no one to talk about this who would really understand. If it wasn't for this app, I'd be completely alone in this dreadful illness.

I have this amazing boyfriend. But he communicates in different ways than I do, which my OCD tells me means that there’s a million red flags, we won’t work, he doesn’t love me the way I love him, etc. This causes a disconnect between us because I’m constantly seeking validation and getting triggered and having obsessive thoughts that constantly ruin my day. How do I keep my triggering thoughts from dictating how good of a day I have or how happy I am? How can I stop depending on my boyfriend for validation on our relationship’s health and strength, or his family’s thoughts on me? Because my OCD could turn this relationship sour and unhealthy real fast. So how do I put a kabosh on it? Anything helps. Em

Anyone here effected by the cognitive distortion of magical thinking? If so how? Looking for help.

how do you PROVE you’re not a paedophile

Ugh, my sensory OCD gets triggered whenever I have a fight with my husband and we are in a phase where we’ve been fighting lately due to stress and business at work plus doing a lot of work on our home. So now I’m focused in on every time I swallow again, convinced it will never go back to normal.

Has anyone suffered from post partum OCD harm thoughts? Please share your experience

Man I hate ocd

i just wanted to ask on here if anyone could share from experience what to do if it feels like you’ve already tried everything to get rid of ocd or as much of it as you can??? So basically when all of this first started about 2 years ago, I was actually in counseling just casually for a few months trying to just cure my anxiety but then I realized the bigger issue was OCD months later and i started going to talk (cognitive behavioral) therapy for it for about 6 months. During that time i tried Zoloft for a couple months, kept increasing til i hit true max but i honestly never felt anything! I didn’t try anything else bc i really didn’t like the idea of being on medicine especially at such a high dose and apparently zoloft is the best for ocd but it didn’t work even a little. then that didn’t work after all of that, so i i’ve been going to a hypnotist (who has a phd so he’s actually a real doctor) and it was supposed to take 3-4 sessions to help me, but so far i’ve done 11 sessions and nothing!! i’m still functioning but this is not how i want to live. does anyone have any suggestions please on what i should do or try??

anyone here with severe misophonia (sound hatred like being sent into a panic attack or strong aggression with hearing sounds like chewing or tapping or breathing)?

i used to be able to just fuck around and kiss girls for fun at parties and even consider threesome fully knowing i was straight and was just open to it for fun. now if someone brings this up to me or whatever i get so scared. like hocd completely changed my mindset in that way. i always knew i was straight and was confident in it and now i’m worries i’m bisexual or lesbian. and it takes my attraction away from boys. which is what i actually desire in my heart. fuck this man

Ok.. so another one of my fears is the fear of being schizophrenic or psychotic. I’m 9 weeks post partum and I read about psychosis and it freaked me out!! I’m 29 years old and I know schizophrenia happens in your teens or early 20s. My therapist told me that as long as I don’t have a voice telling me to act on my intrusive images or thoughts that it’s not psychotic. Once she said that later that day the words “do it” kept repeating in my mind. I have 0 desire to harm anyone and I’ve never been a violent person. If anyone has experienced something similar please share! I feel like my mind loves to switch things up and play tricks on me.

Does anyone else ever have the thought of “what’s the point?” Every time they try to better their life even in the smallest way. When I go to buy clothes I think “what’s the point” or when I think of going to the gym and losing weight or decorating my house, etc things that shouldn’t really be a big deal it’s like I demotivate myself but I want to do these things. I don’t get why I even think this it started a few months ago and it’s making me depressed :(

Beyond the what ifs - Does anyone else feel like their OCD tells them they have to be gay... I don’t want to be with a woman but it feels like I have to be gay. I’m trying to tell myself it’s OCD and that it’s a lie...but what if it isn’t? What if I’m lying to myself that I don’t want to be with a woman but I actually do?