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I need words of encouragement to stop the loop I’m in right now of compulsions.

People woth rocd. My brain has been really hurting my heart. Like making up scenarios that my bf doesnt care or he is cheating on me to the point where it makes me feel so dull. I really want him. But im like so friggen dull after thinking about negative stuff 24/7. Now its leading me down the path of if its dull your loosing feelings i dont want that! Then my brain is like popping up of men being taller than him but in reality i could gaf.

Anyone else feel like a thought is screaming at them so hard to admit that it’s right after being triggered by a thought or image and you kind of do but then also know it’s not true in the way it was trying to mean it to be? And you were only saying it/thinking it to make it go away? And also sometimes don’t know what’s real and what’s not? I hate myself.

Found out my fiancé was lieing about masturbating. He knew it was something I didn’t want while in a relationship. He admitted it when he was really upset & started to resent me. He felt like he couldn’t tell me the truth because of conflict. I have asked him a handful of times if he has done it since he admitted it to me. He has said no. Recently he was out of town for 6 days & I keep feeling like he he is lieing when I ask him questions. I do not know how to deal with this.

I feel like my OCD is killing me. I feel paralysed by it at the moment and like nothing will ever get better. What can I do to get out of this trap. Its mainly contamination OCD that is causing the problems. I feel like I'm in a bubble that no one can enter. Isolated and just existing. Feel like there is only one way out of this....

I used to have moments of clarity before but now I just constantly feel like I’m lying about everything. Can anyone relate ? I’m also worried that since I just started out with intimacy , I don’t know what I actually like and therefore I don’t actually like my partner sexually and I’m only into him because society says I should be and I don’t know what I like..🥲

I feel so horrible someone please help! I’m playing Pokémon Diamond and I was in a battle with another girl and I had an urge to look or glance at the chests and I don’t know why but I did it anyway because I had a thought that I was triggered and because they are younger I guess I started freaking out but I had an urge to do it and I did and now I feel so incredibly horrible because it was like I purposely did it? I’m freaking out so much right now I want to cry but I’m at work and I can’t. What if I did want to look there and I did it on purpose? It literally felt that way and now I’m so scared 😭

Do I have to tell my partner my sin I’m struggling with or had struggled? For example he once asked me if I find his brother attractive and I said no but I did but it was my own problem. Do I confess this now? (For example impure thoughts or thoughts that are not okay) ?

Question about pure OCD: when I was younger, I had a lot of intrusive images of people I didn't like, like Tr*mp, Logan Paul, and others, so to cope I had to imagine the opposite person to kind of neutralize it (I had to search on google images of Bernie Sanders to feel better, I know, weird thing but I was really in politics at the time) Can that be considered a compulsion? If yes, has that ever happened to you? Right now I don't feel like that anymore, the intrusive images still trigger me and they do make me feel "impure" but they don't bother me that much anymore, I learned to ignore them as I grew.

Big fight with my husband. I'm a pretty high people pleaser, and I was worried (again) about the lack of comments on my art on Facebook. I was chatting with my husband, wondering why. He blankly said " because noone loves you". It just rung the OCD bell like crazy. I went into tears, my 4 years old daughter asked to apologize, he didn't and stayed silent for 2 hours. And now he's saying he was wrong but it was my fault. I have some self hurting thoughts right now, it's difficult to go through. What a nice way to spend Valentine's Day 🤔

I hate intrusive feelings so much. Like I'll be obsessing over something and then I "feel" something that could be proof the obsession is true... it feels so real and i feel like a horrible person. I hate ocd so so so much

Can you just decide to stap all your compulsions?

Cw: almost homeless, POCD confessions, brief mentions of childhood trauma (outsider's perspective?), brief r*ach and b*dbug infestation mention as well as a lack of food and money 🌸 I finally told my closest friends (mostly online except for the other two) about the ocd i suffer the most from. I was mostly worried of being thrown out by a certain friend and their partner, as they're my current roommates who had taken me and my partner in, (who is now my ex, but we're doing great as friends) seeing as we would've been homeless if they hadn't. I grew up a sheltered kid and left when I was 20 (will be 22 later in the year) with my ex. They on the other hand, were spit out headfirst into adulthood young, so our mental ages are pretty spaced apart, meaning I don't really know much about the real world and am always having to ask him for help on knowledge-based things. So, back on topic... I opened up to my closest online friends I've known for years about my pocd. One of my very closest ones responded in an understanding way; they said they still loved me and go through it similarly, just not as often. The others I believe hadn't seen it yet, so I'm awaiting their reply,, I'm glad I'm not alone- I mean, ofc I know people here suffer the same thing, but it's calming to know that someone close to me that I know personally feels the same way. My ex, close friend, and now roomate have let me know they briefly suffer the same agonizing thoughts I do from time to time, though mine have been more frequent growing up. My trauma, a brief explanation: I (9y?) was in the same bed my dad was in when he did things to my mom in a nonconsensual way, he didn't care when he found out I was there, from what I can remember... I believe I may have false memories with him as well. I dont believe he was predatory, my thoughts are mixed on this. That, and I also heard couple of years later when I must've been around 12, that my friend's younger little sister (6y) was possibly doing things to my own even younger little sister. I was upset at her and resented her, still to this day (before moving out ofc) I rarely spoke to her when I visited my friend, minimized contact. I really can't get over it, even though ik she was just a child herself and didn't know any better... --- I'm not going into detail over it, but I started to wean myself off of fictional digital content years ago (like reading stories where I was the minor in a s,xual scenario) I've relapsed since then; the most recent one being a month ago (last placed we stayed at was with a friend of my ex's- there was almost little to no food for us, we often went days where we'd only have 1 small meal, and in the place before that, moved in w his friend who had a huge roach and bedbug infestation). Im going to try not to leave anything out, as its currently 1am and im rlly tired lol,,- My roomate friend gave me advice; both their partner and my ex have said they don't believe I could be capable of harming (I know I won't either, still the anxiety has a gorilla grip hold over my thoughts /lh) and that they still love and care for me. They've offered suggestions to help as well as some tasks/homework i need to do , like install an app called the 'trevor project?' and not go towards that content of any kind- to find a distraction as well as speak to a therapist. Im so glad they have my back,, I think this is all for now, thank you

Can zoloft make you feel restless after 2 days?

Crippling loneliness rn.

I don't know what to believe sometimes I suspect even my closest people of betrayal and Im not sure if they gaslight/manipulate me because they know I have ocd and they know that I have outbursts. And I don't know whats true if Its right that I'm mad at them or if I'm being too much. The result Is the same I lash out. I'm so confused and then I try to overcorrect by saying how sorry I am and that is all my fault and then I'm getting mad again because they never feel guilty when they say/do sth to me but I always feel guilty. Wtf is that ...

Random blah-blah: I have GAD, and I think I have OCD too. I don't say that suffer from ocd since I'm not diagnosed. My ex-therapist suggested me to look up for bipolar disorder. The problem is, after half an year, I still don't think I am bipolar. Did my research inside my brain, as well as on the internet. The thing is, I am obssesing over my mental health. OCD was the last disorder that I checked, since I thought it's impossible for me to have it. I am anxious about this one. I am scared. I want to know if I have ocd, and since yesterday, that s all I am doing. Looking up on the internet to find an answer. I am scared if I book a call, the therapist will say: but you have GAD, not OCD. And this will be so bad because I... I honestly can t imagine why it would be so bad. Just that I ve lived in a lie for 2 days. I think my ocd is most obvious in my relationship with my bf. And I feel so bad because he keeps saying that everything he does - is never enough. It s complicated. I just want him to never doubt himself, his actions and our love.

I just can't bear it... My intrusive thoughts were killing me a few days ago, the worst was when I was thinking about the 2 weeks, before my rabbit died, and I took care of her. She had a stroke, She couldn't walk because she didn't feel her right side. I remembered how I wanted to give the best care to her, but also remembered the times, when She didn't want something, but had to do, because of her health. I remembered, that usually I cleaned her legs, ears, and her private areas. Then came the thoughts: what if I thought to push my finger into my rabbit's butthole, when I cleaned it, because I associated it with man's butthole or something like that, and it was a sick desire. It was killing me, because these kind of things, when people harmed or desired some way an animal, disgusted me really deeply. Plus, this rabbit was literally my everything, my precious first child, I had her from age 10 to 16. So, the thoughts really disturbed me. Anyway, I tried to reassure myself: if I really thought that, at least, I didn't act on it. And than came the thought: what if this thought was really there, and I really acted on it, and I harmed and abused my rabbit, I just didn't realize it until now, or I just thought this was natural, or I didn't want to remember how bad person I am, and that I didn't really care. I literally cried for 3 days, I became sick with migraine, and the thought, that I could hurt and traumatize an ill rabbit, MY rabbit who loved and leaned on me the most in this world, was killing me. I told my Mom that I fear, what if I hurt my rabbit (I didn't told her my exact fear, just hurt, because I was scared), and She said that wasn't my nature, and that rabbit wouldn't love me until her last breath if I did something that traumatized her. And I know it isn't my nature, I love animals in a pure platonic way, but what if teenage hormones and grief fucked up my mind really badly and I did that and didn't care about anything? It didn't help that sometimes I thought that I am a good person now, and I know I deserve life despite whether it's true or not , because then I thought, what if I find this thing acceptable, while I don't. I just can't sleep for a week now, I can't concentrate on studying or anything bit also I don't know what to do. I want to believe it's a false memory, I don't know how can I live on if it's not, but I also can't let it go, because what if it's really true, and I keep living on without guilt and punishment, while it's a thing that can't be forgiven. For years I thought I did everything the right Way in that last two weeks and now I am not sure. I know most of the intrusive thoughts were made by my mind, but the thing, that I don't have proof I didn't do anything, keeps my anxiety alive, and I don't know anymore what is true, and what is not. I must live, but I don't know how after that...

Europeans know that the media is full with the possibility of a war between Russia and Ucraine, and all i can see is that people are ready to the war, it will be a war here too,they will put us to fight and kill people to save ourselfs... and my mental health isnt the best for that right now, im thinking of i will not survive that, i will get crazy or super depressed, i will get lot of ptsd which will be worse bc of my weak mental health and it will be a suffering. Got to a point where i was affraid that life will not matter to me and the amount of stress will make me to kill myself bc i will feel so hopeless... and the scary part is that i felt the hopelessnes and im scared, my mind is so anxious that it thinks about suicide, bc theres no hope in a world like this... and that just made me more anxious and hopeless that i can think like this and actually i might thinked that if that happens i kill myself bc life will not be how i imagined. Can ocd confuse you this much? Im feeling guilty again, this is not how i should think...

As far as ocd , I’ve been feelings okay . But I feel like shit still. I can’t stop thinking about my ex friend who I also like . I am so envious too . It hurts that we’re no longer friends and we haven’t spoken to each other since our fight . It’s been 3 months almost . Bht last we talked , it was more of a confrontation and that’s when things got heated and things really ended officially for both of us. I happen to be obsessive of him not ocd related ik by heart. I am genuinely into him and I can’t seem to stop comparing myself to him as well. Which is why I am jealous of his own lifestyle and overall just him as a person. He’s the beauty faced, free spirited clear minded free guy who goes out does all sorts of things like traveling, clubbing , partying, just an active person off /on social media . He’s free spirited ! I’m surprised we even bonded and stayed close contact with each other . Me on other hand , the mentally ill , insecured , gay kid who suffers from ocd while also balancing social anxiety and everyday struggles of low self esteem . But just overall being mentally or emotionally unstable . I am hoping to reach out someday and reconnect with him and make things better. Meantime , I just have to suffer with the fact that he’s doing all fun and cool things without me . I am also into him too :( but I feel insecure so much because of my self esteem . I want to glow up so bad . I worry how one day he will find someone else 😔despite of not ever being in relationship with him . Nor has he known about my feelings I have for him. This puts me in a worse emotional state . I feel fragile all aside from constant struggle of ocd . This has been issue for me last couple of days is coping wit the loss of a friend . Anyone have advice ??