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the NOCD Community

I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE I CANT IT ANYMORE THE GROINAL RESPONSES FEEL TOO REAL THEY FEEL JUST LIKE REAL AROUSAL. AN ALMOST FULL ERECTION. IM IN TEARS I HAVENT SLEPT FOR 24 HOURS MY LIFE IS RUINED PLEASE HELP ME IM FEELING VERY SAD

Anybody have nice recovery stories? Personally I don’t believe the whole “OCD is something you manage, not cure” thing as I think it’s just the medicinal companies looking to have you popping pills your entire life. Anyways, I KNOW that recovery is possible, and I know that it’s very inspiring and motivating to hear from people that has been in OCD hell that got out on the other side. So please, if you have any stories, share! I can give you a little story; my mom got herself some bad Harm OCD when she got her first child, my big sister, and intense amounts of anxiety from the OCD and agoraphobia too. In the last 20 years, she’s had two panic attacks. She’s over it! She’s out and about and haven’t known intrusive thoughts for ages

Hi I really need help. I really want to get better and want to work on recovery but I am too scared to look for a therapist. I had a very bad experience before, my family is not really supportive of the idea and I have very graphic sexual intrusive thoughts. I am convinced that it will be so embarrassing and humiliating to talk about this again. But I know that without proper guidance I am gonna have to deal with this forever.. has anybody advice?

OCD about driving. I am a 25 year old and am currently having really bad OCD about driving. I often fear that I am going to hit someone with my car or already have and did not realize it. Anything can set me off, such as a bump in the road that I did not explicitly see and point out, driving in an area with a lot of pedestrians, driving at night, driving in residential areas, or driving while a bit tired. This happens all of the time. I often check my rearview mirror for signs of an accident or reactions from drivers. I used to turn around and check a lot, but after reading various articles have stopped doing so and for the purposes or ERP. I have been doing my best with the ERP, but sometimes it is hard to resist the urge to go back and check, especially with those specific instances that I listed above. I just wanted to know if anyone else on here has this kind of OCD and how you deal with it/the best methods for continuing to work with it.

i have this girl ocd crush or i dont know how to call it. shes very pretty and all but i dont want to be together with a girl. my ocd makes me feel these weird anxiety butterflies

Anyone struggle with false memories? If so, how do you cope?

Antine with false memories ever get it that you are 95% sure said thought/memory didn't happen but your mind is still convincing you its real

I can’t stop checking. Someone help me break the cycle, what do I do?

Hi Guys. I’ve been prescribed 10 mg of Prozac to help managed my OCD. I’ve been particularly struggling the past 10 months more than what I used to be able to manage on my own. I’m aware of the side effects but I’m terrified since I have big deadlines in school and I also work long shifts at my job. If I get fatigue, dizziness, nausea etc. I’m worried that my performance at school and work just tanks. I don’t have the ability to take time off from school or work so it’s really scary. At the same time, I know it could also help me. I’m considering waiting 4-5 weeks for the busy period to end but there will always something new that can come up. For those who had a bad experience with Prozac what would you do? For those who had a great experience, please also share. Thanks.

If I’m up for 12 hours a day.... I’d say at least, around 9 of those hours are involving something with OCD.... my mind is exhausted....

i have to take this psychology class for my major and its developmental so we talk about minors and it triggers me so much but what else can i do? i just sit here uncomfortable and anxious

I keep worrying that maybe I was never straight in the first place. Maybe I’ve always been a lesbian and I’m just scared of coming out and not being accepted!

This might sound weird, but how does one know that they aren’t gay or attracted to the same sex? It’s just weird to me that I actually have to think through it this way and check things off. Can one wake up one day and be attracted to the same sex? I don’t even know how to brainstorm this.

Hi guys. I’ve been struggling a lot with mental compulsions and rationalizing. Part of my treatment is eating animal products since I believe I’m immoral otherwise, but the only way I’ve brought myself to do this is through a mental compulsion about my reproductive health. I’ve been losing my hair and suffering with acne for a year now (randomly started at age 20) which I attributed to about 10 different illnesses I convinced doctors to test me for before my OCD decided I’m just infertile. So now I use the animal products to reassure myself that I’m protecting my fertility and that overcoming my ED will stop my hair from falling out. I have to tell myself this otherwise I can’t bring myself to eat the food. Perhaps my most harmful compulsion is having unprotected sex with my boyfriend to see if I can get pregnant. Even though I don’t want to be pregnant, i know it’s a way of checking on my fertility. Worse yet, if I get pregnant, I’ll either tell myself I’m evil for thinking about an abortion or get one and believe this ushers in a new punishment for myself which is infertility for life. On the other hand, if I carry the baby to term, I’m convinced the meds I’m on will harm the baby (hence another reason to stop my meds, which I’ve only taken consistently for a week max). I’m too ashamed to even tell my therapist.

I’m tired of my “HOCD”. I don’t even know if it’s OCD. I’ve never thought I was gay before in my life and now it’s convinced me that deep down I want to be with a man. I can barely talk to my girlfriend without having intrusive thoughts. I can’t even tell an intrusive thought from a feee flowing thought anymore. I try to make myself think about women and it keeps happening. Even when I look forward to something in the future I’ll get a thought “but you’re gay”. I’m tired. I’ve talked to some of my friends and family and it’s a weird issue. No one else is going through this that I know of. If all I think about all day is being gay then I must be gay. Even if I find reassurance it’s not enough I don’t even accept it. Maybe this all happened for a reason. I’m never going to wake up and these thoughts won’t be there. I don’t even care anymore, I’ll just be alone or be gay.

Guys please I need your advise if ERP works to help in beating OCD. Because I've heard that if you will not repeat your rituals you will win. I want to share you with you the worst thing in my life. I am currently addicted of watching porn and masturbation so I am trying to beat it however already for years I had a horrible rituals to finish masturbating with good thoughts means without obsessions about dying, died people, that I wll get a cancer and so on. And while I am having orgasm I am always struggling with that thoughts and if even a small thought or a picture in my head will be bad like picture I will die or picture from horror firm or anything else I need to repeat masturbation even if I don't want to do it. Sometimes I am so stressed because it gives me so big anxiety if I will not masturbate again something bad will happen and so often I can just stay in bed for 10 hours and masturbate for 10-15 times to finish with good thoughts so everything will be ok. I am so tired of that I lost my good mood and don't remember when I had a good one I can't beat masturbation addiction because of that ritual to masturbate again and don't have a few seconds bad thoughts while orgasm. Or sometimes don't have a God picture in your head because it is a big sin to have a picture of God while masturbating. But I don't want to think about it but again and again at the end of masturbation If I had these thoughts my mind or OCD says you're terrible person so immediately masturbate with good thoughts to avoid and troubles. And it is horrible to masturbate 15 times a day and spend more than 10 hours forcing you to do it because of OCD. Guys if someone knows what it is that why do I need to do this ritual and how to deal with that. I would be very happy if someone can help me or know how to help myself. I WILL VERY APPRECIATE Guys because my life is horrible because of that (((((((...

Hocd is constantly saying to me that I'm just in denial. Like it's trying to force me to be something I don't want to, it keeps telling me that I should just give in, and that terrifies me. It tells me that I'm actually unconsciously homophobic (I never was), and that's why I resist it so much. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm so sad and hopeless. Hocd is crushing all my dreams and expectations for the future.

It’s so difficult to try and just be normal around others. I have Primarily Obsessional OCD and it mainly revolves around relationships (I’m single so in this case mainly my friends), as well as health, both physical and mental, and meta-obsessions that involve obsessing about obsessing or just ruminating about my OCD in general. I have Graves Disease and OCD, both of which I would consider “invisible illnesses” in that looking from the outside in 90% of people wouldn’t be able to tell I have these apart from a goiter in my neck that most wouldn’t really notice and me being skinny and borderline underweight for my age. When I’m with others, I always feel so stuck in my head, like I’m observing the interactions around me rather than participating. When I meet someone new, I’ll constantly be thinking of how I’m going to tell them about my health and how they will react, and I usually won’t even mentioning it because it’s completely irrelevant to the situation. Or maybe I’m with a close friend or group of friends, and I’ll spend the entire time analyzing or ruminating about every little thing that happens. My close friend sat next to someone else and not me? They must not like me anymore. All my friends are laughing and having fun while I’m silently sitting there? I’m DEFINITELY not feeling alone because I’M not interacting with THEM, but THEY must not like doing things with me because they just don’t like me. My friends actually try and interact with me? Oh no I’m sorry I’m busy being flooded with thoughts so I’ll just continue on ruminating, half present and unable to actually enjoy the company that I long for when I’m alone with my thoughts. I’m in therapy and we’re working on ruminating less and other things but it’s so hard when every interaction with others has the potential to trigger me, and when I’m alone I’m constantly ruminating as well. I never see anyone talk about ROCD in a context outside of being in a relationship, but it’s been making it so hard to build relationships with others and so easy to ruin them. I’m even terrified that I will never be able to get in a relationship because my anxiety will get the better of me and I won’t be able to do the things I want like what happened in my first relationship back in school (as society has made that the mans job in most relationships). I feel so isolated and alone at times, and even if there’s others I can reach out to and talk to, nobody ever understands. Even if they do, they can only hear about it so much before they start getting tired of me venting and obsessing. I just wish it could stop and I could meet someone who I am able to connect with, and NOT start obsessing over them 24/7 to the point I make them uncomfortable by talking too much and oversharing, or conversely by isolating myself. Sorry this was so long, it’s been rough lately and my exams are starting to come up this week and it’s been so hard to study when I just can’t focus on the things I want to focus on, or be motivated enough to not just sit here ruminating. I just needed to vent. If anyone else is going through something similar, you have all of my unending support and I hope things get better for you, just as they hopefully will start to get better for me. I invite you to share your experiences as it may help someone scrolling by who feels alone, like nobody else has these thoughts, as nobody really talks about this form of ROCD (as in outside of serious relationships) on these forums.

Okkk! So basically, part of me has accepted that I might be bi, and I’m ok with that because it’s not the worse thing ever. A few of my friends are bi, and being bi ultimately means I can love a wider range of people, which is great. So I don’t mind if I am. However I really really don’t wanna be a lesbian, and today I’ve had thoughts about being one. I’ve suddenly loss all attraction to guys which sucks. I feel like this is HOCD, but how do I know for sure if I don’t mind being bi?

Masturbation is so annoying when you have intrusive thoughts