Im just wondering…how many hours a day do you spend thinking about your fear. I spend around 3-9 hours or sometimes more thinking about sexual orientation but i still doubt that i have hocd. I feel like im just in denial and im so scared.
I have health ocd and i think about terminal illness almost every minute of the day. I also have nightmares about my fears. Its so hard
@Karotajs-theanxiousgogettergirl We can get through this!!
At my peak, it was probably 20 hours a day, when I'm in recovery, its not even every day. But i still have OCD on those days it doesn't bother me. Itsnot about how often you obsess.. its that you obsess in the first place. 2-9 hours is still a pretty long time to fixate on something as essentially unimportant as who you want to kiss and sleep with. ( not trivializing sexual identity) but people without OCD don't question it, they know or they just don't care. Im straight, married to a man. iv kissed girls, iv had sexual encounters with girls. i think girls are pretty. could i be with a girl? who knows? maybe i could, but id rather be with a man. if i change my mind tomorrow that's fine, what matters is what i want to do in this moment right here and now.
@TexasOCD41 This actually made me really calm cuz i feel like if im a lesbian there is no other choice but to be with a girl. Even tho i don’t want to and i never did (but my mind is saying that i want to be with a girl just lying to myself) and i just don’t realize that if i want to be with a man i can be. But the thing that is scaring me the most is that im unable to love a man or have a relationship with a man because i could be a lesbian. Ive always wanted a man just haven’t met the right one. So yeah thank you for this comment.
@spelamarela - Thats kinda the cool thing about sexuality. You get to be with who you CHOOSE. I also took a human sexuality course in college and it taught me that there is no 100% Gay or 100% straight, we all are somewhere on the spectrum. I often tell people on here who have SO-OCD because it helps them realize its ok to feel in-between. Like i said, I'm "straight" but i appreciate girls, i wouldn't even consider myself Bi, id say I'm probably 90% straight, and on a test, a 90 is passing, so that's enough for me. For you, you say you like me, you WANT to be with men, the ONLY thing in your way is a glitch in your brain called OCD that throws a " what if you're meant to be with women?" and you already can tell in your bones its a glitch cuz instead of agreeing with it, you say " woah wait, nu uh, i like men, i WANT to be with men." the crappy part about OCD is just because you KNOW its there, it doesn't make it shut up. There isn't a magic word i can give you that will make those doubts go away, but its your job to teach your brain that YOU are in charge. We don't control our thoughts, we only control which ones are important. " i can be with men, cuz I'm supposed to be lesbian" file that away in the spam folder, its not worth your attention " but i feel like I'm lying to myself and deep down inside I'm supposed to be lesbian"-spam. Come up with a RPM "response prevention mantra" if i were in your shoes id say "hmm, well, perhaps i could be with women, maybe one day i will be, but today i rather be with men, today I'm straight" or " hmmm, am i supposed to be with a woman? meh, maybe, i never liked doing what I'm supposed to do, i think ill just be with men anyway." Your last sentence really nailed it " iv always wanted a man just haven't met the right one." THAT is you're true nature and the way i can tell is ONE KEY word. " feel". At the beginning of the post you said " i FEEL like if I'm a lesbian" but that last sentence, you didn't say " i FEEL like i want a man" you said " I WANT" OCD shows its chinks in the armor in SUBTLE ways like that. OCD is not a thought problem, its a FEELING problem, don't let how you FEEL make your decisions for you.
@TexasOCD41 You have NO idea how much you have helped me and everytime i will have attack i will read this. Thank you SO MUCH!!!🙏🙏
Looks like it is time to work with a specialist to help you through all of this! No reason to spend 9 hours a day thinking about something that, if it is OCD, you will never solve anyway. Please consider reaching out to work with a specialist who can help you through this. All the best.
@Patrick McGrath But I am scared that they will tell me that i don’t have ocd
@spelamarela - Patrick McGrath is the founder of NOCD. Im pretty sure he just "diagnosed" you lol. If he says see a specialist, id trust him.
@TexasOCD41 Yeah but no matter how much reassurance i get it’s never enough i feel like there is just too much “proof”
@spelamarela That’s Ocd. Iv had it for over 20 years. I’m no expert but I’m pretty damn close and everything you’re saying is SCREAMING ocd. You literally have OCD ABOUT having OCD.
@TexasOCD41 Actually before I started having doubts about my sexual orientation, I actually had an intense fear of having OCD. It was very similar to the obsession with sexual orientation, but then I started having doubts about my sexual orientation. One day, I remember being literally scared of both having OCD and being a lesbian. But then I discovered HOCD, and now I hope that I have OCD, but I’m scared that I don’t have it😂😂 it’s all so confusing because three months ago i was terrified of ocd but now i want it😭😭
@spelamarela - well you have it for sure. You're best bet is to get with a therapist and start working on this.
It feels like all day every day right now. I did have long periods of remission in the past
@CobraMan Same, it sucks
for the past few months, it's been every waking moment. maybe around 15 or so hours. I started going to bed earlier to avoid my thoughts as they tend to be a little quieter and less convincing at night. but then the sun comes up and my brain starts again and then i have to wake up. it's common when you're ruminating or obsessing about a specific theme to spend several hours thinking about it. i relate to how you're feeling and im sorry that you're struggling. sending strength 🫂
@moon027097 Omg same it’s so much better when it’s night time. We can get through this…
Hello peeps! So for the past like 3 weeks I was struggling with SO-OCD where I was worried if I was gay or maybe Bi and so on. ( female) And I always thought I was straight or was straight but then the thoughts would come up and stress me out if i was either gay or bi. And the thoughts would stress me out and make me think a lot. I have a bf too for 6 years so as you can tell it caused quite a struggle in our relationship. Also been dealing with Relationship ocd as well which I feel like SO-OCD go hand in hand, in my opinion. It happened 2 Years ago too but this time it's just more intense I guess? So my question is, this past week I feel like I've been doing better, more okay than I was the last 3 weeks. But now I guess when I think about these thoughts or if I look at a female or see one I still kinda get what if thoughts or I do a compulsion and try to test myself if I would get with one and stuff. But now it doesn't bother that much. It's kinda like oh? Idk how to explain it but it doesn't give me that anxiety spike, at least rn. Sometimes it feels like my brain has accepted that I would? But like I can't tell if that's ocd or me actually being in denial still. It's hard to explain. But the other day I was at the book store with my bf and we were looking at the manga section and I saw a girl on one of the covers and it felt like I reaacted to her as a crush type deal? But I've always liked guys so it's confusing. I tried not to think too hard about it this week. But I do feel like if I see a attractive guy now or even a fictional one. It feels like my brain wants to skip passed it because it's not a girl so it's like "you can't look at a guy rn" Lmaooooo it sounds dumb but that's what it feels like 😂 Or sometimes I would think oh maybe I would get with one( a female)? And usually that line or thought would stress me out so much for the past 3 weeks. And now it's more like okay, maybe I would? But idkk??? So I guess my question is, is this like another ocd trick or is it me just like tired of the thoughts that my brain was like I need a break haha? Or could possibly mean I'm gay or straight just I'm denial or won't come out?? It's confusing I guess. I'm also in a relationship for years and I've been struggling with the thoughts cause obviously It causes a toll in our relationship. But now I just worry what if we're not compatible or like maybe I'm in denial? Like especially since the SO-OCD theme popped up it just makes me feel like what if I'm im the wrong relationship? It's just been tough cause it caused a dent in our relationship. Just relationship ocd things. He's been trying really hard to keep it together and not worry but I feel like I lost feelings for him due to all this worrying. I just get unsure what to feel or think now and days. ( ocd sucks lmfao) But I just wanted to know if someone has gone through something similar, if you are straight but had all these SO-OCD thoughts come and how did you face them? Also when I had harm ocd for a year, I literally did my best to avoid my bf cause I thought I'd hurt him cause I loved him so much you know? So this whole Relationship OCD and SO-OCD theme is annoying. I mean I hope it's SO-OCD and I'm not in denial but idk???? Ughshshhshhsgsggsgg. I have clinical depression too so it's even more confusing cause I be feeling emtionally numb sometimes so it adds more confusion haha 😎 I also just wanted to vent as well haha. Thanks for whoever took the time to read and whatnot! If you have any questions to ask me regarding what I said, I'm willing to answer too haha
I have had soocd for 5 years and it impacts me all day everyday every minute. I’ve read that some people only have it 1-2 times a month or for like two seconds a day and it scares me that I don’t have ocd. Because mine is legit constant and so scary
I'm so afraid of thinking something inappropriate around family and friends that I overthink everything I think. I've been dealing with this for months and I thought I had learned how to deal with it, but I feel so suffocated. Right now I really can't breathe. I don't know what to do, I talk to people in this community but I still feel so alone.
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