- Date posted
- 30w ago
Guilt
Does anyone know how to deal with guilt for something you did as a kid that you feel is disgusting and worry that it could have hurt someone you loved.
Does anyone know how to deal with guilt for something you did as a kid that you feel is disgusting and worry that it could have hurt someone you loved.
Yeah I feel that way, it's taken so much from me for over a year now. I can't forgive myself, I feel like what I did was pretty bad. But I constantly remind myself I was a kid and should just forget it but my mind doesn't let me do that. Idk how to just forget it and move on, I'm constantly paranoid about it
Arguing with your mind by saying you've been a kid back in the time is compulsive. This is why thoughts keep coming back. Thank your thoughts for reminding you and invite them to stay longer and practice that. I know it sounds weird in the beginning but it's practice.
@Pluriel Does that work? The last thing I want is for them to stay longer
It's a process. I've dealing with guilt and other mental fallout from stupid things I did as a kid and that's really all I can say. When it comes up to bother me I just remember that I can't figure out what happened back then and I can't keep bringing those events into the present. I focus on my ERP and sit with the anxiety as I go about my day until it passes. And I just trust the process. I can't hope to have a certain outcome. That's the hardest part. I guess just remember that your current self doesn't owe that guilt anything
I’ve said and done so many hurtful things growing up, especially in elementary and middle school. I was very passive aggressive and mean for a majority of my life, and I’ve hurt peoples feelings. I’m no longer like that now, but every single thing I’ve ever done wrong replays in my head constantly, from the moment I wake up to the second I go to sleep. I know I deserve to feel the chronic guilt and shame, so I feel even more guilty pitying myself. It’s eating me alive, I’m so scared. I know people must hate me, and they have every right to. feel like I don’t deserve to have moments of happiness because I’ve taken that ability away from someone before. I’m not diagnosed, but this has been going on for years and I’m scared to talk to anyone about it because I fear they would look at me differently knowing I’ve hurt someone’s feelings. I feel like a monster. It’s ruining my life and I don’t know what to do.
I am really worried that I may have SA'ed my little sister. When we were very young, and I mean, really, really young, I was 5 I think. I used to kiss my sister, because I was curious and my mom caught us and she told me not to do it again and I didn't. But when I was about 11 she felt on my lap and I liked the sensation so I tried to rub myself against her. I tried to take my life because of this, I did therapy and everyone, including my sister, told me that I was just a child, and my sister admitted to having done similar things and she said "Would you blame me?" and I said no because she was a child and barely understood what was happening. My therapist said that I mimicked adult behaviors when I kissed her but she was so young, like barely 4 years old and I feel sick to my stomach and I just want to die.
When i was between the ages of 11-18 i was a very mentally ill and hyper sexual kid. I did a lot pf sexting, sent nudes, and even one video of me doing inappropriate things that haunt me to this day. I have changed a lot since then and realized that this was all jn relation to (TW!!) sexual abuse i experienced as a child/teen. I still feel horrible for the things that I have done and think about this daily. I beat myself up because I know it was wrong of me to act that way growing up. Im afraid that someone will find these texts/pictures/videos one day and it will lead to my complete humiliation. I want to throw up at the thought of people i know and love seeing me act that. Its not who I am or who I ever was. I regret that part of my life so deeply it hurts.
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