- Date posted
- 21d
Reassurance
Sorry for getting on everyone's nerves by reassurance seeking. I am just struggling and feel like a real P. I just want some help while I wait on my next therapy appointment
Sorry for getting on everyone's nerves by reassurance seeking. I am just struggling and feel like a real P. I just want some help while I wait on my next therapy appointment
No worries ❤️ We all struggle sometimes with reassurance- seeking on this app
@OneDayAtATimee Thanks friend. Someone accused me of acting on the thought. Being a P. Now I don't know the truth and it's sent me in a deep spiral
@Anony1314 I’m sorry they made you feel like a P :( Keep in mind that they are a stranger online who doesn’t fully know your heart, your mind, or your OCD. So they will say whatever they want and that doesn’t mean it’s actually true in reality. That’s the unfortunate part of asking for opinions from strangers online- people feel comfortable to say anything (mean things that will hurt you, misinformation, etc.)
It’s not about annoying others, though maybe someone feels that way. We are telling you not to seek reassurance because it’ll only make your OCD way worse (and it has). You have to be able to sit with the discomfort of your intrusive thoughts and NOT take your OCD/intrusive thoughts seriously. That is something very important you have to learn and continually work on when it comes to dealing with OCD.
Hey friend you are going through one of the toughest things imaginable and there is no shame at all to find yourself struggling. We care about you and want to see you get past this and get to a much healthier place - and it absolutely can happen. Being compelled to seek reassurance again and again? That's just what OCD does. And having someone accuse you of actually being a P must feel INCREDIBLY distressing. I totally concur with the other commenter on your previous post that the person in question doesn't know WTF they are talking about. Please understand that there are trained, professional talk-therapists that work with clients everyday who aren't trained in how to recognize OCD (much less how to treat it). And if trained therapists sometimes can't diagnose it - even with a patient that they are actually treating in person - how the heck is some rando person online possibly going to know WTF they are talking about? May I ask, since you mentioned your next therapy appointment, are you working with an OCD specialist trained in ERP therapy, either through NOCD or elsewhere?
Hello! I just got diagnosed with OCD a week ago and joined the app today to find a sense of community. Since my understanding of treatment is minimal at this point, I'm confused why everything on here tells us not to seek or give reassurance? If someone could explain the reasoning behind that it would be greatly appreciated, as I want to make sure I'm not only watching out for it in my personal life but also using this app appropriately.
hi! i often fear im going to lose my job because i made a “mistake” (not really) that my manager caught and is waiting to tell me about or i fear im going to be kicked off the roster of a team im on for small mistakes that everyone makes. this often compels me to ask those people if i did good or not and gauge their reactions to see if theyre going to remove me and i fall into a cycle of asking and asking. how do you guys deal with these feelings / compulsions? when im flaring i often just spend as much time around these people as possible to gather “evidence” of their opinion on me, but then i get nervous that they hate me for being clingy. i also abandon other duties / tasks so i can spend time with these people to make sure they like me. what do you guys do? anyone else experience the sentiment?
First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond