- Username
- Daisyandconfused
- Date posted
- 1y ago
I don’t know who I am anymore
It’s so exhausting. I’d sob but I’m too mentally tired and I don’t want to upset my husband who’s lying beside me.
- Username
- gp gp
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Not sure of your theme, mine is SOOCD/ROCD, and I feel you. It’s like you went from being sure and confident in who you were as a person (wants/desires/needs/etc) to someone who feels so unsure about who you are. Your mind is telling you that you want these things, even though you don’t think you do. It makes you feel guilty. And it all feels inevitable. It’s like - you feel like you have to do something that you really don’t want to. At least … that’s my horrible experience with this.
- Username
- DaisyandconfusedDaisyandconf...
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Yeah, definitely very similar to that. It’s terrifying.
- Username
- My OCD AcademiaMy OCD Academia
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@gp 100% my experience too gp. I don’t know who I am anymore and when I say I know I’m straight, it feels like I’m telling a lie or i’m just trying to convince myself of something that’s not true. I feel so helpless sometimes
- Username
- ctmontctmont
- Date posted
- 1y ago
I have definitely been where you’ve are. I’ve been married for ten years and we have 2 kids. I have had moments where I’ve slipped away to cry in the bathroom by myself because the thoughts have been so overwhelming. “You’re wasting his time. You’re not being true to yourself.” ERP is the only way to make the thoughts shut up. Just met with my therapist a few days ago after a recent lapse. Just tell yourself “ok, maybe that is what I want. Thanks for letting me know, OCD.” Try not to feed into the thoughts and fall down the rabbit hole. Grounding yourself in the present moment is also super helpful. Telling yourself “this will pass. I’m safe.”
- Username
- gp gp
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@ctmont Hi. Thank you so much for responding. When you first overcame your SOOCD, was it purely with ERP? How did you move past the “feeling that it’s true”? Did you just have to relentlessly accept the thoughts and how they made you feel, that they felt real and just power on with your life? Any tips for someone who is really struggling with being stuck at this feeling true/real that I fall over with ERP ?
- Username
- ctmontctmont
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@gp That’s exactly what you do. To be honest, I have had lapses but you just need to trust your values and continue to tell yourself “thanks for the reminder, ocd but I’ve got this.” It’s not easy and at times it still feels impossible but the lapses are temporary.
- Username
- Lucapup1!Lucapup1!
- Date posted
- 1y ago
It’s a horrible feeling. When I start to feel this way I practice gratitude in my head. Even for the smallest things. Like the roof over my head
- Username
- Ditto Ditto
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Same
Related posts
- Username
- anonysheis
- Date posted
- 24w ago
OCD exhaustion
OCD is so strange because I feel so mentally exhausted 24/7 but i’m so good at masking it that like it’s like i can think double. I’m not sure that makes sense. But i am so used to the OCD thoughts racing through my head that i can respond to my environment whilst completely existing in my head. I can have conversations when intrusive thoughts are taking over my inner dialect. I feel like i am even doubting whether i have OCD and whether it’s all just an excuse. I feel like my rumination hasn’t stopped for the past 3 years. Everything i used to enjoy or look forward to, is now dread and tainted by the thoughts telling me i never knew. I don’t even know what i like or who i am anymore. The thought of getting help and talking through it all scares me because what if i’m invalidated or if i speak about it too much then what if i don’t stop thinking. I’m so exhausted
- Young adults with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- OCD newbies
- Relationship OCD
- Students with OCD
- Existential OCD
- Username
- bsbsbdnsnsn
- Date posted
- 23w ago
living (vent)
im just living day by day. i’ve stopped doing the things i used to like doing because i don’t want to ruin them. i dont want my favourite music, movies, shows and hobbies to be tainted with anxiety and my own thoughts. im a shell of who i used to be and if i had the choice i’d do nothing. at this point i’m living to cover up my emotions. its even harder because i’m not actually diagnosed since i dont think i could handle telling my parents about what’s wrong with me. i have a lot of the symptoms and i’ve had them since i was quite young (16 now) and it just hasn’t been getting better, im just better at hiding it now. i dont want to bother my boyfriend or parents with my issues so i have to deal with everything myself. i don’t find anything fun anymore and i want to die, i have nothing to live for and i quite simply want it to end. i always think it can’t get worse but i fall deeper into my sadness and me saying i’m alright to people is a lie. i feel so incredibly trapped i don’t know what to do with myself anymore.
- Username
- Dalia H.
- Date posted
- 19w ago
“What if I have no identity?”
Been really worried about this lately. Having a huge identity crisis and worried that i’m just a shell and what if I just take the identities of people around me? I’m scared
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond