- Date posted
- 10d ago
8 months of "talk therapy "
Hi fellow OCD warriors I'm at an all time low :( I've been battling ocd since I'm 11 years old now 31 I didn't get a diagnosis of ocd till I was 17 years old though! I also have a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder...depression and panic disorder ... I know myself what needs to be done in order to gain more self control and let ocd take the backdoor seat ! Erp I have seen and heard is the gold standard treatment for ocd...unfortunately my previous psychiatrist moved away and when I mentioned how I felt to new psychiatrist and that erp is main treatment he just laughed :( . I've had 8 months of basically talk therapy which I feel has made me question weather it was beneficial or not :( I left her room in tears weeks ago because she is retiring soon and said we were finishing up I just told her you can't help me anymore so I'll have to just go :( I feel guilty as she tried her best with me but unfortunately I'm stuck in a constant loop of thinking I'm responsible for someones death who I had an interaction with years ago due to my episodes with my bpd and past trauma and bullying been triggerd !and I know deep down right this is irrational and it's my ocd but I still can't shake the shame and guilt of it all and am half believing it's real and true :( this is going on weeks now and I'm tired! :( Responsibility ocd it is also and real life event I can indetify all of this but still feel ashamed guilty embarrassed and like I can't live with this 😕 Sorry for such a long post I appreciate your time and effort if you've read this far .