How do I deal with genuinely horrible real events?

@slippery_salad You always give some of the best advice man. I hope you’re doing well and stick around on the app because your support and posts mean a lot. Thank you.

@IHopeWeWin Thank you my friend. Im here to help as long as I am able:)

@Anonymous3914 Yeah that’s exactly how I feel. It’s almost comedic sometimes because I feel guilty for not feeling guilty. When I finally start moving on it either comes back or something else I did starts to haunt me instead. It does get a little easier to just sit with it but I have try to keep myself distracted to not ruminate or research for hours. I basically resorted to doing what you do by trying my best to just sit with it and ride it out. Thankfully, I have this app tho. I don’t really have people to talk to except for like one person. So, seeing experiences similar to mine or other people who understand really saved me from losing myself completely. Helps me feel less alone.

@IHopeWeWin For sure. I only have one person that I can talk to about this as well. And the feeling guilty for not (feeling guilty) is the worst. I’m worried about just sitting with it now, I’m starting to just numb out to everything. I worried that I’ll have to live in this constant loop for the rest of my life. The app does help though, like you said helps feel not so alone in it.

@Anonymous3914 Yeah I get the loop and numb feeling as well. I figured that if I do have to live with it then I can at least try to learn how. As miserable as that might be. I struggled with that idea since I didn’t want to live like this and I’m still not sure if I do. I’m trying to live though. The way I view it is I can at least be good now if I wasn’t back then. And if I really was as bad as I think I was, then It’s even more reason I need to live because I need to be as good as I can be to pay for what I’ve done instead of escaping it by dying. Either way I have to at least try to live and be somebody better than I used to be. Hopefully you’re doing better.

@Anonymous3914 Also, I change my mind about that one person I can talk to. I mean, I do talk to them. But, I struggle to tell them as much as I’d like to because a lot of what I’ve experienced has been really embarrassing, absurd, and gross. I basically had unregulated access to the internet from an early age and saw some nasty stuff. Hopefully you’re able to be more honest with your person and have more support. I wish I had someone I could open up to 100% about these things but it’s difficult to find people willing to talk at all. Even on this app (as much as I love it) people rarely reply or talk. I just wanted to say I hope you’re getting support since I struggle with it.

@IHopeWeWin I am actually extremely lucky and have someone that I can tell everything to and I do mean (everything) she is my best friend and has also been through crazy situations along with her own mental hang ups so we just completely understand each other. I still didn’t tell her about my ocd for a while though and was scared how she would react out of paranoia but she accepted me fully. I had also seen too many things on the internet while younger and it has caused me a lot of problems. I’m sorry you don’t have anyone really in person that you can be completely honest with about your situation and condition. If you need someone to open up to fully I’m available and will not judge you at all. You can text me on here or on something else if you want. I will always try to text back as fast as possible. I know what it’s like to deal with this kind of ocd completely alone and it can be too much on some one’s mental state. I completely understand if you don’t want to talk to a stranger about it though.

@IHopeWeWin Sorry I just saw this post. I completely understand stand this. My guilt did get so bad at one point that suicide did seem like the better option than living. I felt that I deserved to die then live at all. That’s when I broke down and finally told my friend what was going on. I think I’m past that point now but it’s still lingers some days. When I have a really bad relapse.

@Anonymous3914 Well, I’m glad you’re still around. I had a similar event where It got really bad for me but I broke down and just confessed everything on Reddit since I didn’t really have anyone else. I regret it since I didn’t explain it all very well and worry now about people who misunderstood. I try to put it behind me though and some time after that I deleted the account and the posts. Thankfully, I met the person I said I talked to on one of those posts and stayed in touch with her after making a new account. The feeling still lingers for me too but I do my best to live for the reasons I mentioned on my reply.

@IHopeWeWin Glad you’re still around too. It’s good that you’re trying, it’s all we can really do this point and hopefully one day we can find some relief in knowing that the past isn’t who we are. And we are trying to be good people. You sound like a very good person and I hope you get through this.

@Anonymous3914 I hope so too. Also, discord or insta? I mentioned it in the other reply but you didn’t answer. It’s ok if you change your mind and don’t want to talk tho or something. I could download an app you prefer if neither of those work for you as well.