Angrymitski

Date posted: 7w

Sexual intrusive thoughts

I live everyday constantly having questions such as “what if you want to sleep with your dog”, “what if you want to sleep with _____’s child” and “what if you want to sleep with your sister”? Im so sick of these intrusive thoughts, POCD is my main, and most troubling, subtype and I’m just so sick of it; i dont know what to do, I constantly feel like a pedophile and I’m exhausted. My problem lies in the fact that Im starting OCD recovery but a lot of my compulsions regarding these thoughts are avoidant or purely mental, and considering the theme these feel too massive to combat. What’s some advice for beginning to battle these intrusive thoughts?

Hannah 12

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 7w

Hi :) I have the same issues regarding sexual intrusive thoughts about everyone and have been able to mostly conquer them. My POCD magically subsided after doing my exposure work so that’s great but then just went to everyone else that I care about in my life. So you’re not alone first off. Second I am curious what kind of compulsions you are doing because mine were and still are all mental as well. My biggest thing for avoidance that really helped me was I spent time in places where there were a lot of children. I let the disgusting horrible thoughts come and always responded with I might be a pedophile. I went to parks, family members, libraries, etc. each time I always responded with “I might want to harm these children” I might be sexually attracted to these children” I might be a pedophile” etc and I just let them all be there and accepted that I have those thoughts. After consistently doing these exposures I finally noticed a decrease in the severity of the thoughts and the distress that would come with and the physical sensations that always scared me. Lastly, I like to remind myself that I would care this much, I wouldn’t worry this much about these thoughts, if I actually were attracted to children. That’s not to give reassurance haha but just a nice bit of info that helps when going into such uncomfortable situations like that

Angrymitski

Date posted: 7w

@Hannah 12 Hiya thank you for the response, a lot of my compulsions, especially the avoidance means I won’t leave the house at run time, I can’t say the name of the building where the children go, I cannot drive, or walk past or near one, I can’t look at the children, or even be on the same side of the road as them, I’ll have my headphones turned up 100% of the time when I’m out the house so I can’t hear any of them, so I don’t really leave the house much. And when I get intrusive thoughts about those that aren’t children, I will just avoid everywhere I know they go to, I won’t talk to them, if I run into them I look down and ignore them etc. for my mental compulsions im really bad for trying to figure out why I think this and then my intrusive thoughts feeds kf this and it’s a cycle I can be in for hours.

Hannah 12

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 7w

@Angrymitski You’re very welcome. I’m really sorry you’re struggling with this. It feels a lot easier to just avoid than to have to have all of those scary feelings come up so I completely understand :( for all of those avoidance examples you listed, I would start with trying out one of those things and facing it. For example the not saying the name of the place where children are at, begin exposure work with that. Unfortunately it will feel impossible at first, but I promise you just by saying that name over and over for 15 minutes or until you finally notice you’re not as distressed by saying it, it will get easier. Then once you’ve finally been able to do that with ease move on to the next thing. Drive by a school maybe. It might suck so bad but the more you do that, the less scared of it you’ll be. I hope this helps and I know it’s much easier to say than do but from experience, I have found these exposures to be so so helpful

Angrymitski

Date posted: 7w

@Hannah 12 Thank you, it means a lot. <3 And I got this, I can work towards finally conquering my OCD 🥳🥳

Hannah 12

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 7w

@Angrymitski You are so so welcome, seriously! Yes you can! You can do this 🤩🤩🤩

Hannah 12

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 7w

Oh and for those exposures, my therapist told me that I should try to aim for 15 minutes or at least until my distress levels decrease by 50%. So if I was at a level 8 when I started then wait until I feel like a 4 on a scale from 1-10 if that makes sense ahaha. But seriously I know how hard this is and I still struggle with the intrusive thoughts but it has gotten easier

Angrymitski

Date posted: 7w

@Hannah 12 I will try implement this into my ERP, thank you

Hannah 12

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 7w

Lastly, idk if you’ve gone to the taboo thoughts support group but that really really helped me. I never spoke because I was too scared so I probably should have haha but hearing everyone else’s struggles, some of them being exactly the same or similar to mine, felt comforting in this really daunting process

Hannah 12

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 7w

It will feel incredibly wrong and so uncomfortable but trust me the more you keep at it the easier it will get and the less you will be tied down by these thoughts. They’re just thoughts! You don’t want them there and so eventually it gets easier to remember that :)

Angrymitski

Date posted: 7w

@Hannah 12 Honestly the only progress ive been able to make is being able to say the word children and it still freaks me out but not as much so I know it gets easier it’s just hard trying to apply this with such a taboo subject yk?

Hannah 12

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 7w

@Angrymitski Oh I totally understand. It feels so wrong. I just felt like a horrible person for having to apply it to such awful topics. But I hope you give yourself a huge pat on the back for making progress even though it might not seem all that much, you’re doing an amazing job fighting back.

grellen2000

Date posted: 22w

Intrusive thoughts (21+ please)

I need advice for intrusive thoughts. I used to feel like I could handle them. They weren’t nearly as bad as the things that related to my actual life. But now, I’m suffering. I haven’t had a sexual experience in over a year that didn’t involve constant intrusive thoughts. Most are somehow related to kids and I keep chasing off the thoughts but it’s so bad. I know you’re supposed to ignore them but I don’t know how I can just ignore that and continue what I’m doing. But they’re coming on stronger. I had one earlier I could not get rid of just as things finished so the thought came on strongly just before my orgasm hit and now I feel absolutely disgusting. I hated the thought and I know it’s not me and it was not enjoyable but it still feels like I was getting off to it. I feel sick. I’m so fucking tired of these thoughts. They’re in my every day life too and it’s all the time. I just want it to stop but ignoring it feels so wrong. What should I do?

footballNY32

Date posted: 22w

POCD FALSE MEMORIES ADVICE?

Hello everyone I need some advice. I’ve struggled with what I think and hope is ocd for a long time. It started when I was 14 I had a concussion and my brain convinced myself for 9 months that I had this concussion. Then I had a gf at 15 before we were official I did a terrible thing im regretful of it for sure. I kissed another girl. I told my now ex girlfriend about it and I started to overthink the situation and think maybe I slept with the girl or maybe we did more than kiss. In reality we didn’t. when I turned 16 I started having thoughts of maybe I cheated on her with other girls at our school. It would be false memories of me sleeping or doing things with 4 or 5 other girls. That eventually went away as I would ask reassurance like a crazy person. Then one day what I believe was either Christmas time or new years around that time I had this thought “what if I SA’d my ex little sister?” This thought tormented me for so long I couldn’t believe it. As she was so young it would be impossible for me to do that without someone noticing plus that’s absolutely horrifying and disgusting and I’ve never ever ever ever been alone with her or desired to. Then what I knew would happen came along with me thinking I SA’d my little sister or my baby brother at the time. It was a horrible experience. Then it went to me thinking I was a pedo without the false memories. Then it went to my other siblings thinking I did something to them in their sleep, I did something to the pets, etc. As I got older I realized what ocd was and what I was going through and it eventually all went away. But as time goes on I’m now almost 24 I have spiraled back into thinking I SA my ex little sister. It’s crazy because I’ve never had that desire or anything at all it would absolutely break me if that was true. With something like this saying maybe not maybe it did is crazy because it’s a serious thing. I’m getting therapy on Monday and am just wanting my life back. I just recently got engaged to my beautiful fiancé and I want to be regular again. Anyone have any advice or even have gone through the same scenarios? It’s just so tough.

Anonymous

Date posted: 14w

Need help, PLEASE +18

I got diagnosed with OCD (variant POCD) about 3/4 yeats ago. Lately I've been really confused and makes me uncomfortable this ideas that I've had dreams in my sleep where I have romantic/sexual interactions with my older sibling— I know it's disgusting, and I don't know what to do. Recently I got a boyfriend after years of being without a partner, and he makes me so happy along my friends, but sometimes at random points of the day I have this episodes with minors or my sibling, and the ones with him start to go heavier when I'm at home or alone. The first thing that comes to mind for me to do is always how much I don't wanna live, harm myself or what is my purpose at this point (22fem) having this problems. I feel weirded out when I pass them over, and suddendly think about not giving them the atention because how important they are in a negativa way. I'm just anxious writing this, I need help. Is someone living the same? How do you work on it? I will always be like this from now? — thanks in avance and sorry for mistakes, english isn't my first language

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