I struggle with looking back at a past social media interaction and thinking catastrophically. It’s the worst because I’ve deleted my account and can’t go back and check.. which of course my OCD wants to do. It gets to the point where I’m scared something is going to come out and I’ll get arrested one day. It’s so scary! I feel like I don’t know what’s real and what’s not anymore.
This is common in OCD, so you are definitely not alone in this. OCD can be very convincing, especially when you want strong reassurance. Do you work with an ERP therapist? ERP helped you learn to tolerate the unknown and accept your doubts, to minimize how long you’re living in fear.
hey i struggle with this as well! in the past, I used to religiously check social media before I went to bed just to make sure I hadn't accidentally uploaded or posted something super weird. I've also deleted social media accounts and thought omg what if i did something weird but now I can't go back and check. So I understand how you're feeling. It is super scary and sorry you're having to deal with it. With anything related to OCD, we always have to go "maybe. Maybe not. Never going to figure it out with full certainty", but that's easier said than done so it takes time. I hope it gets better
Are you able to see a ocd therapist that is practicing ERP and accepting uncertainty?
@No matric certificate I do have an ocd therapist, but facing uncertainty here feels so daunting. I know I must.
This is so totally normal. In fact, I've had almost these EXACT same thoughts. With that in mind, the best thing we can do is accept the uncertainty. When we accept and sit with the uncertainty of these thoughts/fears -- without compulsing, checking, seeking reassurance, etc. -- we take some of the negative charge off the thoughts and that lessened charge gives them more space to pass through us. Either way, I'm sorry you're feeling this. If you haven't already, I'd encourage you to check out ERP -- Exposure and Response Prevention. It changed my life!
@OCD Helping Hand That makes me feel better. I just want to see the conversation so badly and know for certain who I was talking to. It was just so long ago I can’t be certain! Ugh!
@June123 It’s tough I know!
Shall you live your life or shall you live your life in fear? Let's just say for sake of argument that I wrote something and I will get arrested for it one day. Should I sit and wait to get arrested, or live my life until I do get arrested? I choose to live my life, and not sit around and wait. It does not seem like a fun thing at all to sit in fear. Now, I wish it were that easy to just go and live your life. But, it is possible. If you want to get help with that, check us out here at NOCD. We have therapists who are waiting to meet with you! We can help you live with doubt and uncertainty. OCD does not have to be in the driver's seat of your life.
I went to bed one night in November, and I can't quite say what happened, but I believed that I had a "memory" from childhood. I won't discuss what, but I had "remembered" doing something sickeningly awful. This thing came to me almost as clear as a real memory. I remember thinking something along the lines of 'How could I forget doing something like that?' followed by a feeling of complete horror and terror. I have moments of "clarity" where I can't believe that I'm questioning doing this thing, and it appears obvious that it's false. But now, I'm more than often believing that I did. I am spending 24/7 fighting my head, and it's taking me to dark places. I know this is the worst thing to do, but you don't understand, if this is real then I am a monster and I can't just adopt the 'maybe I did, maybe I didn't approach'. I just can't. I have to know. I'm so scared. My entire life is on the line. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Literally no one. I feel like I'm insane, like I'm a monster, like I'm hiding my true identity from everyone I love. Does this sound like False Memory? Or am I in denial, trying to convince myself this didn't happen? Why does it feel so real? And why do I have moments of clarity? I also had my first nightmare about it last night. Please someone help me.
im going to be vague here, but basically i did something in the past that i regret and it became a huge point of my OCD but i have talked to my therapist and i have mostly moved past it. i watched a video by an OCD youtuber that really put it into perspective. anyway, i have been with minimal worry for a few days, but now im having worries related to i think false memory? basically it’s like “oh but what if i said/ did this and just forgot that means i harmed this person im a bad person”. to me it sounds like textbook OCD but im just wondering if anyone else has experienced false memory / real event at the same time. i have a really horrible memory which is making it even more stressful. any responses are appreciated!
Very brief mentions of pocd and nsfw jokes,id like this to be adults only . Repost bc i had to edit something Does anyone have experience with real event ocd attached to your online footprint etc? I keep checking old messages,trying to find old people i knew i used to talk to etc. To find out every problematic thing I did and if I've ever been unfollowed or blocked by anyone I used to be friends w online/atleast on good terms w. I am particularly concerned abt doing something bigoted,esp racist bc i have racism ocd,and doing something predatory bc of my pocd. I remember hanging around people who could use 'edgy' or offensive humour in my teens and i remember a lot of sex jokes and that i would join in on sex jokes sometimes . i dont remember details w the offensive humour as much,i feel like i didnt join in on it as much but i was definitely WAY passive abt things and prob let a lot of bad stuff slide i shouldnt have bc i didn't speak up it was wrong,I remember one friend in an online community would say slurs and horrible jokes when i was 16. I dont remember my response to it as much but i feel i didnt speak up abt it aside one time i found in the dms where he made a bad joke on a thing i shared for social justice. I cant stop going thru old messages and stuff or trying to find ppl from the past. I feel like if I don't check it now,that eventually it'll come to haunt me or that I'll stumble across it eventually. I worry what if someone messaged me on one of these apps I un-installed or on one of the accounts I don't have access to,confronting me abt all this stuff I did. I had an obsession w this back in 2020 and did check in depth on all my accounts,but now that it's been 4 years the obsession is back in full swing.
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