Diagnosis and therapy

It seems like there’s so many different forms of OCD that i’m truly left wondering what i’m seeking help for, and if this is even going to work for me. How do you know when you’ve had “false memory OCD”, “relationship OCD”, or even “suicidal OCD” i feel like i’m just so mentally twisted that i’ll just take whatever kind of help there is , even if this isn’t really what’s wrong with me? How would I even get my own boyfriend to understand what i’m going through if I’m diagnosed with OCD?

I have been to a handful of therapists in my life since 2019, some who were helpful and some who were not. I have been categorised my entire life as a “perfectionist” by my friends, have blood relatives who are diagnosed with OCD, among other things, and I’m just lost. The overlap of symptoms that I have with various other mental disorders is confusing me. Is there any definitive document I can refer myself to? Is my only hope to see an OCD specialist to find out? Does anyone have advice as to what to ask a CBT therapist? I’m in a financial bind, and just need some reliable resources and answers.

I went to see a psychiatrist today. She was pretty nice, but even though I was listing ALL symptoms of OCD, all the obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, she was uncertain about it, as if she did not understand what was going on. She didn't rule out the possibility of me having OCD, but she didn't confirm it. I understand that doctors usually won't diagnose patients in their first visit, but goddamn... I'm so scared right now. I keep doubting that I have OCD myself, I identify with all the symptoms but I doubt it all the time and feel the need to reassure myself that I have the disorder. If I don't have OCD, my life is fucking over. She gave me a diagnosis for Generalized Anxiety Disorder and prescribed me some medication. I received that diagnosis because I shared some of the trouble I'm going through at work. But if I fear that I don't really have OCD if an actual mental health professional can't recognize that as OCD. All the relentless researching, rumination, mental checking/testing, spending hours doing these things to achieve a sense of certainty and avoiding things out of fear of getting triggered.