is there something wrong with me

I've been in a constant state of panic since last night. My brain...oh my brain I'm so sick of you. I have intrusive thoughts that tell me "I don't exist" "I'm already dead" The panic and hyper focusing has caused so much DPDR that I feel disconnected to where it truly feels like I ceased to exist. No matter what I tell myself, I can't calm down. Nothing is a distraction, not even video games. I don't feel real. It feels like my own voice in my head is numb. I can't concentrate, my memory is awful, and I'm just all around scared. I can't believe it's gotten to this point. I don't know what to do...I'm terrified.

I started seeing every little thing as a sin. Or at least things that will bring bad karma. Everything, even little things like listening to music or enjoying a meal. In my eyes, everything everyone is doing is mostly sins and it terrifies me to death. It scares me to the point of paralysis and I can’t even do anything anymore because everything is a sin in my eyes. I’ll definitely spiral if I think about it more, but if I don’t, I feel like I’m lying to myself. I don’t even have confidence that this is OCD anymore. What if I’m right (I’m not necessarily wrong according to my religious doctrines, not that I’m a 100% sure) and nothings going to help me, not even therapy? And if most things humans do are sins anyway, what’s the point of anything? (See how it starts relating to an existential crisis) I’m terrified that no one’s gonna be able to help me anymore. I feel like I’m at wits ends. I don’t practice Christianity btw. Any insights or even “me too”s would help.

I feel like im loosing my mind. I feel like i experience derealization or what. I feel confused like very very confused. I cant even think normally. Im just tired. I feel like im loosing myself. Im scared that everyone tells me that i have OCD, but what if this is all true? I dont think and im scared that other so-ocd sufferers dont feel this way as i do. I feel literally, LITERALLY so convinced that this must be true. It feels like i already accepted that this is true. Im done. My brain is broken. I even started to have thoughts like what if i have schizophrenia or dissociative identity disorder. Help me please. Do i have psychosis or what?