I need advice

I've been dating my girlfriend for 4 months now. I know that I want to be with her and that no one else compares. We are currently doing long distance but will be together in a couple of months. I have multiple intrusive thoughts about finding others attractive or liking the attention other give me. At first I was okay with this because I knew that that i wasn't going to pursue anyone over these feelings. A classmate of mine, began sitting with me at lunch and everytime we talk I get thoughts. Comparing my partner to her or admiring her. Yesterday, they were constantly appearing. I wanted to run away from her because of all the thoughts I was having. I felt pretty sick and then thought of a moment where I "flirted" with her. I began to feel guilty even though I knew that I have absolutely no intentions of being with this person whatsoever. But I continued to think about this moment, I said I'd never do something like that again and moved on. But in the afternoon on the way to the store with my mom, I was looking out the car window. Im not sure why, but a part of me feels like I was doing it because I was curious of what attractive people I would see. Then this guy drives past and gives look of checking us out. I gave that look back. But I immediately felt guilt because I flirted back. And it felt like I was looking for people to pursue. I know that I do not want to cheat or betray my girlfriend, but in that moment I felt like that way the reason for me looking out the window. I'm not sure what to do.

Username: HopeM365HopeM365

Date posted: 37w ago

I just tried the app “Unstuck” today and it helped me stop a compulsion. It sounds like you’re struggling with the compulsion of rumination & trying to “figure it out”. I’ve been in your place, feeding the compulsion and thinking I was getting closer to the answer, but in the end, I just wasted time. Stopping the compulsion to alleviate anxiety will probably help more than giving into the compulsion to alleviate anxiety. Hopes this helps!

Username: cam!cam!

Date posted: 37w ago

Thank you! I'll definitely give it a try.

Username: StudybugStudybug

Date posted: 37w ago

You're in a relationship that means a lot to you and that's exactly the reason why your OCD is attacking it. Try not to analyse every look you give another girl or every interaction you have with them, it doesn't mean anything but OCD trying to sabotage something good for you.

Username: cam!cam!

Date posted: 37w ago

I know this, but sometimes it is hard not to give in. 😔 I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 37w ago

Everyone “messes up” from time to time. If you feel bad about it, just try to accept the feelings and move forward. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person!

Username: cam!cam!

Date posted: 37w ago

Thank you, I really needed to hear this.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 37w ago

@cam! Of course! Just remember, you are your own hardest critic

Username: 💟

Date posted: 25w ago

exposures

so I've been trying to do what my therapist said while she's on vacation for a few weeks and do some of my routine exposures. One of them is watching tv and not looking away when there is children on screen. I tried sitting through a preview of a shows first episode that featured a young girl in a Victorian outfit with blonde hair, and he had very ghostly white skin and powder pink lips. It was a ghost show, which is the kind of genre I usually like, so I wanted to try and enjoy the clip. And my therapist always told me to "not appraise the thoughts, our goal isn't to avoid them, but to let them pass" but as I kept watching, I kept getting mental voices telling me that "she's pretty you want to kiss her" and I felt almost frozen in my seat? I felt a kind of anxiety I haven't felt in years, but I tried to continue to watch the clip and let it pass, but I couldn't. I felt this mental need to go back and "check" to really be sure if I was attracted to her, I pictured kissing her and idk if it even counts as an intrusive thought atp? I felt like if I were to have the thought and then prove myself I was grossed out by pushing it away I would feel better, but it didnt. My brain just kept telling me that I wanted her and it was very much on purpose to test to see whether I felt that way or not and it did and I kept feeling that horrible form of anxiety that makes your face hot and I don't think I was really TRUELY attracted to her but it's like a fucked up twisted form of attraction that's false but feels real at the same time? Idk if that makes sense... idk, I'm trying my best but I feel like I NEED to think the thoughts, letting them pass isn't enough. Or like the thought will stick in my brain and it'll keep going like a mini movie playing in my head and it feels like almost like I'm fantasizing even though that isn't what I want to do. I feel like I have no choice but to push them away or else I'll have a horrible realization... idk... I've been struggling with this for 5 years now. I don't even know how to properly articulate how I feel in those moments it's so confusing that I don't know how to describe it to my therapist. How do people just lable their feelings on things so effortlessly? Why is it so hard for me? Idk I don't really want reassurance bc it won't help but I just want to feel like I'm not alone in this.

POCD

Username: stxrmads

Date posted: 24w ago

please read

why did I have a dream where I basically cheated on my boyfriend???? what I can remember of the dream was there was some random guy (No one who I know he was just random) and me and him were "testing things" like hanging out and we were kissing and stuff???? and then I went through a grocery registration line and my mom was there and looked at me a certain way when I kissed the guy as to be like "you know you have a boyfriend what the hell" and then after I told the guy "hey maybe we shoukd stop doing this I don't think it will work out" and then I don't remember anything else I kinda woke up feeling super guilty. I don't even know why I had this dream I have never wanted to cheat on my boyfriend or had a desire to be with another man like that why did this happen. what do I do. I feel like in some way I'm being unfaithful by having that dream. even if im.nkt I'm worried the dream may mean something about me or my relationship. please someone give insighf

Username: stxrmads

Date posted: 24w ago

I need to talk about something

content warning: talks of explicit acts and fear of cheating or attraction to another person I had a dream yesterday about breaking up with my boyfriend and now I had a dream I cheated on him. They scared me but I've realized that they don't really mean anything. I only am freaking out again because while I was self pleasuring earlier, I was thinking of my partner and watching him until I had an intrusive thought someone I just saw in a tik tok and that got me there. im so scared because I didn't mean to let my mind slip and I really feel like I need to talk to my partner about this because i feel so guilty and I know something like this would hurt me if the situation was flipped so I don't know what to do. why did I like the thought so much to that point??? how do I convince myself I don't need to tell my partner even though the guilt is setting in and it feels so wrong? I feel ashamed and unfaithful and terrible I hate that this happened how I do know what to do what if it wasn't an intrusive thought and I enjoyed it even though I tried to change my thoughts?

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