Username: Catlove9

Date posted: 50w ago

For those who have recovered…

How were you able to finally take the risk that you could be a horrible human being or could have done horrible things? How were you able to do it? That’s where I am struggling. I totally get the concept of a thought is a thought and it’s not dangerous. But if what I fear is true, it would be horrendous and I’m so scared to let go. I’m so scared to take the chance that I could be a monster. So if you have any advice for how you were able to let go and take the risk, I would love to hear it. Each time I try, I just get more scared and revert back.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 50w ago

I think for a long time I struggled with intrusive thoughts and feelings that I was psychotic and either convinced myself I wanted to do crazy things or was just controlled by the image of me doing something and really disturbed by the idea that I COULD do something like that. One thing for OCD like this that I like to think about is, there are people who enjoy being harmful and horrible people and they indulge in it. And then there are people with OCD, who are allowed to live with this "risk" because it is clear that they are good people but living with it and embracing that you're still a good person because you wouldn't act on it is the only way you'll perceive yourself that way. Really become in tune with the idea of controlling your actions. You can't control thoughts, ocd-produced "urges" (that aren't really urges), vivid images, etc. but you can control if you act on them or not. Once you get used to the idea of not acting on them and just classifying them as another idea in your head whether its good or bad, because it won't harm your morality if you simply don't act on it.

Username: Catlove9Catlove9

Date posted: 50w ago

@Anonymous I do try this and I like to remember actions are what matters but then it feels like the OCD convinces me I’m going to do it and also convinces me I have no control. Which really scares me.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 50w ago

@Catlove9 hmm i think i used to have this a lot, to be honest, you should sit with yourself in a completely undisturbed space like your room. somewhere safe, nothing harmful near you. just sit there and think all your thoughts let them pass through and then even when the biggest "urge" or thought comes along that you will do it, just sit there. practice sitting there hearing your thoughts but not listening to them. obviously right now it feels like your ocd controls you and your actions, but YOU control them so once you practice this more and more you'll be more familiar with the concept that thoughts do not define you.

Username: Catlove9Catlove9

Date posted: 50w ago

@Anonymous This is a really good idea! I think I will try it. I need to start practicing it because I know that’s the only way I’ll ever get better. I just need to take the risk.

Username: nanchrachnanchrach

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 50w ago

I have been thinking about the physical aspect of how our brains are wired and why OCD is the way it is. I also like to remember that I’m not perfect, no one is and everyone has weird thoughts. I remember that the anxiety feeling isn’t bad just a malfunction in my brain and choose to accept that there is a chance I’m a horrible person but who am I to let my OCD dictate who I am and ruin my life from my fears. It really boils down to how willing are you to battle and go to war with your OCD to have a life you can find meaning in? It’s scary and not easy and that level of acceptance is so hard!

Username: Catlove9Catlove9

Date posted: 50w ago

@nanchrach It feels impossible at times because it’s almost like I’ve lost touch with reality. It’s terrifying.

Username: nanchrachnanchrach

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 50w ago

@Catlove9 OCD makes you feel like that. Think of it like this….your brain is tricking you into believing everything about your true self is

Username: nanchrachnanchrach

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 50w ago

@nanchrach A lie because it is so obsessed with your biggest fear that there is no room to think or worry about anything else. The best advice is to talk with compassion to yourself, accept the uncertainty and feelings of anxiety and remember they don’t last forever. Your brain is a muscle and talking to yourself and reminding yourself of the truth which I know doesn’t always feel like it’s truth is what is going to help you overcome this sense of feelings and emotions that you have. I’m not saying that it’s easy it’s extremely difficult, but speaking from someone who’s been where you’ve been and come to the other side the only thing you can do is work your brain like a muscle and remember that it’s not against you. It’s just doing its best to protect you, and you have to teach it that not everything you think or feel is bad. So good luck! I hope any of my advice helps.

Username: Catlove9Catlove9

Date posted: 50w ago

@nanchrach This was truly helpful. Thank you. It’s good to see someone who’s been where I been get through it. Because right now I feel like I must be different and this can’t be OCD and I’ll never get better.

Username: Kat3268Kat3268

Date posted: 50w ago

I am currently struggling with intrusive thoughts. I have had thoughts in the past, but over the past 2 years, they have gotten worse. I almost feel afraid of myself. The worst time is right before I go to bed. I fear that I may sleep walk and act on them. I have recently started Prozac and I am only about a week and a half in so far. They seemed to really get a little worse about day 4 or 5 of the med. Im trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel and hope that once I hit the 4 to 6 week mark, things will lighten up for me. I also struggle with anxiety and depression and one major thing has always been taking medication (of any kind). So, I guess I am going in the right direction of atleast trying this medication out!!!

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 50w ago

@Kat3268 i have heard that you may react to the meds badly before you get better, so that could be a sign of progress or at least the medication actually affecting your body!! so maybe it's the adjustment period and it'll probably show change in a few weeks, just hang on!! and if its been 2 years, then think of weeks until progress as "nothing" compared to that so the time will go faster:)

Username: Catlove9Catlove9

Date posted: 50w ago

@Kat3268 It’s definitely going to take time to kick in. Last time I was on Prozac, it took a while and my OCD was worse the first week or so.

Username: Anonymous321

Date posted: 25w ago

Recovery stories please!!

Please share your stories! I have really bad real event, false memory and POCD. I’m struggling a lot right now feeling undeserving, feeling like everything I’ve ever done in my life was meticulously calculated. Funny thing about OCD is even if I see someone do something way worse than me, it won’t phase me unless I’d done it. For example, something minor I did that really could mean nothing, my OCD convinces me it proves my ocd right. In light of the disordered times, I’d like to ask for someone to share their ocd recovery story, maybe some tips and how they did it. It’s feeling pretty impossible for me right now. Thank you!

Username: Mitu_001

Date posted: 19w ago

Any advice, please?

I feel so bad..I feel really bad.I just keep thinking about something.I cant get that out of my head.For 2 years I couldnt get it.And I am so scared and concerned.Can it be because is disturbing? I think then ruminate to see what reaction I have then I feel horrible for thinking it.is so intrusive and horrible.I mentained myself for too long.Now I break down .I cant anymore.I keep having it.almost everyday.I have no reaction now..I am scared and exausted.I feel like a criminal.I feel like I enjoyed it ( it sounds terrible , I know) and I am so scared.my brain cant have a reaction anymore..I cant..Can it be because I am exausted? I am so scared and disgusted and tired.Is related to pocd..The worst theme.It started 2 years ago..I think it changed my life.I feel like I am not who I was...I feel like a monster.I want to go back how I was but idk how after these thoughts .I am scared because I had them for too long...I feel destroyed...A monster..Like I am hiding under a mask..Like no one should trust me and I dont deserve anything..I am so scared to talk to a therapist.I am scared my fears will be true..please ..any advice? Thank you if u read all this

POCD

Username: OCDwontwin12...

Date posted: 18w ago

I just need to know I’m not alone

My ocd convinces me that no one else has the ocd thoughts I have. I am newly PP and had an intrusive thought about my baby that sent me into the worst panic attack imaginable. I went to OBGYN and she said “but you aren’t having thoughts about harming yourself or the baby right?” I had to lie. I obviously didn’t want the thought, it’s my biggest fear. But how can we be honest with our doctors without being locked away. I had visions of them taking my child from me or me being locked away and now I’m just spiraling. I went down the rabbit hole for sure. How do we know what intrusive thoughts we can tell our doctor/therapist??? If I can’t share what’s going on in my head, then how am I supposed to know that I am not alone 😭. I want to find a therapist on here to work with but my ocd convinces me that no one else has struggled with what I have for some reason or that my ocd is “different” and I’ll be reported. This is miserable. Can anyone else relate? It’s like it convinces you that you are the “worst case” & what If it’s not even ocd. This has kept me from getting the therapy I know I need. Hope someone can give me some insight…

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