- Date posted
- 1y
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I'm about to give up.... i can't take it anymore its Been a little over a year with this false memoryand I can't tell if it's real or not and I can't keep living like this...
I'm about to give up.... i can't take it anymore its Been a little over a year with this false memoryand I can't tell if it's real or not and I can't keep living like this...
Don't give up! I get you, but I have been living with this false memory ocd since kinder!I have gotten SO much better over the years and its all because of therapy! So your in the right place if you want to get better and I belive you CAN get better. Smile!
resist, meditate on the facts. at least you know what the problem is. just cuz you can imagine distressing scenarios very vividly doesn't mean theyre real life or that they have control over your actions. your memories and imagination are being oppressed, but never surrender to your oppressor. i believe in u God bless
You've got this! I know it doesn't feel like it, but trust me, you do. I just started with NOCD and I'm really amazed with the word NO and how impactful it is. I totally get how hard it is, but tell yourself, NO, I'm not going to analyze that. And that's that. Hope I could help.
17f Just like the title says. I came to realization that I lost a whole year of life. I remembered my real event in the end of january of 2024. Since then my life has been a living hell. Also kinda made a couple new smaller events through this year. And I know I deserve it cause my event was actually bad. Even people without ocd on reddit agree it was bad. It's still ocd, but I deserve it probably. For this whole year I haven't had a day when I wouldn't think of it. It became my default state to constantly have it on my mind. I walked around, pretended to have fun, talked to people. Most of the time I wasn't really there, I was thinking about my event. My event haunts me when I'm awake, when I'm asleep. I spend this whole year either freaking out, being depressed, thinking on methods to off myself, ruminating, seeking reassurance or trying to distract myself with books, TV shows, social media or daydreaming. Literally barely engaged with reality. So it's so hard to believe a whole year passed... I can barely remember anything that happened during this year. I can't believe this is my life. Probably doesn't really matter cause I don't plan on staying there that long. There is no way I'm going to experience piece with myself. So I will be out in a year or so, since my plan requires some time. Finally will end it all. It just feels very weird. A whole year passed. I was so deep down in my head I didn't even notice. It's scary.
This situation just happened and I can definitely remember how it went but my brain is telling me otherwise and I know you guys said to sit with the uncertainty but what if the intrusive thought is so bad like disgusting, I can’t sit with that. Maybe it’s false memory but this just happened. I don’t even know how to live with this
How do you know the difference :( I genuinely cannot keep living in this torment. it all started with an ‘intrusive thought’ where I had like a hazy flash of something reading an article. and I remember thinking ‘what if’ and ‘what is this’ and then that intrusive thought turned into me ‘remembering’ something else. which caused me panic. then I started trying to find evidence because it contradicted what I remembered this entire time. this was last year in like september. fast forward to march this year, it came back up- but this time stronger and with more ‘details’ and what nots. and I’ve been ruminating on it since then trying to remember and connect and It’s like I’ve added all of these details. but are they real? or is this just my OCD? I just feel like if it were real I would have never been able to keep it to myself. but also what if it was so traumatic that I blocked it out? because it all makes NO sense for me to do something like that. but it also fits what I was thinking at the time. idk
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