- Date posted
- 1y ago
False Memory OCD
my mind telling me i had sex or did anything sexual when i KNOW i didn’t…especially when i’m drinking this is a problem. i wish i could just enjoy a drink with friends or family.
my mind telling me i had sex or did anything sexual when i KNOW i didn’t…especially when i’m drinking this is a problem. i wish i could just enjoy a drink with friends or family.
I had the same problem in my last relationship. He touched me while I was sleeping once in the beginning of the relationship and then after that I would get really paranoid sleeping next to him in bed and so one day I started wearing tampons to make sure I knew forbsure if he raped me in my sleep or was it just something I dreamt about. Once he realized what I was doing and he began getting really angry about it because obviously I ruined his plans.
I am going through something similar right now as well, even though I didn’t have too much to drink. OCD will latch onto absolutely any situations that are easy targets for uncertainty. Drinking and sleeping are big ones for me personally, or really any time I don’t think I’m giving perfect attention to my surroundings. Sometimes it helps to remind myself that ocd is predictable and it’s not surprising at all that it would take advantage of these opportunities to cause more fear and doubt. It only gets worse when we ruminate, especially in the case of false memory. The more you try to replay a moment in your head to prove the intrusive thoughts aren’t real, the more familiar they will seem, and ocd will try to trick you into believing that if it feels familiar it must be true! You’re definitely not alone in this, just keep trying to move forward and accept that you will never get certainty about anything that happened in the past, and trust that in any given moment you were doing the best you could :)
@cr2857 Also, something that helps me is to move forward with my life as I would if my ocd wasn’t a factor. If I didn’t have ocd, I would not be concerned about having a few drinks with my friends and family out of fear that I would lose control and do something bad. You deserve to live your life and do what makes you happy, no matter what ocd tells you :)
I went to bed one night in November, and I can't quite say what happened, but I believed that I had a "memory" from childhood. I won't discuss what, but I had "remembered" doing something sickeningly awful. This thing came to me almost as clear as a real memory. I remember thinking something along the lines of 'How could I forget doing something like that?' followed by a feeling of complete horror and terror. I have moments of "clarity" where I can't believe that I'm questioning doing this thing, and it appears obvious that it's false. But now, I'm more than often believing that I did. I am spending 24/7 fighting my head, and it's taking me to dark places. I know this is the worst thing to do, but you don't understand, if this is real then I am a monster and I can't just adopt the 'maybe I did, maybe I didn't approach'. I just can't. I have to know. I'm so scared. My entire life is on the line. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. Literally no one. I feel like I'm insane, like I'm a monster, like I'm hiding my true identity from everyone I love. Does this sound like False Memory? Or am I in denial, trying to convince myself this didn't happen? Why does it feel so real? And why do I have moments of clarity? I also had my first nightmare about it last night. Please someone help me.
I’m having the need to confess that I was unfaithful to my girlfriend (even though I was not) because I drank too much Saturday night and don’t remember every single second from my evening. My OCD immediately goes to that I cheated on my girlfriend and I need to confess my sins. I know it’s only OCD, but the thoughts are extremely strong. Any suggestions? Thank you, community.
Any advice? I just got triggered by false memory OCD. There is no indicator or memory of me doing anything bad, only the what if. So how can I deal with uncertainty because if I did do the false memory it would go against my morals?? Not something extremely unforgivable just like not ideal and against my morals… I don’t know if it happened. I have no memory of my false memory happen only the “what if” which is enough to scare me FOR CONTEXT: I was in the mental hospital when I was 16, and made a few friends. Some just a grade below me, so 14-15. I remember bringing up in convo someone I met previously at the mental hospital earlier in that year a different time I was hospitalized , to which a boy responded he knew her, and they did (seggsual) stuff at their school. The girl I was talking about at that time was 14. So im assuming the boy was 14 as well. 13 and up is together in the hospital, so he couldn’t be younger than 13. I have no memories of him flirting with me or me flirting with him. Or anything bad happening. Literally just “what if”.. or what if he wasn’t 14 but 13 and u said something inappropriate or flirted with him. I will never be able to know what happened and I’m sick thinking about this. 13 and 16 is NOT WITHIN MY MORALS. I am worried because the only inappropriate I guess convo had is when he was telling me what happened between him and that girl I knew. I also remember him having a bulge down there and it freaked me out and made me feel weird at the time because I noticed it. (At this time I was already diagnosed with OCD and experienced POCD) I try to tell myself maybe maybe not. But the what if it did happen makes me feel like a p33do, and me thinking it didn’t happen doesn’t satisfy me because I don’t have 100 percent certainty
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