Is racism OCD a thing?

race ocd is 100% a thing. since ocd is egodystonic, if you care about racism and social justice you will probably get intrusive thoughts about it, because ocd targets what you love and care about most. I hope you’re okay, just remember you’re not alone and ocd can take many forms. at the end of the day, it’s just ocd and not a reflection of your true values.

A slur repeating in your head is not racism, as intrusive thoughts aren’t who you are. If you were actually racist, it would mean that you find your race to be inherently superior to others, in which case, you wouldn’t have posted this. The fact that you are concerned at all shows that you are not. It sounds like you are sometimes around edgy people that engage with edgy comedic content, that makes you feel uncomfortable (because you aren’t racist), and then appraise your desire for socialization with your current social group that has some edgy members in it, with being racist. “If I am not racist why would I want to spend time with them?” Because they are your current friends and being lonely is no fun. Maybe these aren’t the friends for you, maybe they are, but either way, being friends with people or having a thought loop of a slur is not racist. So, in this case I would unequivocally say no, you are not racist, and to use your response prevention methods to remind yourself of that. I always say that if someone is genuinely concerned that they might be something “bad”, but they aren’t sure, then they aren’t what they are worried they may be. You would know. There wouldn’t be any doubts or checking. Praying you can tackle this fear with limited distress, and if there is distress, that you learn to use your response preventions to lower your worries in this vein. 🤙🏽D

I have been interested in like.. justice and stuff since I was 13. I would continuously repost and spread stuff about the BLM movement that was occurring in 2020, and while it’s kinda slowed down, my therapist has always told me I’m one of the most empathetic people she’s ever known. So when this started, it was very distressing, esp bc it would get worse around my Black friends at times (which I suppose makes sense. It’s targeting the source of a lot of it). Overall, im okay, I just think it’s caused a lot of disconnect between who I truly am as a person and what I care about. Thank you, I really appreciate your response.

It used to not be this way, at all. They were never like this, my friends. But then the online ones started using racial slurs, and I swear every time I was on call with one in specific, she would accidentally say the n word (literally a Freudian slip) and freak out, hang up, and then call me back. And it just happened so so many times that I just grew numb to it?? Same with the people back home, I guess. I always start thinking / hoping that maybe they’ll be better this time, that they won’t do this, but all throughout Halloween they just sat on their asses and watched people make racist and sexist jokes, and it’s like, do I really want to spend time around these people? Because it seems like once one person started doing it, they dragged everyone else into it, and I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve already yelled at someone once for using the N word, but it’s just not getting through their fucking heads. But like you said, I would be incredibly lonely. They are the only friends I have back home, and without them, I’d simply be bed-rotting. I’ve known them since my childhood, it’s so hard to just, drop them without warning. It makes my chest tight, just thinking that I could possibly be racist. I guess that’s a sign that I’m not, and you’re correct. But it’s always given me so much stress, bc what if I’m lying to myself and everyone around me, and I secretly am this way. It’s been a reoccurring theme I’ve noticed over this past year. No matter how many times I tell myself that I can get better, that I’m not like that, I always fall back on the same thing, again and again. But thank you, it means a lot to me, having someone sort of talk me down from that pedestal and point out that this likely isn’t the way I am. I hope to one day shake these thoughts and feelings. You’ve been so kind, I hope you have a good day, wherever you are :33 (also I really like your name on here, demetri is really cool!)