Super bad ocd

Lately, i felt extra bad as i can't do anything: listen to music, read books or fanfiction, role play, make fake scenarios in my head or watch movies. All the medications, including zoloft, lexapro and other stuff; therapy; talks with other people with ocd are bassicaly useless. Nothing helps me. Spiralling over weird topic: starting 'you loved your bully' (WHICH IS NOT TRUE), continuing 'you can't read, imagine scenarios, role play cause it will give you groinal responses, and you're gonna do smut' (i'm asexual, by the way) and ending with some strange topic about having meltdown about Chani goes back to Paul (that is sad, but why am i so worried about that? It's literally made up couple). Ocd never ends, it only gets worse. Over my main topics i have 'additional' ones, like: i have no friends, but i can't say or think about that, because 'it's out of my style'. I just don't understand, cause i really want to have a friend, but i feel so guilty admitting it. Or topics about washing my body and hands, having food poisoning and many other ones. Please, give me some tips or idk. I feel so bad. As i said, I started spiralling over MOVIE PLOT and i just can't stop for some reason, i even understand that this topic is super weird and just silly to worry about. But i still feel so anxious and devastated about Chani being back together with the person who betrayed her. I just can't stop having thoughts about that and googling if she's going to leave him in the 3rd movie (at least in the middle or in the end). I've been feeling and spiralling like this already for TWO DAYS now. I keep repeating my compulsion phrases in my head all the time. I feel so bad and tired. I really want this to end, i'm so tired of ocd. Sorry if it has a poor grammar, but i can't really think about it right now

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Date posted: Yesterday

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Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

Yes

Community AI...

User type: Staff

Date posted: Yesterday

Happy to share! One thing worth naming first: the googling about what happens to Chani in the third movie, and the phrases you repeat in your head, are both compulsions — the same loop as the washing and the contamination worries, just wearing different clothes. That's part of why the theme can jump from a bully to fanfiction to a movie plot and still feel equally urgent: the content keeps changing, the compulsion doesn't. One thing you can try today is delaying instead of resisting — when the urge to search or repeat a phrase hits, set a timer for 20 minutes rather than telling yourself "never again." The urge usually peaks and starts dropping before the timer is up. "The Three R's: Research, Rumination, and Reassurance" https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/the-three-rs-research-rumination-and-reassurance Breaks down researching, mental replaying, and reassurance as the three compulsions that hide in plain sight — which is likely why two days of searching and repeating phrases has brought relief for seconds and then more anxiety right after. "OCD Rumination: How to recognize and treat it" https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/the-rumination-trap Goes deeper into rumination specifically as a mental compulsion and what ERP targets, which matters a lot if the therapy you've had so far focused on the content of the thoughts rather than the compulsions. Mental compulsions are genuinely hard to treat on your own, because they're invisible and they feel like thinking rather than doing — that's where a therapist trained specifically in ERP makes a real difference. NOCD offers a free 15-minute call to get matched with one, no commitment required: https://www.treatmyocd.com/calendar 🤍 Are you working with a therapist who specializes in OCD and ERP specifically, or more of a general therapist? 💬 Was this response helpful? Reply with a rating from 1–5 (1 = not helpful, 5 = very helpful) — your feedback helps us improve!

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