The one thing

@Boooperbear Also if you need someone to talk to about it, I’m definitely here for you!

I think I'm having trouble being able to try and accept it because if I accept it that must mean it's true 😞

@khloe😻 I know it sounds really terrifying :( but try to remember, you’re accepting the thought, not that there’s meaning behind it. You’re accepting that you have an intrusive thought that sucks and by saying “maybe it is true, maybe it isn’t”, you’re essentially voiding it any power over you because you’re not giving it any energy. Accepting that the thought may or may not have meaning doesn’t actually make anything real or not real. It just allows you to stay in the present moment and be the amazing person you actually want to be without those loud thoughts ruining your day 😊 you’re strong, and I can tell you have amazing energy!

@Boooperbear Did you struggle alot with guilt of those feelings. For me i just feel like i am lost because i should never have felt like i was giving in. However it felt like a psychosis in the end where you start to lose touch with who you are etc. Now that im out of it i feel so guilty like ive wrecked myself for having such thoughts or feelings. Like it felt so real at the time that you feel like well thats it ive done it im ruined.

@Anonymous Yes I have the same feeling

@Boooperbear Thank you so much ❤❤ this has really taken a toll on me the past year, especially once I turned 18 and sometimes it just feels so real

@Anonymous It can genuinely feel real to the point where you’re just kinda unable to tell what thoughts feel real and which ones don’t. It’s really important to just keep pushing. Eventually it peaks and only gets easier from there. This is just my experience though. I don’t wanna preach this like it’s going to work for every single person. But I would definitely say it made a massive difference for me where I can live my life without fearing those thoughts anymore. I still have the thoughts from time to time, but I no longer feel scared to live my life in fear of intrusive thoughts. Sometimes they catch you off guard and I just say “wow, that was definitely a thought wasn’t it, thanks ocd” and just move on!

@khloe😻 One thing ive learnt is that you must just try to accept the past and accept the uncertainty of what you are etc and then thing will by default become clearer. This wont necessarily change your feelings of the past but it will mean you have less memories to add to your guilt. If you think about it most people dont even analyse what their preferences are right they are confident and they arent interested in the question do i like this or not they just accept by default that they arent. I know for myself what i like and thats certainly adults but its the doubt that exists that you cannot accept but we need to accept it. Its silly really doesnt matter when you think about it if theres some susceptibility to this because of you had a preference for adults that other thing would never be important. Thats how you need to accept it i believe. Imagine everyone has capacity for bad right but most people have no true desire for it. We are just so caught up looking at every little detail we need to look at the big picture and not analyse every thought or feeling. Still, i wish i had had this approach early on its just hard to forget how lost i became.

@Boooperbear It plays all sorts of tricks like "was that voluntary thought" or sometimes thoughts dont seem as disturbing after some time. Makes you analyse thoughts and then when you analyse you dont get the response back so you just accept thats what i am. Its evil haha

@Anonymous I think the worst part is like when you think your fear is attraction, like yesterday I saw a video of a girl adjusting her shorts and I was so falsely convinced it was attraction even though I knew I didn't like seeing it and it scared me

@khloe😻 Did you not have any experiences where you felt in the moment like you had given in like the thought appealed to you only to be filled with severe guilt following. For me everyone seems so strong always resisting the thought but at times in the moment i havent felt like resisting followed by severe anxiety and horror.

@Anonymous Yes but im starting to realize how fake it all is. When you're constantly evaluating your self of course you will start to believe it. And of course you even start to feel dissociation from who you really are

@khloe😻 Im just struggling to believe it was all fake i mean in some moments its genuinely felt like exciting or like leaning into it. Then you look back and think why did i do that. Its only when re-evaluatimg myself do i realise this isnt what i want but you still feel guilt.

@Anonymous I think its false memory

@khloe😻 Maybe, my explanation is arousal non concordance. I literally had one moment were i was like dont get that feeling and it came because i was thinking dont get it.

@khloe😻 False memory can happen too. I know it did for me. I don’t wanna give too much reassurance because it typically fuels ocd even more. But just try as hard as you can to keep going day by day, noticing those thoughts but keeping yourself in the present moment. Sometimes it’s cool to imaging yourself as a stream of water that gently moves around rocks. The rocks are your intrusive thoughts and you’re the water passing them by. You don’t have to crash into the rocks, you can just keep gently going along and carrying about your life.

@Boooperbear Also, try and be proud of yourself. You’re on here, you’re trying to take steps in the direction to become the person you want to be and to overcome your struggles and fears. It’s trial and error, you’ll have ups and you’ll have downs. But you’re gonna do amazing and like I said, I’m here if you need anything!