left group chat impulsively. feeling horrible

i did it right after they sent a message about something unrelated after i was venting about my ocd. this happens a lot wehre ppl send something and the responsibility is on someone else to reply. theres a diffusion of responsibility. but it hurts my feelings im just not cut out for friendships bc im too ill. i guess its better that im gone bc they dont have to put up with that. the thing is i left like 10 mins after a friend texted and i feel horrible bc i dont want her to think its her fault its just in general. last time i did this they texted me all individually. this time, i dont think they will. becausw im a bad person. because i left. because i put the responsibility on them to figure my thoughts out even if its just this once that i was more distressed. i need to learn they are not therapists. maybe i can use the excuse that im just overwhelmed with my mental health and ocd in general. idk how much more of this i can take. this disorder takes everything from me

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

I totally understand you. I get that sometimes our friends/loved ones may not have the emotional capacity. But I saw your conversation and I will add that your friend didn’t respond appropriately. Imagine the roles are switched: Imagine your loved one or friend is texting you about their harm thoughts and how much of a dire situation they are in. Id be so worried! I can’t imagine responding with “anyways there’s a new mochi flavor out.” That was wrong and hurtful of that person to answer you that way in your crisis. A more appropriate response was that your friend could have instead offered you at least a few words of encouragement and then say “hey I don’t have the mental capacity to carry this right now but here are some crisis resources like 911 or 988.“ But try to turn this experience into a helpful re-direction: you now know who won’t be there in bad times and this is guidance for you to find a better friend. Real friends care about each other. They are out there. Just don’t give up and you will find them. Keep your head up 🧡

ihateithere

Date posted: Yesterday

@Love1another<3 thank you alot for your words. i just feel like years of friendship gone down the drain. maybe ill ask to be in the group chat again and just see them as “fun time friends” but i dont have any friends for the not fun times. i hope they at least understand my reaction. im scared they may be talking about me behind my back now

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 19h

@ihateithere I agree that it’s fun to reserve them for fun moments only. And that’s okay if you don’t have reliable friends right now. Hard times aren’t permanent. Things can change. I’ve gone through many periods of my life of losing friends but I always gain new friends by putting myself out there and not giving up 💖 It won’t happen quickly so you’ll have to also learn self-love and being content with your own company. But more friends will come in time :) Also if people are talking behind your back- that hurts, but at the same time it’s okay because they don’t know how to deal with mental health matters appropriately anyways, so their opinion on the topic isn’t of importance. Everyone has bad days, you are human. And someone who knows well about mental health, wouldn’t judge you for having a human experience

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