Before i had Soocd i wasnt aware of what kind of men i like(im a girl) After it i got attached to specific type of men as if i found my type in men.. Many say their prespective and types got ruined due to OCD But mine seems to be different Is it ocd or am i pretending to have a type
It's common to have a type that's normal, a lot of people in relationships have their type morph based off the person they are dating because the familarity boosts attraction i believe. I would only say it's an issue if your type of man or ideal man is so hyperspecific that it i'd be more or less impossible to find one who checked most or all boxes. I'm like this to but IMO it's not an issue inherently, it's more about if the standards are realistically able to find in other people, and your true ideal isn't realistically available, if you are able to be flexible and accept and still date people who don't check 100% of what you want in a guy. It's impossible for anyone to check everything you want because everyone is flawed. The issue with modern dating is i think everyone expects or is looking for a perfect partner Also just because it feels perfect or the right thing in your mind or in theory or in idealization, you could actually get what you wanted and it be terrible. Situations in your head are set up just so in so many ways that there is no issue with anything going wrong in the practice. But in reality scenarios, those things won't be in your chosen ideal scenario. Also there's the sometimes what you want isn't need kind of saying. It depends though. The main thing is to balance what your type is and what you want with reasonable expectations and flexibility. The biggest thing is if you idealizing or have a really strict idea of what you want, you have to let go that a partner will be exactly like you see them in your head (the perfect partner thing) because that personally is impossible to exist because perfect people don't exist. It's still totally ok to base your attraction to real people off of it, but it's more about letting go of what's in your head and if you see someone who is in the ballpark of your type, don't worry about if they check the boxes and just talk to them and see if you like them in the moment on its own without comparing it to a list. I guess you could technically go about dating doing the box thing but based off what ive seen most people who do that are alone and complaining its the other people's fault when the only one who can set up your expectations is yourself I hope some of this makes sense. You could always try writing a list down, i know the whole time i said boxes dont matter but maybe categorize your ideal person and have non neogotiables vs preferred but required
i am aware of thing that im not gonna find an ideal partner like the one in my head not everyone is born perfect and life is so uncertain But i don't know why i have this desire to date east asian guys they attract me most than men of my country.. Its not like i wont date or get attracted men of my country..but idk i noticed this That my "type" is something that pulls me Maybe shaped by media spiritual belief and being delulu.. But i will make sure my feets are on the ground
@doomed >3 Yeah based off what you're saying imo you just identified a preference. As long as you are not obsessive or illogical/completely inflexible with it than it shouldnt ruin your dating life. I think the people like who you said where it is ruined, theyve obsessed over it so long or they are just inflexible to it and it's to the point where it ruins everything because you can't apply rigid specifications to people we're just too complicated. Also based off that preference it is pretty broad because there are different east asian cultures depending on the country and region and immigration. Now if it had to be guys of a certain country or had to have certain kind of job or something than you're looking into a possible problem cause that's going to narrow it down. If it was like he has to be from this country, and he has to have this job, and he has to make this amount of money ... when it gets that specific and you can't or aren't willing to let at least a few go than you're probably going to stay single. So i think you are ok just make sure you keep your options relatively broad so you don't self sabotage out of happiness just because it wasn't the same as what your brain imagined. If you do daydream aboit stuff like that a lot I would also recommend not getting attached to just one specific hypothetical guy, think about other imaginary boyfriends who are a bit different people so even if they do influence what you have there are more traits to work with Lol. I don't know if you are more this type but just in case you are that's my advice for that I hope this helps or still makes sense but yeah imo youre okay just stay relatively open minded, in this and in all areas of life too cause that usually tends to go in your favor
@LilyB. I have kept dating at a last rank Cause for me..I've been flooded with hocd,college ,career,family issues, study And what not.. So its not the right time.. once I'll acheive my goals I'll be free to date whomever i want to and by that time it would be right time right place.. Hopefully may it be right person too?
I have experienced every theme that can be added to post but I’m currently experiencing those. So I am on the spectrum and I happen to have a high sensory profile and it definitely gives the ocd more to latch unto. I would see a pretty female with makeup done and it eatssss and I would notice the facial symmetry + how her features compliment each other and my ocd would be like why did you notice she is pretty, BECAUSE I HAVE EYES😭! I can’t be the only neurodivergent person that notices details and how attractive people are intensely? I do not even care about orientation but I know for sure if I was into women, it won’t just start plaguing me one evening Im my head shouting “you are gay” like man Im a female at least say you are a lesbian 😭😂😂😂😂. How can I genuinely have no interest and get outrightly repulsed by females sexually and romantically. It feels like I am being forced to be something im not. I tried accepting i am lesbian but I experienced more anxiety and could not sleep till I accepted i am still straight and it is ocd playing with me(ocd leave me alone, I don’t even enjoy playing with you) I accepted i am a lesbian like ocd said I should but why do I still love my ex and hope I marry him😭 + I couldn’t bring myself to be interested in females. OCD leave me alone because I don’t enjoy this game again! I’m not homophobic at all but denouncing Im straight doesn’t feel like home and I still find myself yearning for only men
I’ve been dealing with SOOCD for over a year now, and I have been having a very hard day today. I feel like I just need someone to talk too, my whole life I’ve always had girl crushes and always wanted to be romantic with women . Ever since I posted this picture on instagram and one person said I looked “zesty” in it , which is when I started obsessing about being gay . I feel like I put so much meaning to these thoughts where now I’m always checking how I feeling around men. I had a really bad porn addiction for a long time and bad anxiety which fucked up my sex drive. I feel like I doubt if I’m attracted to women when I know I am , but the doubt is so overbearing where I start to believe it . I never was interested in men sexually, and my ocd makes me feel like I like the thoughts even though I feel no pleasure out of it. I feel like I lost who I am as a person . It feels like I don’t even know what my sexuality is and it’s really upsetting to me . I meant this girl the other day and she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I just feel like ocd is getting in the way😭😭😭 please any advice or comments
I wouldn’t really say I have SO-OCD, but it manifests in some areas of my TOCD. Like if I see a woman for example my thoughts will go “what if I like her but as a man?” like my thoughts say I’m a straight man instead of a straight woman. And it’s really bothering me. If I see an attractive woman my brain will re-wire and imagine myself as a man looking at an attraction woman and it gets super uncomfortable that I have to like shake my head and say “no no no no no” multiple times to get the thought out. I know that counts as a compulsion but it’s hard to not do it because it’s so triggering. Now I don’t mind if I like women, however I’m really scared that I’m actually a straight man who likes women (or at least a bisexual man, considering I like men) and I hate it because I don’t want to be a man. Like I’ll think of my desired relationship as a woman dating a man but my OCD will switch it up to me being the man dating the woman, which is the opposite of what I want. I don’t want to be a man at all and I don’t want to date a woman, both of those are the opposite of my desires, but I’m still so scared. I’ll accept myself if I actually like women and am a bisexual woman, however I heard that being bisexual can mean being trans which scares me (for the record it was said in reddit by a sub which is mainly focused on a pseudoscientific phenomenon, that is still believed by the members to be true, so it’s definitely not a trustworthy statement, but my OCD will use anything to work against me) Does anyone here relate a little? 🥲
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