Persistent Sexual Thoughts

First post, kinda scary. I’ve been trying to figure out for the longest time if this is an ocd thing or something else. For context, I used to have a really big problem with watching porn, starting for about 11-12 yrs old and only stopping a few months ago (I’m 24 now). I constantly have sexual thoughts about nearly every person I see. My family, friends, strangers, and more. It feels completely out of my control and it eats me alive. I have no one to talk to about these thoughts but I feel like if I don’t tell someone I am condoning and accepting these things as good. So I tell my wife. And it breaks her heart every single time. I want to say 95% of the time, I don’t want those thoughts but I can’t say with certainty that there aren’t times I do want to think about porn. Or maybe I don’t. Idk. It’s so exhausting. I’d like some help determining if this is a result of OCD or something else (like porn addiction symptoms or something). Thank you.

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6d

Having taboo intrusive thoughts is extremely common in OCD :) Welcome to the app btw! I highly recommend these social media accounts: @alegrakastens & @tabootracie on Insta. Both post about their taboo intrusive thoughts and so their posts may help you feel less alone ❤️‍🩹 I also highly recommend ERP therapy

Stephen Smith

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6d

The more we push to not think about the thoughts, the more they will happen (from my experience as a patient). It’s like saying “don’t think of the pink elephant in the room.”

dayrock

Date posted: 6d

@Stephen Smith Hi Stephen, just went through and read your featured post. It’s comforting to see that another person has sexual thoughts like this and was able to overcome. You’ve inspired me to look into ERP therapy. I’m currently on Medicaid (which I know unfortunately NOCD does not accept) but I’m going to look into it. Maybe there is hope for me to get better after all. I really appreciate your reply, initial post, and the community you’ve cultivated here. Thank you

deadrotloop

Date posted: 6d

I feel like porn addiction symptoms get trickier with OCD symptoms.. OCD kinda makes it threatening like if we stop watching porn something bad is going to happen, cause probably u build it as a coping mechanism and I did too.. I'm just trying to understand now.. for me in the past, porn did some good when I was so much anxious.. family trauma, love life all those were too much for me and right now it's doing only damage to me cause I'm trying to go towards my goal and build a future, so I'm now tryna getting sober from the addiction and hopefully u do what's best for you by understanding the OCD loop and your desire.. But the loop and my addiction to porn was so much stronger when I was really unhappy.. that time I couldn't think of getting sober.

YouWillSurvive

Date posted: 6d

I also was addicted to porn starting at 10-11. Sexualized thoughts about everything and everyone are a minute by minute occurrence for me too.

dayrock

Date posted: 6d

@YouWillSurvive Do you ever struggle with knowing whether it’s you thinking and WANTING to think those things? That’s been the hardest part for me. I feel like I should know for certain whether or not I choose to think them. I shouldn’t think they either way. Since you know what it’s like, you know how painful and torturous having these thoughts constantly is. I live in constant guilt, anxiety and stress. It’s hard to sit with my wife because all I can think about is all the terrible things in my mind and waiting for the next time she asks me “did you have any bad thoughts?”

YouWillSurvive

Date posted: 5d

@dayrock Well for me, I guess I just got so used to the oversexualization of everything that they don't bother me as much. Of course I still have days where they do, usually coinciding with my POCD and HOCD themes. You might find some relief listening to this podcast episode; ICBT is a very different way of OCD management that definitely changed the way I view all the things in my mind and all the feelings and sensations I feel. https://youtu.be/rCZOOo6JePk?si=77jJDb4SeBwPDjSI The OCD Stories Podcast is a great resource in general. If you haven't listened to it already I highly recommend it!

Anonymous

Date posted: 14w

Intentional intrusive thoughts during pleasure and masterbation

Hey guys today I just wanted to come here and share an experience I have and I generally don't know what to do I feel like a terrible person for having these thoughts and for thinking them I genuinely don't know what to do I don't know the signs behind it and why I think the way I do but it's honestly driving me crazy I don't know what to do I have a pornography addiction for a long time it's where it's like anytime I'm an intimate moment or am masturbating my head just thinks these weird things always the same repetitive thoughts to of family members your younger sibling or a young child I myself am a 17 year old and I feel so disgusted I feel like I can't live my life anymore I feel like I'm a criminal cuz like it feels like I chose this these thoughts like I actively think them I don't know the signs behind it and I just really need professional help if there's any like therapist here that could fill me in that would be nice I would also like to know if you guys had any similar experiences because for me I feel like I have to rewatch pornography and do it right without the thoughts cuz I feel like the thoughts are just like to prevalent anytime I do anything related to masturbation why do I think this way I'm also just trying to be as honest as I can with this I'm not trying to make myself I guess a victim I'm trying to hold myself accountable if I actually am like this because I also have doubts in my head that tells me that I enjoy these things I feel like I'm going crazy someone help because it feels so real like I acted on them or that I was pleasuring myself to the thoughts and not towards the video it's just how can I live with myself you know also during it it felt like I was thinking the thought for a long period of time like it was dominating my head so I couldn't focus it felt l

Anonymous

Date posted: 14w

My brain hates me (18+)

It’s like my brain is doing everything in its power to convince myself and also justify an attraction to teenagers. I hate myself. I don’t want to be this person, but what if I don’t have a choice. How do I get these thoughts out of my head permanently. I feel like my life will never be the same if they don’t leave forever. I can’t tell what is a real desire and what OCD is trying to convince me is a real desire. I can’t do this every day for the rest of my life. I don’t want to hurt anyone, or I don’t think I do but how do I even tell anymore. This might not even be OCD at this point, I can’t separate my thoughts from OCD thoughts I think because I’ve had OCD for so long so it all just feels like me. Maybe it is me. TMI but I haven’t pleasured myself in like a week because my libido is so low now, I don’t want to do it with these thoughts.

happygirl15

Date posted: 11w

POCD/ Intrusive thoughts & Images

so I’ve been seeking therapy for my OCD for a few years. The theme that I’ve been dealing with most recently is the fear of becoming a pedophile, which then has led to intrusive images of me doing things to kids.Which now is just causing me so much distress and 24/7 constant thought cycle. I am starting to not be able to tell the difference between thoughts that are wanted/ unwanted- the line has become some blurry and these things are starting to feel like someothing i want to do. My brain keeps telling me to just test these thoughts and the “maybe”or”i don’t know” isn’t working. This has become such a barrier because the second layer is that I’m afraid that if I just let the thoughts be there it’ll make me be OK with doing those things and the fear is what’s keeping me from actually doing something inappropriate. It’s also transitioned into intrusive thoughts and images of me doing something very disgusting to my dog and that when I’m cuddling with him I get the thoughts to just do it or try it to see if i am actually a p*do. it’s almost like the compulsion would be to do the inappropriate thing, even though I know it’s wrong just to see how it would make me feel. I feel like i can’t control these urges even though i’ve never acted on it. At any point i could just do it. I’ve never had these thoughts before up until about a year and a half ago when my friend‘s boyfriend got arrested for soliciting a minor then all these thoughts came to life.Has anyone experienced something like this and have any advice?

POCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Persistent Sexual Thoughts

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community