Signs of OCD in childhood I missed

i randomly started a fear of vomit in 1st grade, i think it was because of a big chaos that happened when someone did it in my school. i’ve been scared of hearing it, smelling it, seeing it, being around it, hearing about others stories etc. i don’t know if this could be signs of ocd, neither do i know if i’m right to post here. i can’t eat in public without washing my hands / using hand sanitizer. i wash my hands, then while i wash them, i think about everything i’ve touched, which makes me wash them more. my hands are pretty dry. i can’t touch anything after washing them. not even chairs. when i sanitize them, i use around 4-5 sprays. then i spray my nails. i am the worst while travelling. i keep distance from everyone, i hold my breath while walking past people, i can’t touch anyone, and i avoid public bathrooms. i need to make sure everyone at my table sanitize their hands before they eat too. i almost never eat chicken unless my mom or my friends parents has made it, i’m extremely afraid of food poisoning, i barely eat meat (pork, beef), because i can’t trust anything. i always take a plate that looks visibly clean. it can never have dirt/stains. in buffé’s, i have to grab food from the back of the pan/plate. i dont trust random resturants with 3.6 star in reviews, i need ABOVE 4.2. i get tons of images in my head of vomit. i have nightmares. i have this thing where when i play guitar, i NEED to play the part perfect, or else i will be stuck like that unperfectly forever?? i have to do it again and again until its perfect. every day i have to tell myself «today is good. this food is safe. we are having fun. im super excited.» words like that in my head 24/7 and i even tell myself that while im singing, doing maths in my head which is weird. it takes so much space and i can’t stop. if i get images in my head, i repeat «no, no, no, im healthy», if i don’t, i might get sick. i cant even go to playgrounds, soft plays, places where many kids are. im so sorry if this was hard to read. if you are an expert, please tell me if this is something i should talk to a psychiatrist/psychologist about, and if its signs of ocd. thank you.

I’ve always had OCD, and for most of my life it was little things that seemed manageable at the time or something that would phase out of my head within a couple days/weeks/months. But, the older I got the more severe it became, I’d find myself collapsing deeper and deeper within my own head trying to out think the thoughts that bothered me. About a year ago I had a thought that rattled me to my core. My brothers and I were watching a movie in our mother’s room when my youngest brother turned to me to say something. His close proximity to me triggered a fleeting sexually explicit image in my head and that thought caused me to spiral. Asking questions like, “are you attracted to your minor brother? Are you attracted to minors? Are you gay? Etc.” a couple days went by and my mental stability continued to crumble until I broke down to my mother, she was understanding and we found a a psychiatrist. I got on medication and for a while everything was slowly but surely trending in a positive direction. The thoughts would still pop into my head but they were becoming more manageable. As we all know OCD and mental illness comes in waves. Currently my OCD has been pretty severe. I feel those intrusive thoughts latching on in my head and it’s been very hard to kick them. It’s gotten to the point where I find myself being uncomfortable being in close proximity with my little brother because I feel as though I am capable of harming him in any way. And the more uncomfortable I become being around him the more I find myself lashing out in anger towards the people I care about the most. Those moments of anger cause me to spiral even farther as my head fills with ideas like “what if you are capable of hurting someone or even murdering them?” There’s times where these thoughts rattle me so much that I feel like it would be better to be in prison where I couldn’t harm someone or that even being dead would be a better solution than possibly running the risk of hurting someone in my life I care about. This is about the jist of it, a majority of the OCD I have is centered around the idea that I am capable of harming my little brother physically, mentally, sexually. It’s been exhausting and it feels like there is no end in sight.

I’m hoping to get some feedback or hear if anyone else experiences similar things. Lately, I’ve been noticing a lot of repetitive behaviors and thoughts that feel hard to control. Some of those things are: - I often get this uneasy feeling, and if I don’t do certain things in a specific way, it just doesn’t feel "just right." - I have to wash my hands until it feels "just right," and if I try not to, I get a thought that something bad will happen if I don’t. - I dislike using public bathrooms and even shared bathrooms at home. - When I shower, I have to wear socks before stepping on the floor. If my feet touch the ground, I feel like I have to shower again. - I get hyper-fixated on cuts, worrying about them getting infected, and I avoid touching water or anything else to prevent bacteria, even if I can’t cover them with a bandaid. - I can’t use dishes that have just been washed because I think they haven’t been cleaned properly. Instead, I use the ones that have already been dried and stored. When I type (like on emails or texts), I’ll fix what I write over and over, trying to make it "just right." - I have a strange dislike for certain numbers (7, 4, and 6) and feel uncomfortable around them. - I also have to follow routines, like making my bed in a certain way, and I can’t stop until everything is in the right order. - I get stuck on intrusive thoughts, like needing to wash my hands repeatedly or constantly checking things (like if I turned off the stove) because I fear something bad will happen if I don’t. - I’ll even repeat things in my head, like words or phrases, to make the "just right" feeling go away. - Sometimes, I treat inanimate objects like they have feelings and worry about hurting them, even though I know it's not real. - I’ve always felt like I’m being watched, which causes a lot of distress. There’s more, but these are some of the main things. I feel like these thoughts and behaviors control a lot of my day, and I just can’t stop them even when I know they’re kind of irrational. Does this sound like it could be signs of OCD, or is it something else? Or just normal behavior?