Relationship OCD with Infedelity

Hello, I have struggled with ROCD for a while now and I wanted to get some perspective from others that also struggle. I have caught my current partner cheating before, talking inappropriately with another woman, and I got over that for the most part. Then I was sending myself pictures from my boyfriend's phone (with his permission) and i used the share button and on the recents it showed a girl's snapchat as a recent. I asked him about it and he denied it and I even checked the snapchat and did not see her on it. It has been bothering me for months but I have been getting better. Has anyone experienced things of this nature being an intrusive thought? I feel like I am rebuilding trust then the pain and memory come back of these things. It makes me dwell and worry. I am doing well with dismissing these thoughts, but it is hard when it makes me feel like I made the wrong choice staying. I am actively choosing to stay with him but my OCD makes me think otherwise. All in all, does anyone else struggle with something similar to this? Also, please no relationship advice etc., that would cause me to spiral I would just like to hear other people's experiences with this. Thanks!

Anonymous

Date posted: 20h

I never caught my partner cheating but when we first started dating (like a week or two in). We were on a date and he opened Instagram for some reason. We'll right front and center was a woman twerking like full inappropriate style. I told him before I will not be with someone who watches that stuff in a relationship. He unfollow3d them and said it was a "dancer" friend from high-school. I really didn't believe him but loved on cuz at the time I wasn't super serious about the relationship after a few things he said. Was more just exploring another person dating not were gonna marry eachother dating. Cut to now we have a child. I have seen half naked women on his tiktok or Instagram randomly when scrolling. I know it can happen without watching that stuff and sometimes I get thirst traps of men without ever viewing anything like that. But it still really bothers me. Needless to say I get were you're at but my partner never actually cheated. That would be it for me but I know others are more forgiving. In fact the other night he opened Instagram and the first thing was a meme page he followed randomly posted a half naked woman and I felt my heart drop and spiral. Instead of avoiding and letting it eat me aside I talked to him about it. I think that was a step in the right direction is having a very open very honest talk. But I personally feel really disappointed that i have to deal with this feeling. And I will never have certainty if he was intentionally viewing stuff like that or if it was coincidental. Ugh im really sorry that all really sucks. This was my experience and now that I know I struggle with rocd what I should make of it all. Basically my constant existential crisis lol 😅

Anonymous

Date posted: 20h

@Anonymous Thank you for your response! I also do not like when my partner looks at those things on social media either. I’ve been very open with my partner but I guess it’s just a continuous ocd struggle for me! Unfortunately once I am over one topic my OCD will cling onto something else 😅

Anonymous

Date posted: 19h

@Anonymous Thats how ol ocd be. She pretty nasty lol

Anonymous

Date posted: 20h

We actually had a brief break up were i said I just didn't think I was ready for a relationship yet because I hadn't had a long period of time being single. And I also had concerns over his actions and beliefs. It was a week apart and then I decided to choose him. Its been a journey to say the least. Ive only recently discovered how the rocd has been affecting my relationships.

Anonymous

Date posted: 20h

@Anonymous Thank you for your response! It took me a while and me putting my foot down with my partner. I ended up choosing him as well but I guess my mind just wants to torture me haha. It’s always a journey with ocd I feel.

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