How to let go of real event.

I did something over the beginning of this week, that’s been bugging me everyday all day. Can real event and rumination start so fast? Like day after the event? And with this how can I let go? I keep looking at past mistakes and thinking to myself oh well I let go of that “one”instantly and that was just a few months ago, but with this one I can’t let it go. Is trying to find reason of what I did compulsive? Just to clarify it was nothing illegal, just weird and I didn’t enjoy it during nor want to ever again. I’m 18 I probably haven’t done this since I was young 17 which what I’m thinking is well I just tried an old thing and I hated it showing I’ve changed and matured showing I should just let go of the guilt, because I’m becoming adult and clearly different. I suppose me also turning 18 doesn’t mean my brain is now a genius I’m still somewhat 17 and of course maturing into 18.

Eclipse_xx

Date posted: 3d

Real event can happen immediately after the event or it can latch onto something from years ago, there's no time limits, the defining thing is the repeating cycle, not the timeframes. One of my real events was right on the edge of 17/18. I'm 22 now, and 18 is still young. 18 is still a teenager and frankly, you are still a emotionally/socially/mentally a child, you are still maturing, you're allowed to make mistakes and experiment with what you do and don't like. It is completely normal.

AH3849

Date posted: Yesterday

@Eclipse_xx I know I didnt hurt anyone but it’s still weird, and a little over a year ago I was like “oh I’m not doing that again” but I won’t lie I just stuck to a softer version? I don’t know if that says anything. But like I said now I don’t want anything to do with that genre at all and I know it this time. I don’t know if this is common for mistakes but a lot of time I’m like “Never again or not doing that again” then I repeat it once or twice before I really stop. I don’t know if that shows immaturity or is normal for mistakes. I should be happy about since it’s a sign of change but I feel I can’t let go. It’s so hard. But I understand change doesn’t just go right away it starts some say and time passes we look back and say “what was I doing?? Whatever in the past.”

Eclipse_xx

Date posted: Yesterday

@AH3849 It doesn't necessarily mean anything if you repeated a mistake a couple of times even after regretting it, it's human nature, we have habits and behaviours and sometimes it's hard to change them the first few times we make a mistake. You still have learned from it otherwise you wouldn't be reflecting on it the way you are right now, and even if you did "softer versions" of the mistake after, it just means you realized you crossed a clear boundary that you didn't like and wanted to stay behind that boundary.

NamedUser

Date posted: 3d

If it helps ive also had real events that have happened while I've 18/19. It can genuinely be so hard and just know that you're doing the best you can. Don't let OCD, especially real event OCD, dictate your day to day 🫶

AH3849

Date posted: Yesterday

@NamedUser Ty I’m glad to know mistakes still happen at this age and probably so forth but this one I know I’ll leave for sure.

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