Thought vs. Belief (21+)

How do you tell the difference between a thought and a belief? With OCD, it's said the thoughts are distressing because they go against your beliefs. But it makes me question whether these are thoughts going against my beliefs or if they are beliefs that I don't want? A few weeks ago, I had a horrible bigoted thought regarding my girlfriend upon waking up from a dream. Even though it made me sick with anxiety, I fear it's a belief or view I hold, even though I don't want it. The thought is disrespectful to her existence and identity, and I'm so afraid that I'm not who I think I am. If she knew I had that thought, it would change the way she thinks about me. I don't want to be the kind of person that believes things like that. But what if I am and I can't change it? I talked about the thought in therapy, and I feel like I betrayed her by saying it out loud to someone else.

garba

Date posted: 2d

I guess since I'm so viscerally disgusted by it, I would wager a guess that it doesn't allign with who I am at my core. But it was so specific and awful, and I hate that I am still thinking about it weeks after. I have the urge to confess, but I don't want to. But I'm scared that by not confessing I am being deceptive, like she doesn't know what kind of person I am. Like I am the type of person I'm afraid I am, wven if I don't want to be. My brain has latched onto this in so many ways, and it's making me miserable. It's what my brain fixates on when the more "classic" ROCD thoughts aren't at the forefront. I just hate that I can't "prove" that these aren't my beliefs. Because what if I just want to avoid facing it? Avoid accountability? Avoid loss? I'm so afraid of losing her. But I'm scared if she knew she wouldn't want me anymore

NotThatHardcore

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

I’ve had intrusive beliefs. Like I am an atheist and used to have an intrusive belief in God that didn’t align with my logic or values. We don’t control our beliefs. Rather, we control our values. Values, you can choose and make meaning from. Beliefs, you can argue and get caught in OCD traps about. Values, less so.

garba

Date posted: Yesterday

You that we choose our values? I have been doing my best not to put so much weight into my thoughts, and I have been trying so hard to genuinely believe the whole "you are not your thoughts" thing. I still struggle with that, and it has turned into, "well you aren't your thoughts, but you are your beliefs." And then I fear that these repetitive bigoted thoughts come from subconscious bigoted beliefs. They cause distress and rumination, but I'm afraid that they just stress me out because I don't want to be a bad person, not because they actually go against who I am. And that brings me to values. I'm still very confused about if values are inherent or if they are chosen. Like, I get these thoughts, and they cause a feeling of upset and anxiety. Is that the thoughts going against my values, or just the guilt of lying to my loved ones about "who I really am" because these bigoted "beliefs" would directly harm them. I had a moment the other day where I maybe identified it as a value because I got a political ad on YouTube that was saying bigoted things about the topic I worry/ruminate about, and I immediately felt disgust at what they were saying, and I reported the ad for hate speech. Sorry for the rant. Everyone always says that thoughts don't matter, values do. But it's so hard when I doubt my thoughts, beliefs, and values :( I'm scared I'm inherently not who I want to be

NotThatHardcore

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

What I’m hearing is a lot of rumination. The more we ruminate, the more confusing things become. This is probably more advice than I’m supposed to give, but if you feel up to it: think of a value you would like to have, pick an action related to that value, and then do that. The way to get out of your head and feel more solid in your values is to follow the values you would like to have. Then, repeat.

NotThatHardcore

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

Don’t then check if it worked, by the way. It takes a while of not ruminating or otherwise compulsing for things to get less confusing.

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